To not want daughter going to a wood by herself?

[Vellia]

Dd is 16. We live in a town with lots of countryside/footpaths at close proximity. About a 15 minute walk away from our house, you get to the edge of some farmers’ fields. If you walk down the side of one of these you find yourself in a lovely small wood. At the moment the bluebells are out and it’s absolutely magical.

Over Easter, dd and I have gone for a walk in this wood most mornings before she starts revising (I work in a school so have school holidays off). But in a few weeks’ time she’ll be off school on pre-GCSE study leave while I’ll be working.

She’s said in passing that she’s going to go for a walk in the woods at the start of each day to get herself in the right frame of mind for revision.

I feel rather uncomfortable about this as the wood is a significant distance away from the road & any houses. Definitely out of ear-shot. And the wood is never very busy - we rarely bump into more than one or two people, mostly dog walkers; often it’s entirely empty apart from us.

AIBU to think it would be unwise for dd to go walking there by herself? Would I be unreasonable to tell her she can’t?

I wouldn't be happy about her walking through the wood at the same time every day. Better to vary the routine and also routes.
I'm quite surprised how many people here just walk where they like and when they like without worrying.
It may have been he way I was brought up - the woods in our village were off limit to me as one person had been murdered there and several women had been raped. So yes, I would worry about a 16 year old daughter walking in woods - because of conditioning from my childhood!

OP - I think you should ensure she doesn't set up a regular routine which someone could latch onto.
Also you know your local area better than any of us on mumsnet so are in a better position to judge whether you think it is appropriate for her to walk there alone at all.

"It’s very sad but it really isn’t safe for women on their own to walk anywhere that is deserted, be it an alley way at night or a bluebell wood in the morning."

If you live in a rural area, it's not possible to have a normal life without going through deserted areas.
This post and all the comments are batshit. I can't believe I'm reading them.

I’m with Gwenhwyfar. Most of the ‘no, don’t do it!’ comments are quite mad. I can only assume they are written by urban types who watch too much tv and for whom ‘16 year old walks in woods’ is the opening of a Silent Witness episode or something.

Unfortunately in this day and age people, I wouldn't certainly let my daughter go on her own. A phone can help but doesn't necessarily someone from being attacked. If she makes a routine out of it, and someone with bad intentions notices it, it's even worse because they can plan ahead.
People talking about the low likelihood of something bad happening. There's always a chance when you're putting yourself vulnerable, so why risk it?
Follow your gut instinct because if something happens, you wouldn't forgive yourself.

I’ve been walking dogs on my own in the countryside since I was a child, and even now I’m barely 5ft so probably smaller than your daughter. I have never felt even slightly at risk.

gwenhwyfar & thebulb👏🏻

"People talking about the low likelihood of something bad happening. There's always a chance when you're putting yourself vulnerable, so why risk it? "

Because there's always a chance of something.You probably have a higher chance of choking on your food and dying or of falling down the stairs and injuring yourself. Are you going to stop those things? Stop crossing the road?

As others have said, don't follow your gut, but use your brain.

i love running with friends and also alone. I don't often inform anyone of my route as often i don't even know myself as i step out the door. I love this time of year and often try and squeeze in a bluebell run after work. There is something so tranquil about the bluebell wood, its beautiful, and i don't think i would get the same sense of it if i wasnt alone. The only time i have ever had bother when running alone was when a man tried to attack me outside a very busy tube station in zone 2 (broad daylight, loads of people around)

Making someone paranoid about being alone is the worst thing you can do to them.
Teaching youngsters to be aware of their surroundings and obvious possible dangers, and basic self defence techniques would be good.
My 'little one' is away at Uni in a foreign country and I get occasional 'concern attacks' about her safety. She is sensible and careful.
Maybe I am fortunate but the only people who have been 'bad' (nothing sexual) to me are family members.

I've taught my DDs to do things they want to do and to not be afraid of 'men'. It's safer in the woods than in the town or city.
People will attack in broad daylight and 90% of the time passerbys won't get involved.
Yes, teach girls to be wary, but also to not be afraid.
No wonder later on in life so many women end up afraid to go out by themselves to go anywhere!
I wild camp and will continue to do it as long as I can, even well into my 60s!

SIXTEEN?!
I'm interested to know how people not happy with this would stop their 16 year old going for a walk by themselves in a wood.
I have a nearly 16 year old, who's out and about without me, mummy!
If they want to go out by themselves, they will.
I get anxiety, I really do but you have to learn to let go.
Even if it's hard and crappy.
I'm female and I'm not about to stop and worry about going out alone!
People will be suggesting male guardians with them next (if they haven't already) fuck that lol!

I’m afraid we live in dark times

One of the most depressing things I’ve read on MN in a long time. No, we don’t. Statistically there is no greater chance of anything happening than there would have been 10, 20, 50 years ago. It’s just scaremongering to make comments like this

And in fact the opposite is true: we live in safer than ever times. Less war, less violence against children, less stranger violence.

What we do have is a large amount of fear generated by always on news coverage via digital media. We are now bombarded with all the awful things that could happen to us.

And all this fear leads to people living frightened little lives instead of enjoying the beauty of bluebells. It’s tragic.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/excellent-beauty/201607/is-the-world-more-dangerous-now-ever%3famp

I’m afraid walking in a deserted wood alone is just foolish

Wow. This thread is crazy.

This thread is crazy, I feel sorry for people who live in such fear. Of course she can go for a walk alone, she’s 16 not 6, I’m amazed she’s even telling you really.

By 16 I’d have spent years hanging around in woods, mostly alone with a (non huge, non protective, friendly to strangers) dog. Or walking “deserted” rural roads. Often at the same times. I was in a lot more danger drunk in London coming home from the tube in the years after that as a student and young person.

But if you never experience things, you’ll never hone your skills of risk assessing. That’s why they call it “street smart”. As far as I am aware there’s no equivalent “bluebell wood smart”, presumably for a good reason.

Part of my job involves inspections in woodland- I don’t go alone to remote woods and I’m 46. Yes the risk is very low but not worth it. Can’t a school friend join her?

She’s 16, it’s not really going to make any difference if she’s 16 or 35, there a risk to everything. I walk a lot on my own, often in secluded areas, I’ve never even considered getting jumped on 😐

Really? Never even considered it?

Not aimed at me, but I'm another one who no, never considers "getting jumped on."
If you think like that you'd never want to go anywhere!

My 12 year old goes running through woods and fields by herself.

Download a location app if you want to keep an eye on where she is.

I have walked, camped, hiked alone since I was 14. In mountains , woods, coastal paths. I also get a late bus home and walk late in S London .... like all my friends, colleagues and neighbours do.

In my home village everyone walks along deserted paths, no street lighting.

There is a risk everywhere and anywhere.

But hysteria attaches more to some than others.

Women being canny is resilience.
Women being nervous is debilitating.

I live opposite a remote wood and have often walked in it alone. You rarely see anyone else in there. One day while driving nearby I saw two rough looking men walking across the fields towards the wood. They may have been perfectly innocent but it put me off going in there. I don't think it is safe. My DSis was always worried about me being in there alone.

cashmere the difference is you are with a 🐕 so not really the same thing

YABU.
A 16yo can look after herself- she should know what's safe and what isn't.
Also, the walk and peace most likely helps her mental and physical health - two things which are seriously affecting generation z.

I think you're being overbearingly precious.

Why has she even asked you? Has she never gone to meet friends at a park or something and walked her own route to get there - possibly through a wood? Do you drop her off everywhere?

Bloody hell, my parents must have been the worst ever. At 16, I was wild camping around Scotland hundreds of miles away from home. And you lot don't want a 16 year old to take a stroll through some woodland.

I'm sure she will be fine, make sure she has her phone.

I grew up in the country and spend most of my time in the woods, either riding my horse, climbing trees or swinging from stuff. Best times. Let her make the most of it. It will be flattened soon enough to make way for housing!