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Original poster

I have lost weight & started taking care of myself and I have lost every friend I ever had!

179 replies

dinkydolphin · 25/04/2019 08:55

In January I decided I was going to change my lifestyle for the better.
Starting January first I started doing things to make MYSELF happy. I lost a stone, started wearing makeup, bought nicer clothes, started getting my nails and hair done and wore makeup regularly. On top of this I started socialising more with my partner and together we went out more and over all and generally I was a lot more confident in my skin.
However, as of last night I have lost some of my closest friends. Women who I knew since high school. Many of them have been trying to lose weight for a while or I guess were used to be looking different but, my last original friend last night told me I just wasn't myself anymore.

I am obviously going to keep on the track that boosts my confidence but, it's been very very sad losing good friends.

OP posts:
DogInATent · 25/04/2019 10:55

Any MLM involved in this transformation?

thecatsthecats · 25/04/2019 10:59

Weight can be so tricky in both ways!

I have lost 4st, and seen friends lose similar amounts.

There was the friend who lost that before me, and she was desperately proud, but also highly conscious of the fact I was still weighing high.

There were the chorus of friends who kept telling me how they put all the weight they lost for the wedding on, and the follow up when i continued to lose weight after my wedding.

There's the friend who has always been slim and put a lot of weight on in pregnancy and struggles a little with her new figure (which is still massively smaller than mine!).

There's the clown who pointed out that I'm shrinking whilst another is blooming in pregnancy.

... but none of these have affected friendships. It really sounds like you HAVE changed - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But your friends are friends with you, the person, and if that person changes they will A) notice and B) perhaps not like you as much.

PinkieTuscadero · 25/04/2019 10:59

I suspect you've left out a few crucial details, OP, because I'm finding your story hard to believe.

colditz · 25/04/2019 11:01

YOu need to have a cold hard look at your own behaviour. HOnestly, have you become a Diet Twat? because it's very easy to slip into when you have successfully lost weight.

Butchyrestingface · 25/04/2019 11:02

Any MLM involved in this transformation?

Can’t be. She hasn’t used “so blessed”, “reached out”, “super awesome” or “hot mess” once.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 25/04/2019 11:04

If everyone of your friends dropped you and you assume it's because you look better.....that suggest it's actually your attitude.

I suspect some mlm here too. Especially mentioning that you go out more with your partner. I assume all this goes in Facebook, so you can show everyone how amazing your lifestyle is.

DogInATent · 25/04/2019 11:06

Can’t be. She hasn’t used “so blessed”, “reached out”, “super awesome” or “hot mess” once.

They're training them better these days - hold back on the message until the third post.

DontCallMeShitley · 25/04/2019 11:14

It's not them, it's you.

PinkieTuscadero · 25/04/2019 11:16

Ah, is reconnecting with your partner a telltale sign of an MLMer? Grin

IvanaPee · 25/04/2019 11:18

Any MLM involved in this transformation?

Ah.

pepperpot99 · 25/04/2019 11:19

So....is the OP going to actually tell us about the catalystic events of yesterday which triggered this mass exodus of 'good friends' ?

SleepingStandingUp · 25/04/2019 11:19

OP if all my friends dropped me i'd be taking a look at myself and wondering why, not assuming it's because they're all terribly jealous of my fabulous life.

As someone else said, 1 stone is great but it hasn't altered how you look that much. The new clothes and makeup if it makes you feel good is fine but i wonder if you've becomes a little obsessed with how pretty and slim you are, or a little critical of them? Are you sat in Starbucks with them in jeans and ponytails and you're dressed for a night on the town whilst thrusting your bossom at the young barista?
Have you cancelled nights out with them to hang out with your husband or insist that he comes along with you on girl nights out?

It could be that they're jealous mean girls who don't want to see anyone else happy, in which case you've lost nothing and should move onwards and upwards to get new friends

TidyDancer · 25/04/2019 11:24

Bingo re the MLM. If there's even a hint of that involved that'll be why your friends have backed off.

GoatsInATree · 25/04/2019 11:27

Also a 'ding' moment re MLM.

Anyway, where is OP?

Hearhere · 25/04/2019 11:31

Generally speaking friendships need a certain amount of common ground in order to be viable, I don't think it should come as any surprise then that if you have a drastic change in your lifestyle and your value system your friends may feel they don't have much in common with you anymore

KC225 · 25/04/2019 11:31

Another one asking what happened last night ?

BarrenFieldofFucks · 25/04/2019 11:32

Why are you assuming they're all wrong? While it sounds like you're having a great time, losing 1 stone isn't 'life changing' territory.

Patchworksack · 25/04/2019 11:34

Let me guess - let night you invited them all round to yours to share an amazing (MLM ) opportunity?

Offallycheap · 25/04/2019 11:36

Grin @MLM

1 stone is a couple of big poos.

justmyview · 25/04/2019 11:36

I have a friend who makes a huge song and dance about having one and a half glasses of wine. I don't mind at all that she drinks less than I do, but it comes across as quite preachy and judgemental. I've never confronted her or said anything about it, but I do feel a bit less relaxed in her company.

I wonder if something like this is going on with OP and I also want to know what happened last night

Zoflorabore · 25/04/2019 11:42

Op is off living her best life

JaneJeffer · 25/04/2019 11:43

I don't think OP lost all her friends last night. She lost the only one she had left after gradually losing the others.

People often can't cope with others' success. There's a thread running about that at the moment.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 25/04/2019 11:47

People often can't cope with others' success.

I doubt all her friends are like that though.

If multiple people drop you, theres a good chance it's you. Not always, but a definite good chance.

notevangelical · 25/04/2019 11:50

"get so evangelical about it that they literally talk about nothing else."
I don't agree this would lead to loss of genuine friendship - if it is a good friend you tell them gently to talk about something else, not tell them to bugger off (or distance yourself)

I think OP that if you feel happier in your skin, then keep at it, give it some time and the genuine old friends will get over it and come back to you, and make some new friends in the meantime.

I think a stone can make a huge difference actually, from frumpy and round to shapely and clothes hanging better on you.

I went from a large 14 after pregnancy (which had lingered around for five years) to a 10 - 12 and one woman I had after pregnancy a couple of years earlier sent me a stream of abusive emails which I am fairly sure was related to me losing weight. I hadn't changed - I had spent most of my adult life a size 10 before getting pregnant so I wasn't evangelical and my personality and conversation hadn't changed when I put on or lost weight.

People do also see you and treat you differently if you are slim and looking good ime - not good but it is true.

PinkieTuscadero · 25/04/2019 11:54

People do also see you and treat you differently if you are slim and looking good ime - not good but it is true.

Every single person in your social group? I don't think so.

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