Totally agree, it is tragic. I'm late 40s and have seen so many women now utterly shafted by the institution of marriage. The problem as I see it is it gives a false sense of security. All these women that say oh I'm happy to stay at home now I'm married or have a "little job" as he goes out and earns the big bucks. Have no idea where the money is. Don't know the internet banking passwords etc. Then are devastated when they hit 50 and the bloke trades them in for younger model/girl at work/girl on the internet/decides he s really a women. Messy divorce ensure where of course he has hidden all the money and the poor woman is left to pick up the pieces and try and learn to be financially self sufficient in middle age - not easy. Not to mention the frankly obcence cost of getting divorced. Far better to choose to be finacially self sufficient from the day you left home imo, and for me a big part of that was not getting married.
This pattern is getting less common, I hope and there are of course good men out there who wouldnt behave like that and good marriages. But christ Ive seen this enough times now. As well as younger women getting shafted by their 'self employed" husbands earlier on, who claim to earn a pittance for CSA purposes but are driving flash cars and going out on tinder dates with hidden money. Their wives left trapped at home with very young children, desperately trying to find work that gives them.any income after childcare after being out of the workplace for years because he promised to do all the providing but is now shagging someone from the gym/work/cycling club, where he spent all his time. Reduced to doing minimum wage jobs or getting caught up in crappy MLM scams like Forever Living. Or the women whose husbands become feckless idiots once married and cant work due to depression/bad back/alcohol/drugs, leaving the woman to run themselves into the ground doing all work and childcare, but still expecting a divorce payout, as is the case with a friend of mine currently. I went to the big, expensive wedding 6 years ago and now she married to an AWOL addict with 2 tiny children and only hears from him in letters demanding money.
I know this is a very cynical view and not all marriages will be like this. But enough will to make it seem like a mugs game to me. My partner and I have joint finances, which I control. I have a career, as does he. If we spilt, there's no costly divorce, no hidden assets. We have mutual wills. Property in joint names. The only disadvantage I can see is that I wouldnt get a state widows pension in the event of his death and we cant transfer assets for IHT purposes. I dont want or need a widows pension and anyway, why should I get one when Ive always worked? I have a private pension. The IHT thing can be mitigated by IHT planning.
But that for me is enough to answer the question that the OP is puzzled about - why many women choose not to get married.