To ask if you have a problem with your father walking you down the isle?

[trully]

I have just seen the thread about asking for hand in marriage and seeing how sexist it is etc etc I do agree and I understand where it came from. However, it's the same for your father "giving you away" and walking you down the isle. Does that bother everyone too?

Both of my parents walked me into the registery office. It was quite sweet- my brother passed away earlier that year so it felt quite nice to walk into my wedding day as the three musketeers we had sadly become.

My daughter's father died a few years ago. I know he'd have been really proud to support her to the next stage of her life. I don't know yet whether she'll ask me to do the same, but I'll be proud to do so too

And you absolutely should. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for it.

MoreSlidingDoors, shaming women into agreeing with you and removing their freedom of choice is exactly what we don't need more of.

My boys are walking me down the aisle (second marriage). At least that way I'll be able to keep an eye on the little scamps!!! 😂

It would be a cold day in hell before anyone walked me down the aisle. When I married 20 years ago my dad was already dead, and my mum suggested my brother do it.

Would have thought she'd have known me better!

But then it's not a 'traditional' wedding we are having. Personally for me I'd never get married in a church (not a Christian) and also going to be rocking a pink dress. Also not going to have tables at wedding breakfast as believe that there shouldn't be a hierarchy-for us, all guests are equally as important as one another ☺

My dad walked with me into the registry office and to the front but there was no who gives this woman part in my vows. It was important to him so he walked me but we omitted the "giving away" part from the vows.

I care more about him than about making a statement by saying he couldn't do it. I saw it as him wanting to support me and be part of the wedding. I was happy to give him that 30 second moment.

Didn't need walking down an aisle by anyone I walked with my groom. But I didn't do church that would be very fake of me - I'm not a believer so it was a registry office - a lovely one too.

I am nobody's chattel and so I have no intention of being given by any man to any other man. The idea of being walked down the aisle and given away makes my skin itch.

I have a poor relationship with my dad so my mum expects to walk me. I want to walk alone.

I am so disappointed!!!!
Click on this thread expecting a million piss taking geography based jokes ..... what has happened to Mumsnet?

No way would I have allowed anyone to give me to anyone. Least of all my useless, neglectful father.

Me and DH walked down the aisle together. We also arrived together. Registry office.

Outdated and sexist.

Walking down the aisle together is lovely. Fitting tribute to starting married life together, as equals.

“It says nothing about my feminist credentials. It says I love my dad.l”

More than your Mum? Why couldn’t your Mum walk with you?

Likewise cptartapp why did it have to be a man, your brother, to walk with you? Why not your Mum?

And those who wanted their Dad with them because they felt nervous, the same question?

And why can’t the groom also walk down the aisle?

Watching what happens in gay weddings exactly points to where het weddings are sexist and patriarchal. The whole structure of the tradition is based on sexist principles. The man (as an adult with his adult friend, not with his parents, he is not after all a child...) waiting for the woman who “is walked”, I. E is the object of the sentence, she is passive, she “is walked “ rather than “walking”. Men make speeches, the groom, best man, father of the bride... men talk ABOUT the woman etc etc.

Fine, choose to take part as it is “ traditional “ but you are not making a feminist choice by doing so.

“piss taking geography based jokes ..... what has happened to ”

Haha, same here

Yes.

Not sure where the ‘gotcha you hypocrit’ glee is coming from. Would have thought most women who see the sexism in asking a father for his daughter’s hand also see the sexism in being given away.

My dad is no longer with us, and I was thinking the other day how nice it was that he walked me down the aisle, and that we really enjoyed the 30 minute ride in a 1925 Rolls Royce.

I had a traditional church wedding, my dad gave me away and I took my husband's name. I think people who know me would laugh very hard at you if you thought I was an oppressed woman or a surrendered wife.

I dislike it too. I like the idea of both parents walking with both the groom and the bride personally.

OP, has the misogynist, women-as-chattels origin of this ‘tradition’ literally only just occurred to you?

Sometimes I wonder how some posters tie their own shoelaces and hold down jobs.

It takes a bit of Isle of Mull to get to Isle of Man.

let the haters hate.

Please tell me the schools go back today so the kids can get off MN and go and do some work?

Fair point, TheOnlyLiving.

incey plain and simple my DM didn't want to be the centre of attention in that way. She wanted to see me walking down the aisle from afar. I have no sisters, only one brother and thought it might strengthen our bond. I didn't overthink it any further than that.

My brother walked me down the aisle 30 years ago as our father was dead. There was no mention of giving me away.