To ask some of you slightly older mothers about your experience?

[theboomtownrat]

NC'd as potentially outing.
I'm considering having a 3rd baby, but a bit worried about how my body will handle it, and how I will cope with the demands of a newborn.

I'm interested in hearing from those of you who had DC between 38 and 42. How did you bounce back?
Would you recommend it?
What were your biggest challenges?

I had my 1st and 28 and 2nd at 33. I definitely found it tougher 2nd time around.
I'm now 37 and fairly healthy. I'm a bit overweight and could definitely so with loosing a couple of stone but could do thy before I get pregnant (if that does happen)
I've only got 1 tube so my chances of a successful pregnancy are somewhat limited.

Tia x

fucking knackered.

blackeyed
that pretty much covers it op

Slept walked for 3 years.
You can gain as much info as you like, or can handle, but the baby you get is the baby you care for. My other babies were easy. I assumed at 40 it would be breeeze. Fuck me, never again, sex or another baby. Dc3 was totally different and cried constantly from sunup sun down and any time in between. 5 years later, they are an absolute joy. But is was anything but easy.

I had one at 38 and another at 39! The worst part of it all was the sickness in pregnancy. Next worst bit was being woken up at 5.30am for years.

Had my first and only at almost 41 and it was fine. Good pregnancy but I did have an emergency c section. Manage to lose my baby weight before I returned to work. So all good really. That was 10 years ago and I think I had it pretty good. BUT I only had one so I can’t say how it would be at that age having a third child. Busy I imagine

I have a lot of friends my age who had children at the same time as me and I don’t feel like an older mum at the school gates, I honestly just don’t think about it really.

My age was mentioned the most during my pregnancy by medical staff actually. Since then it doesn’t really come up.

My DM was 43 having my DSis and she said she loves her but found it ten times more knackering than when she was younger (having me).

There’s also the higher risk of having a child with additional needs to be taken in to consideration.

Oh and my dm hated doing all the school parties and stuff again second time around and is now starting to feel it, having an almost teen in her mid-50s, whilst working Ft and dealing with elderly parents and their increasing needs.

It’s safe to say we drink lots of wine!

Had my second at 42. She's 1 now. I'm bloody knackered to be honest. She's not too difficult so it must be my age. I wouldn't change it for the world but I am very, very tired. All the time....

Thanks ladies!
I'd say the tiredness will hit really hard. But you just get on with it don't you!?
I've been broody now for about 2 years and just can't shake it. I need another wee baby? I don't feel like we are done

3rd at 40. Was much better than 2nd 10 years before in terms of pelvic pain. Lost the baby weight very quickly and went back to pre pregnancy weight. Put some on when I stopped breastfeeding and went on pill. Now lost that again.
Didn’t feel tired as I co slept and still do. She’s easy going. I had my first 2 close together and that was exhausting. Having 1 later is lovely.

Wee babies become stroppy teenagers remember!

Had my first at 40 and last at 44. Exhausted. Utterly shattered. Having said that my previous experience made me worry less and let more go. Last one may well be the best one! Weight and body were fine but the lack of me time weighed. Now? Wouldn't change a thing after a few years of good sleep under my belt! :) :)

Had my second at 39. Would have had them both earlier but it took us longer than planned. But so far (3 months in) I'm not finding it any harder at 39 than I did at 34. Probably because DD2 is a brilliant sleeper (much better than DD1 was) I think there's a massive element of luck of the draw what the particular baby is like.

Give it another 2 years, once the hormones of broodiness clear off and they hit adolescence you won’t want to start again.

It is not that they turn into awful teens (mine hasn’t... yet) but it is about enjoying the freedom and the age they are in. I wouldn’t like to be changing nappies at this time.

Had my 2nd at 39. Was a great pregnancy until the last few weeks when BP was slightly high but not life threatening. Recovered from labour quickly and didn't feel any more exhausted than when I had my first at 34. Would have had another in my 40s if dh would have been up for it.

Had my first at 39 and second at 41. It was a hellacious few years but DH was fab and we got through it. Both turned out to be great kids and no problems as teenagers. One is in uni and the other is applying now. No regrets, am so glad I took the plunge.

I found it embarrassingly easy But XH#2 was very much better at doing things with ds2 than XH#1 was. Plus ds2 has been a breeze to raise- slept when he was supposed to, fed when he was supposed to etc.

Physically- well, I've been doing karate for 15 years and only took 4 weeks off. I think that had a lot to do with my body returning to pre-pregnancy shape quickly (internally and externally!)

I agree with pps, it depends on the baby you get. I was lucky with ds2- if I'd had another one like ds1 I would've had a very different story to tell!

Had my 3rd at 42. Physically fine but the DC was really hard work purely because of personality for a couple of years - hated being a baby I think. Great since. Go for it!

Nope. It was my second so I did. But it’s your third so I wouldn’t. 40 with a toddler isn’t funny. But I did my best and love my kids.

I had my first at 31 and my second at 38. I found it a lot more difficult the second time. My second pregnancy and birth was easier but two years later I still don’t feel physically back to normal. I do brutal shift work which doesn’t help but I genuinely am surprised at how difficult it has and continues to be. Both my kids were and are decent sleepers so I have that to be thankful for! This is just my experience though. I don’t imagine it’s the same for everyone.

I was just shy of 42 when I had DD. She was an easy baby, we had a touch of the terrible two's, and she is now a lovely,
funny, delightful three year old (with an occasional tantrum All in all its been great.

She is very like me - she loves her sleep (thank God!) and DH and I are both quite laid back so she's the same. I'd do it all again, but you get what you get - No guarantees that DC2 would be as easy or that DD doesn't turn feral overnight!

I had my first at 27 - a total shock to the system, took me a long time to get used to being a mum instead of working outside the home even though I had no desire to go back to work at all.

When I was 40 I had my fifth. The pregnancy was unplanned but a happy accident. I felt exhausted and ill from 6 months on - high blood pressure, flu, sciatica - but the moment the baby arrived (easiest birth ever) I was 100% fine. Easiest baby ever, on top of the world, no baby blues, just enjoyed being mum from the moment she arrived.

37 and 39 for my two. In all honesty the hardest part was having two young ones together. I couldn't focus on DS2 because DS1 was only at nursery a few hours, and I couldn't focus on DS1 because DS2 would get up to mischief.

With your two being older and at school that shouldn't be such an issue for you. However, a third child would have to be dragged along to all of your older two's activities. THAT won't be fun, especially having a baby with you on the sidelines of your older DC's winter sporting activities (thinking of the howling wind and rain when watching DS1's football).

I had DS at 39, he's my only one and he was a surprise (though a much loved one). I found it all basically OK but I had nothing to compare it with - he's 14 now btw.

I am loving having a toddler and I am 45 user1511! He makes me laugh every day- life is literally funnier than it was before .

To answer your question OP I felt fine and dandy, very easy pregnancy and straightforward birth ( though induced as they won’t let you go past term when over 40). I was not hugely fit before he was born but haven’t felt physically limited with what I can do with him. He is my only child though, I can imagine that having 3 kids is exhausting at any age.

I had my first when I was younger.
I was back in my pre pregnancy clothes within a month & the weight stayed off.
I was a size 10 at 39 when I got pregnant again.
I used to go running regularly & was reasonably fit but not super fit.
I never was able to shift the weight after having my youngest at 40 so I'm now still a size 12-14 years later.

I find it more tiring, I have less energy for e.g. running around after kids then I used to have but I am also a far more relaxed parent because I've done it all before so it's more demanding physically but less stressful emotionally.