To ask some of you slightly older mothers about your experience?

[theboomtownrat]

NC'd as potentially outing.
I'm considering having a 3rd baby, but a bit worried about how my body will handle it, and how I will cope with the demands of a newborn.

I'm interested in hearing from those of you who had DC between 38 and 42. How did you bounce back?
Would you recommend it?
What were your biggest challenges?

I had my 1st and 28 and 2nd at 33. I definitely found it tougher 2nd time around.
I'm now 37 and fairly healthy. I'm a bit overweight and could definitely so with loosing a couple of stone but could do thy before I get pregnant (if that does happen)
I've only got 1 tube so my chances of a successful pregnancy are somewhat limited.

Tia x

Constantly tired, it's as if the little buggers sneak in your bedroom at night and suck your energy away.

My 4th baby is due when I turn 38 this summer. I also had baby number 3 last summer! Plus I have 2 older teenagers.

I've found baby number 3 to be so much easier than when i was younger. I'm more patient and i know what I'm doing (almost) this time. Sure I'm knackered! But I was just as knackered 19 years ago when my teenagers were babies too.

Some complications with my pregnancy last year (not age related tho) but this pregnancy has been fine.

I think blackeyed summed it up for everyone.

I had my third one at 38. But he was such a good baby that it was easier adapting to 3 children than adapting to two.

The problems came later ...

I have a bigish family. 3 in my 20's, 3 in my 30's, and 1 in my 40's.. I actually found out I was pregnant with her on my 42nd birthday
Pregnacy was no different. Labour was no different. Sleep after was no different I was knackered anyway.. But she was a "hard baby ". I think my expectations were higher because I'd done it before, thought I knew it all after having 6. But every baby is different.
She is 10 now, and absolutely the apple of all our eyes. Has kept the fun in the house when faced with moody teens.
Only down bit is once being asked if I was the Mom or the Granny

Had my first at 34 and second and third at 38 - there's a much higher chance of multiples if you're older...
I'm totally knackered and haven't had a good night's sleep in years but I'm absolutely sure that my family is complete now. If I had stopped at one I'd always have wondered.

I had my DD at 38. I don't think I was any more tired than other, younger mums I knew with 1 DC. No problems physically. 38 is really too young to be 'feeling your age' unless you have specific health issues.

I was 6 weeks off being 38 when DS was born. I'd had 2 MC before he was conceived, first one 6 weeks before I got married & another 3 months later. We had just been referred for investigations as I had PCOS as well as MC when I got pregnant with DS. I had a fairly good pregnancy, not much sickness until I was 36 weeks, I had a fall & broke all my fingers on one hand on the Monday & by Friday had swollen up by over 2 stone with pre eclampsia. I was induced & got to 8cm in a back to back labour but had to have an EMCS, I was quite poorly afterwards, I'd had a big PPH in theatre, had to have a biggish blood transfusion & developed HELLP syndrome, I was in high dependency for 48 hours & had to stay another 48 hours after before going home. It took a good 3 months before I started to feel back to normal, I lost all my baby weight within a month of having DS, I was 16 stone when I was admitted & within a month weighed less than 10 stone, but I had been very ill. I honestly don't think the pre eclampsia was anything to do with my age, when I was 7 months my husband out of the blue was diagnosed with MS, he went blind driving to work & within a month was in a wheelchair. I think the shock & stress contributed to it.

I had my first at 33 and my last at 40. The only relevant differences in the pregnancies were that I found the last pregnancy more tiring than any of the others, and that I had swollen legs with it, too. But in terms of anaemia, blood pressure, general pregnancy health etc, they were all the same - generally good.

Last labour was shortest, and the easiest birth. I think experience and self-belief really helped me there. Last recovery was fastest, but I had a post-natal doula 2-3 times a week, which was wonderful, worth every penny.

Toughest thing about having a baby at 40 was that I could not cope with the broken nights. Not helped by DlastC being a non-sleeping perpetual motion machine! Nor TBH by me going into early menopause within a year or two.

I had my 2nd at 42 he's now 2 and you forget all about the joys of potty training etc. He's such a different nature from my 1st child and going through tantrums, my other son is turning into Kevin the teenager!
But I wouldn't change it for the world i tried for years and suffered 8 mmc before my 2nd son came along. I adore my wee boy and although I'm tired even though he's a great sleeper I would say go for it. If I was guaranteed not to suffer from hg and had the money and space I'd have another

though induced as they won’t let you go past term when over 40

Hate it when I read stuff like this. Not having a go at the poster but the fact is that they can't force you into anything! They can say that they "dont let you" but the choice is yours! I was told that I must be in hospital, that I must be consultant led and that I must accept whatever interventions where deemed necessary as otherwise me and the baby WOULD die. All because I was 39 and it was my 6th child, despite being told previously that all was well and I would be fine MW led.

My crime? Saying I was considering a homebirth. Which I in fact had and it was text book.

Just get as physically fit as you can before you TTC, honestly, it makes a WORLD of difference.

DD1 I had at 34; easy but a MH crash after delivery
DS I had at 35; had a bit of a hard pregnancy with just being hella tired
DD2 is due in 6 weeks and I’m 37; this pregnancy has been hard as I’ve been physically quite rickety, sleepless and nauseous.

But thats back to back pregnancies and not age; just go for it I say x

I had my first at 33, and my second and third at 38. It was harder at the start, but more likely down to having twins. Now they are nearly 5, I work 4 nights a week, minimal sleep due to fitting in it in between school runs and after school clubs, and still manage to exercise, so I'm not convinced age makes it harder.

I had DS at 37 and DD at 39. DD is three weeks old. I had gestational diabetes with DS, which I controlled well with diet. With DD, it was much harder to control and was put on insulin.

I had more aches and pains with DS, especially pelvic pain. Hardly anything with DD. Had HORRIFIC acid indigestion and heartburn with both pregnancies.

DS was a induction at 40 weeks that ended in an emergency CS due to length of induction. Few weeks recovery time. DS had infection from length of induction and spent time in SCBU. It was very hard to establish BF. DS is now 2 and an awful sleeper (although to be fair to him, he does seem to have sinus issues that affect this - he had his adoniods removed at 20 months which helped, but we are still investigating other sinus issues).

DD was also a induction at 38 weeks, but a VBAC. Recovery time was much, MUCH quicker than with DS. I was in Sainsbury's the next day. BF'ds and sleeps like a dream, but it's only been three weeks.

I feel great at the moment. Massively sleep deprived as DD cluster feeds some nights and DS does not sleep through, but at least I am not FT at work anyone so can sneak in naps (not that it's happened yet!) and you just get on despite it.

I don't have the uncertainty or guilt in the '4th trimester' with DD that I had with DS. I'm really enjoying this first month with her as I am not as fraught as I was with DS.

I found my pregnacy with DC2 much more tiring at 37 than I did with DC3 at 40. With DC3 I worked up until 10 days before planned c section. I dont really feel any worse than I did with just 2DC I have found I'm more efficient at doing most things now!

I had my babies at 37 and 39. I had very easy pregnancies with no morning sickness or any other problems. My first labour was reasonably quick and straightforward. My second was an emergency caesarean. The first few weeks were very tiring but apart from that I managed very well and don't think that it would have been any easier if I'd been ten years younger. ( They did sleep through at 6 weeks and 10 weeks respectively which I think helped a great deal).

You'll have a teenager whilst going through the menopause! Hell I tell ya!

First child at 30, second at 39.
Second pregnancy much much harder, I was shattered and in a lot of discomfort.
However, as soon as I gave birth it was much easier and it has been totally fine.
Yes I'm tired but I've 2 kids and I work FT. Life is busy. And for me it's been easier 2nd time around as the older one helps out. Oh and kid 2 actually sleeps .
So as pp said you get the baby you get and you can't control that but only you know how much you want another one!

I had my ds at 45. I only have one ovary & tube as well - due to surgery years ago - but conceived when I wasn’t trying, and had a normal pregnancy.
I didn’t find it too tiring, but I didn’t have two others to look after. I took 12 months maternity leave and then went back to work. I don’t regret it for a second.

I was 41 when i had my dd 7 yrs ago...it is brilliant.!! Yes its tiring but I am a better mum than I was when I did it first time round.I have way more patience,I am more relaxed,more stable and have non of the angst that I had before....financially i am better off too so that helps.Our dd wasn;t planned but she is a much welcomed addition to us all and life is wonderful with her in it...Go for it ...I highly recommend it!

The issue wasn’t so much when they were younger, but now they are older. I am absolutely exhausted. Dd now ten years old, and by the time she is a teen I will be mid fifties.
I have had some health problems I didn’t count on, and we have no parental support at all, and haven’t got years. In laws have died and my dp are too old and have health problems. I feel drained most of the time. I wish we had started earlier re having dc.
A baby is all well and good op, but they don’t stay babies for very long do they! Buy a dog 🐕

I’m currently feeding number 3 and I’m 39. It was a fucking rough pregnancy and the birth was full on. I’m really glad we had her. I wish I’d lost weight before hand not just to look better but because the pregnancy was so rough moving was hard and the extra weigh made it harder.

Had my first at 27 and sailed through pgy and a elcs (breech). Hardly put any weight on, pinged back within weeks, back at work when dd was 3 weeks old (complicated situation). Dd was an easy baby and toddler. Couldn't understand all the fuss.

Had ds at 37. Jesus fuck. Was huge and waddly from 6 months, struggled to shift the weight, constantly fucking exhausted even though I didn't go back to work. Ds was more intense than dd but I bf to 18 months. Absolutely different.

But he is 5 now and very funny, very loving and a gorgeous little boy. It can't have been too horrendous because when he got to 1 I started an internal debate about another. Dh said no fucking way so that was the end of that and am passed it now.

But that yearning definetly does fade and I am on the same page as DH now.

I had mine at nearly 42. Pregnancy was easy and I had a straightforward planned c section as she was breech. Recovery from that was straightforward too. But we are knackered still and she’s 4 now. She didn’t sleep through the night until 2.5 and is the very opposite of laid back so we don’t know of it is our age, her being quite challenging, or both. I wish we’d started earlier so we could have had another one, but I only feel ready for that now and at 46 it’s too late.

You also have to consider some of the pp have only an older experience to go by, I had my first dd at 30 and it was a breeze. Ten years is a long time, esp in terms of energy. The differences were stark I can tell you, and it doesn’t get better as the years roll by.
The other consideration is your age by the time your child reaches young adulthood (I can testify it is still very demanding!) and we will be pushing sixty and drawing a pension by the time the youngest gets there so think carefully op,

Good health is not a given.

Do you have a good solid support network for next twenty years?
Will you need to look after either sets of parents? Even if they are well now.
Who would raise dc if anything were to happen?
Can you financially manage another 21 years of outlay?
Have you really got in it in you to the wheels on the bus/ phonetics/potty training/awake all night every night for years again??

The biggest body change was the weight stacked on. I was always petite and slim, now I look like a galleon in full sail. I have no idea if that's age related or pregnancy related. But its a slog trying to get it back off.