Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

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Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

The 1950's, 1960's and 70's was a period when new health inventions were being pushed and formula was part of that. People saw how new inventions such as antibiotics and asthma inhalers transformed lives, and formula milk manufacturers cashed in on this with their advertising which emphasised how formula feeding was healthier for babies. Remember no internet, so there was no access to information that challenged this for many people. Once that generational link of breastfeeding was broken, formula feeding becomes the norm.

Also NHS hospitals back then were promoting formula feeding at worst, or at best were promoting practices that made breastfeeding harder.

Hi Hotter. I think it was me who mentioned non-leaky breasts as an advantage if FF. However I definitely didn’t find bottle feeding more convenient than BF- I am very lazy and found the mixing, temperature regulation, remembering to buy the stuff and the bottle cleaning and sterilising a right faff. Breastfeeding is the ultimate in convenience and I am amazed more people don’t do it for that reason alone. My heart sinks when people come on here asking about “newborn essentials” and 10 people jump straight in with “Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep”.

And crucially, for me, any reasons relating to my comfort like breast leaking etc only became relevant after a full 6 months of BF, when I was happy that I had given him a decent chance to get the health benefits. (This is from the POV of someone who had no problems BF, totally different if you can’t get it to work for you).

I think breastfeeding is only convenient in the day and when out and about, it's not convenient day in day out.

On the point up thread about pumping facilities, I used to work at a big law firm that had a parenting room, with a comfy chair for pumping and a fridge to store milk. It was tucked away in the basement, and I don't think the vast majority of employees even knew it was there - only the ones going through the maternity leave process found out about it from HR. I think more and more really big employers recognise that they ought to provide this, actually.

I really wanted to breastfeed, but was so poorly after birth my milk supply wouldn’t come in; and despite trying to pump my supply back up and plenty of skin to skin etc it just wasn’t happening. So not everyone has the choice, but it is interesting to notice trends.

We have a poor uptake in the NW, but the ones I've heard of recently were the poorer ones, wc and breadline or just over, like my neice who is feeding two atm.
My dil didn't and i'd say they are mc.

I think breastfeeding is only convenient in the day and when out and about, it's not convenient day in day out.
...really? I think it's FAR more convenient, wherever you are. Baby is hungry, unclip bra, done. Night feeds took place with me basically asleep. My first almost never cried at night - he woke next to me, I woke too, quickly latched him (or after 6 week or so he latched himself), I closed my eyes and went back to sleep while he fed, he went back to sleep when he was done. Occasionally I rolled over or shifted position to give him the other breast, but I didn't have to sit up or do more than briefly open my eyes.

It was also amazingly convenient when they were sick, or that time me and my toddler got stuck in a bathroom for 5 hours.

It seems to be a common attitude amongst that generation who were having children 1970s-1990s. Older than this and it seems bfing was the norm. Did something happen during this time to put women off bfing?

I was born in the 70s, my DM wanted to BF and was actively discouraged by the midwives - who also gave me a bottle without my DMs consent. DM BF anyway, and did the same for my DSis.

^Excluding those who have tried and had problems I think someone upthread nailed it.
One of the main reasons must be convenience.^

While I realise everyone is different, I have to say I found BF very convenient. All that sterilising and measuring out formula and wondering if it's ok to make in advance, how long will it keep, do I have a freezer bag to take out with me, has it stayed cool enough, how do I heat it when out, and all the rest would have just panicked me constantly (Disclosure: I do suffer from anxiety).

I was also never that leaky. The feeding every hour thing for weeks was a bit trying, but on the other hand he slept from midnight until 7-7.30ish then again until 9 so I got a reasonable amount of sleep.

On the point up thread about pumping facilities, I used to work at a big law firm that had a parenting room, with a comfy chair for pumping and a fridge to store milk.

Sounds amazing! I had to do it in the loo on a hard wooden chair.

I'm not working class but there are several reasons why I would never breastfeed. Some are for trivial reasons but I'm going to be honest.

• I like to be independent. I love both of my children to bits but I like to be able to go and stay over places/ have fun/ go the gym without worrying about sore breasts or leaking. Being pregnant feels like a massive chore as it is, I don't want to feel like I'm voluntarily extending it. Leaving my children for an evening already feels difficult at times and BF would just be an additional worry.

• My partner is also their parent, and bottle feeding makes him just as capable as me at being their parent in every aspect. Sex drive is meant to reduce with BF - my relationship is important to me and I think relationships are already in danger of being neglected with having a baby. I can't imagine feeling sexy with my breasts leaking or having to pump using a machine.

• I don't get the fuss about bottle prep time. It's easy.

• sleeping- it may be sheer good luck but both my babies were sleeping through at 3 weeks or so. They were also quiet/content even in hospital- I just remember the BF babies screaming constantly and their mothers quite emotional. Many of my friends who BF also had complications from it that required them to go back and stay in hospital etc.

• impact on how your breasts look afterwards- I remember a midwife telling me that breasts are affected by pregnancy, not breastfeeding. In my experience this isn't true at all. I know I'll get slaughtered for saying this, but I'm being honest. Your body already takes a hammering whilst pregnant, I don't want those worries as well.

-Reactions from others- sorry to say but it would make some members of my family very uncomfortable.

In all honesty if I could go into a room of 21 year olds and we could see those instantly who were BF it would be worth doing... but we really can't. So all the above just doesn't make it worth it for me, that has no bearing on class. In all honesty I think there is more of a competitive edge amongst middle class women- BF seems to serve as a stick to gauge successful motherhood and berate others for not sticking to it in my opinion.

Cafelatte ,I breast fed three kids for 2 years each. My breats are just fine now, thank you.
How kind of you to deprive your children of the best start in life to save embarressing your family!

Oh dear! Why so defensive?

I breast fed 3 babies and boobs look fine. Though I think that worry is why young women don’t want to do it. Leaky boobs only a problem when back at work which soon resolved.

I read that the most common reason to give up breastfeeding is the perception that you are not producing enough milk. Surely the lack of knowledge amongst many new mothers about what breastfeeding actually looks like, must be a large cause of this?

Before everyone gets fixated on that I think it's clear it's just one of the reasons I've stated.

Nice bit of mum guilt thrown in there by the way Roisin, 😂 I think you'll find that persuades no-one, not for the right reasons anyway.

Dragon

Yes because it basically means that only the mother can feed. Can't go out for longer than an hour without the baby or your boobs leak everywhere.

cafelatte I felt similarly. I did bf for the first few weeks but I don't see it as a viable long term option because of those reasons, apart from family reactions as that wasn't an issue for me.

Not defensive Cafe...it seems you are very keen to over explain why you chose not to breast feed.
It's easy and I never felt tied down by it.

...and I was not half as kind to my family/relatives . I put my children's needs first.

In all honesty if I could go into a room of 21 year olds and we could see those instantly who were BF it would be worth doing... but we really can't

I've never understood this perspective. Most health issues, including nearly all of those for which BF is preventative, aren't overtly visible. (The exception being overweight and obesity.) Why would you expect to be able to "see" the difference? Can you see allergies, dental issues, asthma, diabetes, coeliac disease, cardiovascular issues? Can you diagnose cancer - a very serious health problem indeed - by looking at people? And that's leaving aside the health benefits of breastfeeding to the mother. My personal risk of breast cancer is now substantially lower. Is it only worth it if you also look better?

BF or not is entirely up to you. But I find the idea of "we can't seethe difference between FF and BF children, therefore there isn't one" a fairly nonsensical argument.

Yes I am keen to explain- when the only consensus inferred on here is that we must all be WC and it must be solely a class issue then I want to explain my reasons as to why I didn't. I don't feel most of these have anything to do with class.

By the way- a best start to a baby is a calm one in which it is loved and nurtured. Feeding is not the be all and end all to that.

So it definitely seems like from 1970s-1990s formula was being pushed by medical experts, rather than in society. Interesting!

I don’t understand the attitude of ff being “convenient”. Bfing, once established, is so much more convenient. No making up bottles at 2am, or taking them out with you. We went on a couple of weekend trips when DC was small and it was lovely not having to worry about packing bottles, formula or worry about washing and sterilising bottles in hotel rooms.

Sore, leaky boobs - this stops at around 6-8 weeks, once feeding is established.

As for the whole “my family would be uncomfortable”, that’s ridiculous. Fuck them. Who cares? I’ve always been a discreet feeder when not at home (more for my own comfort than anyone else - just as I’ve never been comfortable sunbathing topless, I’m not comfortable getting a whole breast out to feed in public) and once baby is latched, no one can see any skin at all. If BIL or DF or whoever are embarrassed by that, they need to cop the fuck on.

Can't go out for longer than an hour without the baby or your boobs leak everywhere.

By 12 weeks, most babies have more widely spaced feeds and most women are no longer having leakage, unless they went for a very long period without feeding. The very frequent and time-consuming feed stage is fairly short. (Usually!)

I went back to work while bfing and I never leaked anywhere

I've never leaked more than a few drops.

I've not said my points expecting you all to agree with me, it's obvious a lot won't, that's why we choose different paths in the first place. But they are an honest reflection of how I think and feel and I'm sure many others will do too- my point being it's not as simplistic as being solely a class thing in my eyes. I'm not here to debate my points or get you all to try and persuade me to change my mind (you won't ).