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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend dropped my baby

174 replies

katers85 · 26/04/2019 04:17

I had a play date today at my house for my three year old, with another friend and her three year old. We were all sitting on the sofa. She asked to cuddle my 4 month old baby while I went to get cookies for the older kids.
When I walked back into the room, she lost her grip on my baby and baby fell from her arm onto the sofa. Luckily baby was uninjured and swiftly picked back up. Friend said she had wriggled and sort of laughed it off and said sorry. She had baby in upright position, over her shoulder, I think with one hand low on body and I don’t feel she could have been supporting her particularly well, I was out of the room for maybe one minute and was stood at doorway when it happened.
I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was a bit shocked. I now feel guilty for putting my daughter in that position and wonder if I should have said more. Do I just accept it was an accident or should I say more ? I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been and can’t help but feel responsible.

OP posts:

Hecateh · 26/04/2019 10:16

I dropped my son when he was about 3 or 4 months old. He was screaming and suddenly arched his back and fell out of my arms. I was walking round trying to soothe him at the time so he fell all the way to the floor on his head. Absolute silence for a second or 2 (felt like hours) and then started screaming even louder. I was absolutely devastated and was crying myself. It's over 40 years ago now and he's just as loud and gorgeous as ever - though not so demanding these days lol.
I never dropped him again and I never dropped my daughter. These things don't happen to every parent with every child but they definitely happen and very very rarely is any harm done. Babies, generally are tough little things.

OhGood · 26/04/2019 10:21

Oh I totally understand the 'God what could have happened' horrors. (Personally, I was an anxious mum to a newborn and it was SO hard fighting the instinct to just have baby wrapped up in cotton wool. Still quite hard, she is 9 now and fiercely independent.)

Main thing is to not let this make you too worried about letting other people hold your baby.

azulmariposa · 26/04/2019 10:24

She didn't throw your baby onto a hard, tiled floor from a great height, it was slipping onto a sofa from a height of a couple of feet.
It was an accident, and you need to have some perspective.

Hannahmates · 26/04/2019 10:58

It's an accident but I wouldn't let her hold the baby anymore.

Aprillygirl · 26/04/2019 10:59

Accidents happen. Friend apologised,baby wasn't harmed,get over it.

Original poster

katers85 · 26/04/2019 11:06

Just to clarify a few things.
I think most people are shocked when their child is dropped/slips etc ? I don’t think I’m being dramatic. Doesn’t everyone stop until they establish child is ok etc ?
I don’t necessarily think I should have said anything else but just wondered if others would have let it slide ? More out of curiosity.
Yes maybe I sounded a bit dramatic when I said thinking about what else could have happened but I think sometimes as a mother you’re a little harder on yourself. I’m not thinking about it anymore, it was just fresh in my mind and I feel friend could have been more careful but I appreciate these things happen and will move on. I don’t think she laughed maliciously, it was obviously a nervous laugh.

OP posts:

Ghanagirl · 26/04/2019 11:09

My mum dropped my son onto our wooden floor from sofa whilst putting him into his snowsuit.
It was an accident but I remember silently fuming.

bethy15 · 26/04/2019 11:10

Was she seated on the sofa as your first post said?

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 26/04/2019 11:13

I think you are being a bit ott sorry.The baby wasn't injured and it was a settee.Accidents happen.

AllTheFours44 · 26/04/2019 11:18

You’re overreacting, OP. This too shall pass.

MyFavouriteDress1 · 26/04/2019 11:36

You need to calm down. Baby fell onto the sofa. She's not going to die from that!!!

contrary13 · 26/04/2019 11:37

When I was 7 months old, my mother was standing in our hallway, on a flagstone floor, holding me with one arm under my bottom. Allegedly, she tickled me, I wriggled, she dropped me... and I landed face first, breaking my nose and blackening both of my eyes.

I have no lasting damage from this. As others have said, your baby landed on the sofa, not the floor (if it was the floor, you'd have reason to be unreasonably furious with your friend), and your friend apologised. Her laughter might have been a nervous tic' (my son, for example, giggles whenever he's nervous or thinks he's in trouble).

Accidents happen, babies are tougher than people seem to think they are, and your friend almost certainly didn't mean to drop your baby.

, though, because I get how shocked you must be; thinking the worst might have happened... but it didn't. Your baby's fine and your friend's probably just as shocked and upset about having dropped the little one, as you are.

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney · 26/04/2019 11:59

Oh god some of these anecdotes are terrible! I keep shuddering!

englishdictionary · 26/04/2019 12:01

I don’t think I’m being dramatic.

You are.

Doesn’t everyone stop until they establish child is ok etc ?

Of course, but they don't post on Mumsnet about it the next day asking if they should accept it as an accident. Because after the initial stop and realise child is fine, that's it.

ethelfleda · 26/04/2019 12:06

I agree, this is really minimal. She didn’t throw her down the stairs!

youknowmedontyou · 26/04/2019 12:09

It's an accident but I wouldn't let her hold the baby anymore.

If you had a small car accident, reversed into a post no real harm, would you stop driving?

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 26/04/2019 12:13

OP - many people on this threads are mothers. You seem to think that we're not - but you are and thus that makes you're thinking the right response.

The baby 'fell' from a seated adult on to the sofa. Less than a foot? On to a soft landing?

It is really and truly no big deal.

Drogosnextwife · 26/04/2019 12:16

The baby fell onto the couch and if your friend was sitting down at the time then I can't actually see why you thought the baby could be injuried. People are a bit more lax with sitting on soft surfaces, it's very unlikely she would have dropped your baby while standing.
Massive over reaction. I have no idea what you would possibly text or phone and say to her at this point.

Pigsinduvets · 26/04/2019 12:24

OP has not said she thinks those commenting are not Mothers or that she has had the ‘right’ response. She is entitled to her thoughts and feelings about her own child. She’s entitled to come on to mumsnet to seek reassurance and gauge opinions. However, given the wave of undue criticism on this thread I’d be surprised if she ever reaches out to other mothers ever again. Another mumsnetter alienated.

Jinglejanglefish · 26/04/2019 12:28

Gasped in horror😂😂

DD would definitely have found it funny, 4 month olds are very different from tiny newborns. It really is a non event.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 26/04/2019 12:32

Pigs or an anxious mother reassured that she doesn't need to beat herself up about this.

Chippychipsforme · 26/04/2019 12:40

She fell on to a sofa, it's a cushioned landing, it's fine. She'll be on the move soon and bashing into things left, right and centre as I'm sure your older child did.

Pigsinduvets · 26/04/2019 12:41

Weeping...If she felt reassured by the critical comments then why did she feel the need to defend herself in her last post? Because she’s being attacked. Your post was not reassuring.

CheeseIsEverything · 26/04/2019 16:32

However, given the wave of undue criticism on this thread I’d be surprised if she ever reaches out to other mothers ever again

I don't think this is particularly true. Most posters have just said she's being overly sensitive and to let it go.

Posters don't have to agree with an OP and just because the majority of posters don't doesn't make it an 'attack'.

MsLayla · 26/04/2019 16:46

Baby was dropped accidentally. Landed on a soft sofa. Was unhurt.

Why are you making this into a big deal. Baby is fine.

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