I have lost weight & started taking care of myself and I have lost every friend I ever had!

[dinkydolphin]

In January I decided I was going to change my lifestyle for the better.
Starting January first I started doing things to make MYSELF happy. I lost a stone, started wearing makeup, bought nicer clothes, started getting my nails and hair done and wore makeup regularly. On top of this I started socialising more with my partner and together we went out more and over all and generally I was a lot more confident in my skin.
However, as of last night I have lost some of my closest friends. Women who I knew since high school. Many of them have been trying to lose weight for a while or I guess were used to be looking different but, my last original friend last night told me I just wasn't myself anymore.

I am obviously going to keep on the track that boosts my confidence but, it's been very very sad losing good friends.

John Oliver on MLM

op are you drinking aloe Vera shakes and jetting off to Dubai? If you’re involved with a MLM (multi level marketing) outfit then it is little wonder you’re friend have ditched you.

C’mon fess up!

I thought MLM too...

You don’t need to ask your remaining friend ask the one who text you.

Then you can decide if it is someone jealous or you are very self absorbed with how amazing you look or something else

Thanks @Katterinaballerina

Hmmm.. it’s very strange to loose all of your friends because you’ve lost a stone and enjoy going out more .
There has to be more to this that you aren’t saying

I don't think anyone would notice if I lost a stone.

I lost 7st a few years ago. I didn't lose any friends at all. I never shoved my calorie counting, running routine down their throat though and as I am not overly confident in myself no matter what I weigh I doubt they noticed a difference in my personality.

I think you need an honest Conversation with your friends tbh

MLM is Multi Level Marketing. Stuff like Juice Plus, Forever Living etc.

People tend to lose their personalities and hound their friends for orders to make money, hence why they usually lose all their friends!

Nails, hair, make-up, more confident in her skin... I'm going to guess Arbonne, the weight loss is incidental - it's only 10kg which is not significant for a "product".

@dinkydolphin

I am torn here, because I know some people can get very jealous and threatened and pissed off when someone does well for themselves - be that a significant weight loss, or a promotion, or an inheritance or lottery win that makes the person receiving it financially secure (or even set for life...)

Also, some people who lose quite a bit of weight - 2-3 stone plus, can sometimes become very boring and self-centred; talking about nothing but their weight-loss, and healthy eating, and their exercise programme, etc etc. And they can lose friends this way because they are tedious to talk to.

So it may be more about you than them sorry OP. (Tho I don't think a stone is enough for someone to be jealous of - but well done anyway!!!

I have never lost friends through weight loss as I have never been particularly overweight, so have never lost much. But I have lost friends due to doing well in the workplace though. I was very close pals with a woman at work - went to lunch once a week on Friday lunchbreak, went to the pub twice a month, exchanged cards and gifts on birthdays and Christmas.

We were the same level of rank at work, (admin/secretarial,) and we had both worked there 3 years (she started a month before me,) when I got promoted to lower management, with a company car and expense account.

She virtually ghosted me, and wouldn't even look at me. I was shocked and upset as I really liked her and had had some great time with her for 3 years.

Guess people show their true colours eventually. I did grieve the loss of the friendship though.

I've had this when I've made lifestyle changes. Because we just don't do "the thing" we used to do. Be that partying, smoking, drinking, working in a job, being parents or not, putting up with abusive men, breastfeeding or doing the same diet or exercise. They are not "lifelong" friends, they are just passing through.

I lost about 20kg (so just over 3 stone) and my friends couldn't care less (in a positive way) my weight and appearance affect them in no way whatsoever.

Im afraid it sounds a lot like there's a genuine issue, and only one common demoninator.

Yeah, there’s more to this. Only in —men’s— people’s imaginations do women suddenly hate their good friends cos they’re all slim and bootiful now.

If they were that dick-ish, you’d probably have noticed before now, seeing as you’ve been pals since school.

Either MLM or something else. If they said “you aren’t the same person anymore”, I’m almost 100% certain it is not because you’re slim and they’re envious.

Or maybe I’m lucky never to have come across people like this. I’ve been around the friendship block a few times though and, if anything, I think people enjoy being around confident, outgoing people. Flakey friends tend to flake when you’re down, not up ime.

When you say “perhaps I’ve been over milking it?” OP, do you mean over milking the sales pitch or miraculous effect a product or company has had for you?

Did you talk about anything else in that conversation last night, OP? What are you 'over-milking' because you haven't actually said?

Have you taken up running?

I have two friends (not friends with each other) who have taken up running in the last five years. They’ve both pretty much lost all of the friends. Not through jealousy or bitterness or anything, but because they have become absolutely constant about bloody fucking running.

Someone has a bad day - “you should go for a run, the endorphins will make you feel better”
Someone loses their job - “a run will cheer you up”
Someone gets ill - “running will help build your strength”.

It’s literally the only thing they talk about now in person and on social media. Any honesty about it is met with accusations of jealousy or bitterness.

A stone is next to fuck all in weight loss terms and having a few nights out doesn't sound earth-shattering. So it's not them, it's you. Have you tried to sell them your diet and made comments on their weight / appearance? Are you out "partying" a ridiculous amount with young kids at home? Why not just ask the person who told you she doesn't like you any more "in what way do you think I've changed?"

I agree that the lack of response about MLM is telling

If not then it must be talking about it 247, no other explanation

cupoftea That's an interesting angle. In the early 90s I remember going to a talk on women in publishing. One of the speakers was an editor for Mills & Boon (generic romantic fiction) and she said the day before she had read a manuscript that had been written by a man using a woman's name. She said the heroine (usually shy and unaware of their obvious beauty, until the brrodibg hero says something like 'why Miss Jones you are beautiful) was looking at herself in the mirror and thinking, I am not shy it's because I have pert boobs and the best arse in the whole village. We all laughed. She said, 'What woman thinks that really?'. A stone you say ......... Ummm?

I've lost a stone since January, my clothes are less snug but nothing earth shattering. I don't talk about it. People in my office are all on slimming world. They go on about it constantly. I can only imagine a night out with them would include gin and Slim line tonic and conversations about Iceland ready meals and muller light yoghurts if their day conversation is anything to go by.

You can become more healthy without being a different person.

@KC225

I can totally imagine it; Jenny Jones gazed at her reflection, appraisingly in the mirror. Her firm thighs encased in skin tight black denim and pert breasts heaving in excitement at the compliment from [male hero] 😂 😂 😂.

Did anyone else laugh at this?

We were on the phone last night talking about heading out as a group of ladies this Saturday night!

It made me think of David Walliams and his 'I'm a lady!' Very odd.

Also, I don't think anyone would notice if most people lost a stone, unless that is you're very short.

I agree that there's probably something else MLM or mentionitis going on.

This is laydays night, oh what a night oh what a nii-iight