I have lost weight & started taking care of myself and I have lost every friend I ever had!

[dinkydolphin]

In January I decided I was going to change my lifestyle for the better.
Starting January first I started doing things to make MYSELF happy. I lost a stone, started wearing makeup, bought nicer clothes, started getting my nails and hair done and wore makeup regularly. On top of this I started socialising more with my partner and together we went out more and over all and generally I was a lot more confident in my skin.
However, as of last night I have lost some of my closest friends. Women who I knew since high school. Many of them have been trying to lose weight for a while or I guess were used to be looking different but, my last original friend last night told me I just wasn't myself anymore.

I am obviously going to keep on the track that boosts my confidence but, it's been very very sad losing good friends.

Watch the film called i think i am pretty. Have a check to see if your behaviour has changed at all?

None of us know you, so we have no idea whether all your friends are not real friends or whether you have changed in a way they don't like.

Did you usually see them on a particular night/ times and are throwing them over because you enjoy going out with your partner more? My mum did exactly the same a few years ago - she lost four stone, really took care of her health (in prep for an op). We were all delighted for her but Christ she could be hard work sometimes with regard to it.

OP, like others have said, either you've had absolutely dreadful luck that all of your friends have turned out to be jealous miserable frenemies, or, as is logically more likely, you are the common denominator here.

It needn't necessarily be that you've become a bore, although that was my first thought too; if you think about it, was your old friendship group a bit toxic anyway, with lots of inter-group bitching about each other? I've been part of that sort of dynamic as a teenager and thinking back on it I've realised that it was because we were all pretty insecure, so tearing chunks out of each other behind their backs (without even really meaning the things we said) was just a kind of poisonous group hug. That obviously perpetuated the insecurity, as if you could bitch about Y with Z then there was no reason at all to think Y and Z weren't bitching about me behind my back. If your friendships have been forged on shared insecurity then inevitably, when you shed yours and become more confident, that common interest is gone.

If that's the dynamic then I'd say you're still the common denominator, but only because you had poor taste in friends! Either way you can now focus on getting new, better friends.

I too think there is more to this than you are acknowledging op.
One friend of mine started going on a weekly "date night" and keeping an allotment, and eating more healthy. She bored everyone to tears about the changes she had made and how her life was now so wonderful. She actually came across as very superior.
I would look at yourself and be honest. It is easy to bore others or come across as superior without realising.

I had a larger friend who lost a lot of weight. She had always been lovely , funny and caring. Suddenly almost overnight it seemed she became a bit “too cool” judgmental, cynical and boring. She later admitted she was disappointed that her life wasn’t suddenly amazing because she’d lost weight. This might not be anything like your situation but I know we all felt like she had changed and wondered if her personality of old was fake. Like being the stereotypical fat but funny friend.

Try giving up drink! People look at you as if you're wearing your knickers on your head.

my last original friend last night told me I just wasn't myself anymore.

Thats beacuse you are doing nothing about talking about how wonderful you are - everything you mentioned in your op is superficial - Weight/hair/aesthetics/nails/clothes shopping/out on the lash. It all screams 'mid life crisis'

Op I think it is very very unlikely that you have lost friends simply because you have lost weight! The fact you are even thinking along these lines is telling. My friends and I have lost and gained weight more times than I can count over the years. It has had zero impact on our friendship.

Could it be that you have actually changed???

Have you not considered that is unlikely that ALL your friends are rubbish and envious, is there not even the smallest chance you have become insufferable/difficult/boastful?

Perhaps you should ask your oldest and most honest friend to explain in greater depth why she feels you have changed, and listen very carefully to the answer. It is no fun being billy no mates.

That does sound odd. Whilst a stone is great, and you must feel better for it, it's certainly not a life changing amount of weight to lose, and on some people would not necessarily even be noticeable.

What has changed in your interactions with them? When did you normally see them, and what did you do with them?

You haven't got involved in a MLM scheme have you? (Just as thought re the weight loss/make up)

i know someone who was a lovelly person. she has lost A LOT of weight, which Im happy for her. she looks fab! BUT she isnt very nice any more. its all superficial clothes, makeup etc. its like she lost the weight and gained a horrid me , me me attitude! smokes like a chimney now as well. she walks past me now without so much as a grunt.

I also wondered what happened it's not like you've lost a huge amount of weight and wearing make up isn't a huge deal.

@dinkydolphin ??

Never underestimate the power of the green eyed monster. You have done really well OP, keep it up.

It won't be the weight itself, it'll be the whole image overhaul; a stone isn't really a dramatic loss on anyone except someone tiny to begin with, but might make OP feel confident enough to wear clothes she wouldn't have previously, which chimes with the clothes shopping etc. she mentioned. The more dramatic change is almost certainly in her outlook, attitude, etc.

Something off here.

its like the girl i knew. i don`t care / jealousy over her hair/ makeup/ clothes whatever..... she looks so good! there is zero jealousy .

its her stinking attitude! i hope one day she sees it and becomes a lovelly person again. hey ho...

There's got to be something missing here, it's too much of a coincidence for you to have lost all of your friends.
I had a friend once who decided to go on some shake diet for years and it dramatically changed her as a person. We loved her for who she was and not what she looked like. We were massively supportive of the weight loss but it got to the point where she would ditch all meet ups because we couldn't meet for food, at a coffee shop, basically anywhere that had food. We'd ask for suggestions and she wouldn't suggest anywhere. Unfortunately the friendship ended. I tried to be supportive but I missed her nice old personality.

A good friend of mine has lost some weight, she looks good and is pleased but by God do I know about it. We had a weekend break and the constant hand wringing ‘oh I’m going to be good today, I feel gross I ate that’ and ‘oh I shouldn’t have eaten that cake!’ Narrative was beyond tedious. The demonising of foods, or herself, and by proxy of everyone else got quite intense.

I’ve done the dieting, and you do have to embrace it to stick to it, but it’s much like any other habit/hobby, it can consume you whole to the point of no longer being recognisable as the friend they knew and loved.

What happened last night, OP?

To have suddenly lost all your friends in one night is very dramatic.

My friends and I have lost and gained weight more times than I can count over the years. It has had zero impact on our friendship
Springwalk yy this is what I was thinking too. Our weight and image changes have never impacted our friendships.

It is really hard not to become a bore. The worst thing about watching what you eat is that it redirects a huge stream of your mental energy into this boring monologic buzz, and you have to work hard not to let that spill into your conversations! I was really conscious about not being a diet bore (partly because I didn't want to advertise that I was trying to lose weight) but I know I didn't always succeed, and I still catch myself boring on about it now sometimes, even though it's become second nature.

I would find it very difficult to accept that all your friends are jealous of your new lifestyle. I can understand someone who isn't a true friend being jealous but for it to be all of them I think you might need to have a look at your behaviour because maybe it has changed and not for the better

To shift your mindset to loose weight you have to start placing yourself at the center of what you do and looking after yourself, making time for yourself and valuing yourself.

Have you lost your friends because your social activities with them involved going out and you've stopping going out with them?

You need to have a look at why you think you've lost these friends and if part of that reason is that your personality has changed and it is a change you are not happy with - then you need to do something about it.

However, as of last night I have lost some of my closest friends

What happened last night?

Unless you’re 4ft tall, 1 stone isn’t an earth shattering amount of weight to lose. (Wish I could lose it though). Hard to imagine what could have caused them to take such major hump.