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Original poster

Friend dropped my baby

174 replies

katers85 · 26/04/2019 04:17

I had a play date today at my house for my three year old, with another friend and her three year old. We were all sitting on the sofa. She asked to cuddle my 4 month old baby while I went to get cookies for the older kids.
When I walked back into the room, she lost her grip on my baby and baby fell from her arm onto the sofa. Luckily baby was uninjured and swiftly picked back up. Friend said she had wriggled and sort of laughed it off and said sorry. She had baby in upright position, over her shoulder, I think with one hand low on body and I don’t feel she could have been supporting her particularly well, I was out of the room for maybe one minute and was stood at doorway when it happened.
I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was a bit shocked. I now feel guilty for putting my daughter in that position and wonder if I should have said more. Do I just accept it was an accident or should I say more ? I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been and can’t help but feel responsible.

OP posts:
LuvSmallDogs · 26/04/2019 18:40

I dropped 6 week old DS1 when I fell down some hard wooden stairs, had to have him in hospital all day for observation as he hit his head. Now, that’s the kind of fall you don’t laugh off. I still trust myself with my kids (and friends trust me with theirs), because accidents happen. And yes, afterwards you can pick it apart and beat yourself up about having a tighter grip, and so on. But you will drive yourself mad if you do it too often.

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney · 26/04/2019 23:52

Posters won't have to agree but the majority of the replies are irritating in the extreme as well as irrelevant and deliberately unhelpful. The OP has said what happened, what on earth is the point of about a million posters coming on to list the things that could have been worse? It's not like she was thrown on a stone floor etc etc etc.... Well no 🙄 nobody is saying it is and that would obviously be a very different situation more suited to calling 999 than posting on mumsnet. The OP has clearly said what happened and that she's upset about it, I don't see the value of people pointing out that the baby wasn't set on fire / beheaded etc.

Rosesaredead · 27/04/2019 00:48

No, you shouldn't have said more. It was an accident and the baby wasn't hurt. Just don't let her hold her in future if you're worried.

SpaceCadet4000 · 27/04/2019 01:19

Your friend was probably only holding her this way because she was sat on the sofa anyway. It's no big deal, it's not like she turned a blind eye and your daughter rolled off the sofa or something.

Yogagirl123 · 27/04/2019 17:45

Understandable to be upset, I would have been too Flowers. Can’t believe she laughed, it she can’t hold a 4mth old baby safely, that in my experience aren’t wriggly at that age. I hope she doesn’t ask to hold anyone else’s baby. All those on here that think you have over reacted might feel differently if it was their baby!

bridgetreilly · 27/04/2019 17:54

The only thing shocking to me in the OP's post is that she has an older child, so this isn't a pfb.

Your baby wasn't hurt, everything is fine, move on.

TigerTooth · 27/04/2019 17:57

My sister had my baby son on her hip in the pool on holiday (20yrs ago) and was chatting to aunt - also in pool - and they were slowly edging deeper. My DS was spluttering with is mouth totally submerged when she realised. She told me recently!!!
No harm done thankfully.
Let it go. If the sofa hadn’t been there she would probably have been more guarded in her grip.

contrary13 · 27/04/2019 18:04

"It's not like she was thrown on a stone floor etc etc etc"

Babydarling, I sense this was aimed at me... I wasn't thrown. I was dropped - accidentally, I might add. My anecdote was purely recounted in an effort to reassure the OP that - quite frankly - it could have been a lot worse. I survived. 40 odd years ago. Her baby will survive. Thousands of other babies who have been accidentally dropped have, because they're wriggly little blighters who catch us all unawares at times. Babies can, and will be, dropped. Babies wriggle. Should the OP's friend be posting on here about how traumatised she is about having dropped a baby?! It happens. The infant landed softly, on a sofa, for crying out loud...

I landed on a stone floor.

I survived.

Get over yourself.

poppy54321 · 27/04/2019 18:07

I wouldn't have liked this, what if she had been standing. Doesn't bear thinking about. Plus when I hold other peoples babies I am ridiculously careful, surely most people are. My daughter used to lunge backwards as a baby and had to be supported high on her back. I hated it when people didn't hold her right. You aren't responsible at all, people hand babies round all the time, sometimes to children. If she wants to cuddle baby again though I'd be sat by her watching like a hawk, and just laugh it off as being overprotective/separation anxiety or whatever if anyone said anything.

Jogonandshutup · 27/04/2019 18:08

I bet she felt awful - accidents happen and she didn’t do it on purpose. Baby is unharmed - just leave it 👍🏻

poppy54321 · 27/04/2019 18:10

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney Brilliant!

ScreamingLadySutch · 27/04/2019 18:17

Please don't make an issue of this.

Your friend is probably feeling terrible, and babies are tougher than they look.

MrPickles73 · 27/04/2019 18:18

I think you are over reacting. A friend of ours picked up our daughter who was 2 and dropped her from about 4.5ft head first onto a tiled floor. That's when you have to worry...

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/04/2019 18:19

DD was a bugger for this. Snuggly, calm, sweet then BAM pushing out of your arms with all her strength, arms and legs. It's a miracle she's alive.

greenpop21 · 27/04/2019 18:22

Thank goodness no harm was done. Think twice before letting her hold your baby again. I always take extra care of other people's babies. I think you are more in tune with your own and get to know their weight and movements.

ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 27/04/2019 18:24

I’m amazed at so many “meh” responses here!
The baby was on the friend’s shoulder and did not slither down the sofa, she fell onto the sofa.
If it’s because friend was holding her too low down then it basically means her head travelled an arc of over 90% from a height of, well, just over her height!
Yes, the sofa is not made of stone but equally it’s made to stand it’s ground against up to 20 stone super firm or wobbly bodies. It’s not a cloud!
How many of you would happily be pushed off the arm of your sofa onto it with no warning and not bother putting an arm out to shield your head/face?
I fully understand your upset OP Flowers and would not be leaving friend holding baby again for sure x

Aragog · 27/04/2019 18:25

What kind of distance are we really talking here?

Im currently sat on the sofa. It really isn't that far from my shoulder to the cushion. And I assume a slip from there to the sofa isn't going to be a problem for your average 4 month old surely? Many this age fall not much further this all the time when they are learning to sit up around this age, and in couple of months when starting to stand and pull themselves up.

Womble351 · 27/04/2019 18:36

I dropped my newborn from my arms onto the floor and I didn’t notice
I’d fallen asleep exhausted while feeding her and she had slipped onto the floor I only noticed when I woke and she was fast asleep(not unconscious)with the dog sitting protectively next to her

bethy15 · 27/04/2019 19:00

The baby was on the friend’s shoulder and did not slither down the sofa, she fell onto the sofa.

My height is 5'10, I'm sitting on my sofa now, from my shoulder to the arm of the sofa is a couple of inches.

The baby moved from the shoulder to the sofa, it's not a big deal, it's not a deal at all!

Echobelly · 27/04/2019 19:23

I think friend was only making light of it as clearly no harm had been done and she didn't want to worry you - I'd probably have done the same, not through not caring but through not wanting to make a big deal.

GlitterNails · 27/04/2019 19:25

Dropping someone’s baby is always a fear of mine as for health reasons I can be pretty clumsy. I’ve held a lot of babies though and never have - but if I did I might let out a laugh which would actually really be awkward nervous fear - not a real laugh, so please don’t judge her for that! She probably feels awful about it.

Inapickle230 · 27/04/2019 19:37

My baby fell off the bed when she was about 6 months, she was absolutely unharmed but it stayed on my mind for ages. I’m sure your friend was upset about it and just tried to laugh it off nervously.

All I can say is please don’t dwell on it, I drive myself mad thinking about near misses and I think it was possibly post partum anxiety. Your baby is fine and that’s all that matters, try and put it out of your head now and don’t mention it to your friend as she may well be mortified about what she did anyway.

Marshmallow91 · 27/04/2019 19:45

After giving birth to the my little girl a few months ago, my partner essentially left me to do everything, and I hadn't slept in 3 days because I was terrified of putting her down. I ended up falling asleep while upright in bed, and woke up leaning over the bed, as she had wiggled loose her blanket and ended up falling about 3 inches onto the floor. I cried for 3 solid hours at how much of a failure I was, but other than a short cry from being startled awake, she was absolutely fine. I now manage sleeping a lot better now she's older but I spent weeks with the "what ifs" in my head and felt terrible.

But these things happen. Yes, your friend should have held your baby more securely, but there's nothing that can be done now, other than avoiding letting her hold them again unsupervised.

Babies are precious little things, but they are also (thankfully) pretty robust.

Lovebeingamummy2 · 27/04/2019 20:00

OP you are not overreacting when you hold someone else's baby you should be even more careful than what you are with your own I can be an over protective parent (of my own admission) of my children and I'm even more so with other people's

Lizzie48 · 27/04/2019 20:00

This sounds like a non event, a 4 month wriggling our of the OP’s friend’s arms and falling on the sofa (can’t have been more than a foot). And yet some PPs would have you throw away a friendship over this.

Just remember, some posters simply like the idea of a drama filled thread, it isn’t their life so it’s no odds to them if you lose a friendship that you value.