You shouldn't raise your hands to adult daughter?

[sarahsuncl]

This morning I was pretty flustered and went to my dads to see him.
I'm 34.
Anyway checked my bag and couldn't find my purse.
Started to panic and was getting stressed.
We both leave to pop to mine to see if it's there and he starts with his usual name calling.
"You've never grown up,don't know what your doing,sort your life out"
I was stressed so snapped back "mind your business"
He was carrying his newspaper and went to hit me on the face with it.
This was in the street.
I'm a grown woman.
Pissed off tbh
Found my purse

Not on at ALL. Did he always hit you? When was the last time?

You shouldn't raise your hand to your child full stop.

Are you ok op?

Are you alright? That's appalling.

You should''t raise your hands to anyone.

However, my father use to 'cuff' me round the head if I said something sarcastic/stupid and I know he meant it to be joke, it always hurt way more that he realised.

Was it that sort of thing, or did he full on go to whack you?

He went to do it but didn't actually do it.
He's always been the same

I'm 29 and my dad still hits me

Always has done, I expect he always will

You'll get lots of "go NC" but sadly that isn't always an option

You’re 29 and your dad hits you?

Yes. You really can go NC.

Or take a rounders bat inside your coat and smash his knee cap in retaliation.

Did people miss the 'with a newspaper'?

It is an option to go NC. Just a difficult one for many.

There is no excuse for hitting regardless of age.

That’s awful, OP.

Did people miss the 'with a newspaper'?

What difference does that make?

He insults you and hits you. Keep your contact limited or cut him off. I actually think it's worse to raise your hands to a child and sounds like he's done this all your life.

Sometimes it isn’t an option to go NC? Fluggers, are you still living at home? Because there are options, from family counselling to police warnings.

Fluggers cutting an abusive person (either physically or emotionally) out of your life is alwats an option, even if it is a parent.

My mother once said that if she hadn't believed me about something I was falsely accused of doing when I was thirteen, she would have felt compelled to physically punish me.

Her face was a picture when I said it was a very good thing she had believed me, because I would have belted her right back, and a hell of a lot harder. Or pressed charges. And I would have.

No one should think they can physically assault another person without consequences.

why would any one keep in contact with someone who abuses them like this ? even if you are a carer you don't put up with this, there is nothing to stop you handing it over to gp, social services etc to deal with and walking away.

So he mimed a frustrated whack with a newspaper because you lost your keys?
What a drama queen you are!! That is not what raising his hand to you means!

And so the minimising of violence towards a woman begins eh. He went to hit the OP on the face with an object but on this occasion stopped himself.

I obviously missed the part where Dana was actually there to witness what happened...

Fluggers if your df actually hits you, do what Blue skies says! Give him such a hard whack that he never does it again! Seriously!

When you say ' he's always been the same' - has he always gone to hit you but not actually, or has he previously actually hit you? Does he stop, like its just a threatening action, or do you have to duck/block the hit?

Agree, Laguna. I was a child in the 60s. My parents would hit with their hands, hairbrush or a shoe. Or on occasion, when she was out of control, my mother would hit you with whatever came to hand. Maybe a newspaper, maybe not.

It doesn't matter. Continually threatening someone with assault is just as bad as actually hitting them, it has the same effect.

"So he mimed a frustrated whack with a newspaper because you lost your keys?
What a drama queen you are!! That is not what raising his hand to you means!"

What do you think would happen if a teacher did that towards a child in school?

*"So he mimed a frustrated whack with a newspaper because you lost your keys?
What a drama queen you are!! That is not what raising his hand to you means!"

What do you think would happen if a teacher did that towards a child in school?*

But they were not in school so your point is completely irrelevant.