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Original poster

Friend dropped my baby

174 replies

katers85 · 26/04/2019 04:17

I had a play date today at my house for my three year old, with another friend and her three year old. We were all sitting on the sofa. She asked to cuddle my 4 month old baby while I went to get cookies for the older kids.
When I walked back into the room, she lost her grip on my baby and baby fell from her arm onto the sofa. Luckily baby was uninjured and swiftly picked back up. Friend said she had wriggled and sort of laughed it off and said sorry. She had baby in upright position, over her shoulder, I think with one hand low on body and I don’t feel she could have been supporting her particularly well, I was out of the room for maybe one minute and was stood at doorway when it happened.
I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was a bit shocked. I now feel guilty for putting my daughter in that position and wonder if I should have said more. Do I just accept it was an accident or should I say more ? I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been and can’t help but feel responsible.

OP posts:
HildaAlida · 26/04/2019 08:34

This is why I never accept an invitation to hold a baby.

I do have a goddaughter though...I was playing with her once and managed to playfully swoop her so low that I bumped her head on the table. I could've cried I was so mortified but the parents (good friends) shrugged it off. The baby is now a robust 13 year old.

But I still won't hold a baby.

Flamingosnbears · 26/04/2019 08:38

She really shouldn't have laughed it off, your right it could have been worse but luckily it wasn't move on and if she asks to hold baby again say not after last time.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 26/04/2019 08:41

I'm not surprised you're upset by thinking what could have happened, i.e., baby could have fallen to the floor and been injured. The friend clearly wasn't holding the baby firmly enough. I don't think it's something to lose the friendship over as she has apologised and baby wasn't hurt, but I don't think I'd be leaving her holding the baby again without supervision any time soon. For those people saying 'these things happen' most people's handle other people's babies with extreme care because they are absolutely terrified of dropping them!

NewPapaGuinea · 26/04/2019 08:42

Laughing was a response to guilt and relief that she wasn’t injured.

bethy15 · 26/04/2019 08:44

I wonder how the people who 'gasp in horror' at a 4 month year old falling a foot onto a sofa cope with day to day life

I was thinking that, but then there's another thread on here with people gasping in horror at sharing toothpaste (something designed to be shared) with family and friends, and some even with their OH.

I do wonder how some people function day to day. I thought I had certain issues......

PerfectPeony2 · 26/04/2019 08:44

Oh dear. I’m sure she was mortified and wanted to laugh it off.

Don’t worry. I remember when my baby first got hurt- she was about the same age and rolled off the bed. I was so upset, rushed her to the doctors and phoned my DH crying. The second time she rolled off the bed.. it was bad but I was calm and accepted it was an accident.

She’s almost 10 months old now and is particularly wriggly so is quite accident prone. If someone else was holding her and she fell I wouldn’t blame them.

It gets easier as they get older and you will probably relax more (and I consider myself a bit of a helicopter parent!)

SammySamSam09 · 26/04/2019 08:44

Oh give over this is ridiculous. The baby is not a new born and it barely fell any distance onto a sofa.
My DC would have laughed if that had happened as they would have thought it a game.
I would and have said "slippery aren't they?" And my friend and I would have laughed. That's it. No nightmares or gasps of horror. No friendships broken or tears being cried. It's a total non event.

JaneDoe8000 · 26/04/2019 08:45

"When I walked back into the room, she lost her grip on my baby and baby fell from her arm onto the sofa. Luckily baby was uninjured and swiftly picked back up."
It's good she wasn't injured.

"Friend said she had wriggled and sort of laughed it off and said sorry."
That's probably what happened then.

"She had baby in upright position, over her shoulder, I think with one hand low on body and I don’t feel she could have been supporting her particularly well,"
But you chose not to say anything, and this is what happened? Don't let her hold her next time.

"I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was a bit shocked."
You shou

"I now feel guilty for putting my daughter in that position and wonder if I should have said more."
Probably, but nothing terrible happened anyway.

"Do I just accept it was an accident or should I say more?"
Yes, just accept it. What else can you say? 'Don't drop my daughter on the sofa by accident in the future'?

"I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been and can’t help but feel responsible."
That's not going to achieve much. Just remember for the future and move on with your life.

TurquoiseAndPurple · 26/04/2019 08:50

I'm sure she will be super careful whenever she holds yours or anyone else's baby from now on! It's probably safer than ever now to have her hold the baby 😂

My OH dropped our baby a couple inches when she wriggled out of his arms as he went to pick her up off the changing mat. She was absolutely fine as she barely fell. But he was so shook up and soooooo much more careful from then on!

Mistakes happen. Your friend had a 3 year old so she's not exactly new to the Mum thing.

Ginger1982 · 26/04/2019 08:50

Ok, you need to calm down. It was an accident. My son rolled off the couch into the floor when he was 3 months old. I was so upset but he was totally fine. Your situation sounds even less concerning.

Thesearmsofmine · 26/04/2019 08:53

It sounds a bit of a non event really. I wouldn’t fret over it anymore OP.

Wheresthebeach · 26/04/2019 09:09

So the baby fell onto a soft surface and was fine?

Stop catastrophizing other scenario's or you will make yourself crazy.

I once slipped on the stairs carrying DD and she bounced to the bottom while I fell. Phoned the GP in a panic, they came round to check. Not on DD who was wailing the house down, but on me as I was whispering and breathing shallow due to the rib pain...no stocking feet on the stairs is still the 'new rule' due to that accident. DD is 14 now...

Surfskatefamily · 26/04/2019 09:20

Id try not to get angry...best not let her hold baby again tho. The giggling probably was nerves, i do that sometimes if im feeling akward

goldenchicken · 26/04/2019 09:31

@katers85

When I read the thread title, I thought you were going to say that she dropped your baby onto the concrete from 4 feet up, and she landed on her head!

Baby slipped from her grip onto the couch, a few inches down, and was quickly retrieved. You are being a bit OTT sorry OP.

Understandable when you are a new mum and your baby is tiny. Makes you very jumpy and over protective. Don't worry about it, but don't be hard on your mate, and don't let anyone hold your baby if you're that spooked!

AlexaAmbidextra · 26/04/2019 09:44

Dropping a 4 month old baby from shoulder height to a sofa doesn't sound like a 'these things happen' sort of thing.

So you think the friend body-slammed the child on to the sofa? Of course these things just happen. 🙄

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney · 26/04/2019 09:46

@KidLorneRoll by not dropping out babies.

ChicCroissant · 26/04/2019 09:58

The OP says in the second line of her post that they were all sitting on the sofa. The baby did not fall from a great height on to a hard surface, it would have been a few inches on to a soft sofa!

OP, I can understand you being protective over your baby but this kind of catastrophic thinking isn't good for you - has this happened before, the catastrophic thinking?

NoBaggyPants · 26/04/2019 09:59

I did a term on traumatic brain injuries in children and just imagined the baby's brain knocking forward and backwards if it bounced on the sofa.

And in things that didn't happen...

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 26/04/2019 10:03

The OP isn’t coming back is she?

TerryWogansWilly · 26/04/2019 10:04

Oh OP. I am guessing this is your first. I am not being patronising, I only guess that because if not you'd have dropped one by now Grin Or let it roll off a couch. Or knock it's head against wall as you walk through a hallway.

Honestly. It's a miracle we're all mostly walking around fine. She's already got an older baby so probably a bit more relaxed about these things and kniws it won't be hurt by that.

Don't worry and don't feel guilty. No harm done.

outsho · 26/04/2019 10:04

She fell onto the sofa so a soft surface and she is absolutely fine. You’re getting het up over nothing and the title is complete hyperbole.

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/04/2019 10:06

You sound a bit over protective tbh, but I am very glad the baby is fine. I still have a small scar beside my eye where I rolled off the sofa as a baby and hit my face off the coffee table - accidents happen! (I was my mums first child and she was probably totally traumatised at the time, but she got over it!)

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 26/04/2019 10:07

It sounds like it was more of a slip and slide out of hold and onto the sofa than a full on drop so I am sure no harm was done. I would have been mortified if I had done this so understand the nervous laughter and apology.

We all have those moments with our DC when something happens, we recover it and later our blood runs cold and we think ‘OMG, What if ......’.

I would let it go. It was an accident, it could happen to anyone and thankfully your baby wasn’t hurt.

englishdictionary · 26/04/2019 10:09

Not gonna lie, the baby was fine, I would probably have laughed with my friend. Nothing happened. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to get wound up over. Nothing.

BastianBux · 26/04/2019 10:09

I dropped my baby cousin off a sofa before. I was in primary school, Year 5/6 maybe, he was sat on my lap sitting up facing me. I think he was at the age of learning to support his own weight and sit. He just arched back all of a sudden and my hands were not ready, I tried to stop it but he just went backwards and banged his head on the floor. Luckily it's not a high sofa and we had thick carpets. Felt awful. Sad

I've also dropped my own baby. She was on the floor but the sofa, wanted cuddling, I stayed sat on the sofa and just bent down to scoop her up with me, but I highly misjudged the weighting situation because when I heaved up with her, I didn't quite make it all the way up and ended up falling face first off the sofa with DD Hmm