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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend dropped my baby

174 replies

katers85 · 26/04/2019 04:17

I had a play date today at my house for my three year old, with another friend and her three year old. We were all sitting on the sofa. She asked to cuddle my 4 month old baby while I went to get cookies for the older kids.
When I walked back into the room, she lost her grip on my baby and baby fell from her arm onto the sofa. Luckily baby was uninjured and swiftly picked back up. Friend said she had wriggled and sort of laughed it off and said sorry. She had baby in upright position, over her shoulder, I think with one hand low on body and I don’t feel she could have been supporting her particularly well, I was out of the room for maybe one minute and was stood at doorway when it happened.
I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was a bit shocked. I now feel guilty for putting my daughter in that position and wonder if I should have said more. Do I just accept it was an accident or should I say more ? I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been and can’t help but feel responsible.

OP posts:

PeapodBurgundy · 27/04/2019 20:13

I was so close to dropping DD in the dish bowl once, that she actually had soap suds on the beck of her head. These things can happen in a split second.

Aridane · 27/04/2019 21:29

gasped with horror when I read this,

Don’t suppose you’ve been to Rome recently CharlotteLV. Tour of the Sistine Chapel maybe?

Best comment on the thread!

LaraLondon1 · 27/04/2019 22:50

I can see how you were a bit freaked by this . People do ask to hold / cuddle babies all the time and don’t consider the mums anxieties .
On the other side , many years ago my cousin asked me to hold their baby at the Christening. The child nearly fell from my hands as the robe was so silky/ loose I didn’t have a proper hold . I got such a shock I didn’t want to hold another baby for about 17 years .. until I had my own. Don’t give ur friend a hard time . She’ll be beating herself up anyway :(

fashiondevotee · 27/04/2019 22:52

She might have laughed out of nervousness or awkwardness. I do that a lot.

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 27/04/2019 23:06

poster fashiondevotee Sat 27-Apr-19 22:52:35
She might have laughed out of nervousness or awkwardness. I do that a lot.

I agree with this.

It really isn’t a big deal.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 27/04/2019 23:26

I thought you were going to say she dropped your baby whist standing up/walking along.

Always remember ds led on the bed, I was putting make up on, them I heard a bump and turned around, ds was no longer on the bed. That was the day I found out he could roll over!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/04/2019 23:26

I think you are over-reacting a bit, under these circumstances - I would expect your friend to have held onto your baby more securely if she was standing on a hard floor, for e.g.

If you want really scary, I can tell you about a friend of mine whose DC was in a bumbo on a kitchen bench, managed to wriggle their way out of it and fell to the floor. No harm done except to my friend's nerves! But it could have been very nasty if the baby had fallen on their head, for e.g. - now that's worth worrying about.

yumyumpoppycat · 27/04/2019 23:33

Def let it go. It was a very small accident and your baby had a soft landing, also 4 month olds are pretty wriggly and can be rolling and getting themselves into all sorts of funny positions anyway.

yumyumpoppycat · 27/04/2019 23:36

also how can you feel responsible, are you not going to let anyone else hold your baby? it's going to be pretty tricky especially when you also have a 3 year old.

fullprice · 28/04/2019 00:13

I would be very upset if I dropped my baby. I felt awful when he threw himself off the bed when I got distracted. In some ways it would be worse if I dropped someone else’s baby than my own. I would feel awful.
I would count myself lucky if it had just been a short drop onto a soft sofa. But I would feel awful that I lost control etc regardless:

I can understand a nervous laugh coming out but I would call later/ the next day as it would play on my mind. And I would make it clear that I felt very bad, and that I took the safety of their baby very seriously

If someone dropped my baby/ it slipped from their arms onto a sofa and they didn’t feel awful then I would not feel comfortable letting them hold my baby ever Again:

I can totally understand it happening and would forgive it, of course. But it’s the reaction of your friend, the lack of taking it seriously, that would worry me

steff13 · 28/04/2019 04:46

I wouldn't have liked this, what if she had been standing.

What if she'd spontaneously combusted and the baby wasn't wearing flame retardant clothing?!

She wasn't standing, or riding a unicycle, or attacked by bears. The baby slipped out of her hands and feel a few inches into a soft surface. It's a non-event.

Alicewond · 28/04/2019 04:56

Is the baby damaged as a result, are you looking for compensation? I know a few lawyers who may help, no win no fee type.... 😂

louderthan · 28/04/2019 06:09

This is why I don't hold babies. If anyone tries to give me one I put my hands behind my back 😂

littlestlily · 28/04/2019 12:10

Sorry, not about the post, but what happened in the Sistine chapel??

Procrastination4 · 28/04/2019 12:19

Someone was there with her partner/husband and couldn’t stop screaming at the beauty of the ceiling to the embarrassment of her partner/husband. It was a funny thread!
Re. baby dropping-that’s why I rarely look to hold a baby unless it’s a newborn as they are far too wriggly!

Procrastination4 · 28/04/2019 12:23

DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

Don’t know how to do a link but this was the thread.

Starstruck2020 · 28/04/2019 13:27

I can see where you’re coming from. My MIL was holding my baby, I left the room for a few minutes (DD would have been around 9 months), and she put her down on the sofa for some reason. DD fell off. She was ok but I’m still annoyed, and DD is now 11. I don’t mention it or think about it often but it makes me wary of her. They don’t live near by so we hardly see them so I can forget about it but it would have made me very nervous when the DC were toddlers if she lived closer.

goldenchicken · 28/04/2019 14:18

Ooooh 'ello! You're famous @katers85

uk.yahoo.com/style/woman-left-shocked-friend-dropped-baby-085732300.html

Drewsie · 28/04/2019 17:05

She fell a few inches onto the sofa. No big deal, accidents happen with kids and i agree with a couple of people above, nerves can cause laughs.

littlestlily · 28/04/2019 20:20

Screaming at the Michelangelo !!! 🤣🤣
Sorry not thread related , but that is fantastic!
Back to topic, I get where you’re coming from op, I’ve always felt that way about my babies, I’m sure she felt awful though.

Alicewond · 29/04/2019 00:57

Well at least your famous, as in on yahoo news now 😂

Raggerty54 · 29/04/2019 01:07

My son is 4 months and I would be screaming inside if someone did that. I’m nervous and overly careful when holding other people’s babies. I wouldn’t appreciate a lax attitude towards my own. Yes, he landed on the sofa by luck but he could have face planted the floor...you have to hold their backs at that age because they push and wriggle.

StoppinBy · 29/04/2019 01:37

I wouldn't say anymore this time but if she were to hold the baby again I would without a doubt remind her how to support baby properly.

Personally I would rather look like a paranoid, overprotective Mum than have my child hurt when I could have prevented it.

I don't think she meant to do it but it wasn't an accident in my mind either, if you hold a baby you do it securely or you don't do it at all.

Trebla · 29/04/2019 05:30

My friend let my son roll of a changing table in a public loo into a hard floor. That was 8 years ago. We laugh about it. I wasn't even that bothered at the time once I'd ascertained he was fine. Shit happens.

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