Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Ten White Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Wedding Part 2

844 replies

jessicawessica · 23/04/2019 13:27

I've never had to start a second thread so no idea if I've done this right.
I couldn't resist the title.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Mummy2TandM · 04/05/2019 12:39

You missed your opportunity to be outright about the situation. Why lie? Your reasoning doesn't make sense because they already thinks you are the bad guy so why not spell it out - you have nothing to lose. Sometimes people need it in black and white and this pair clearly fit into that category.

IHaveNoIdeaReally · 04/05/2019 13:52

They blew their house deposit on their wedding, that says it All. Shock

Lunde · 04/05/2019 15:20

Jasmin82 - I have to wonder whether they went to a wedding fayre? I only wonder as I've been to a couple (both as a stall holder). Stall holders at these events could probably convince anyone that you aren't getting married properly if you don't have 14 white tigers at the front, 20 elephants to carry the bride and her bridesmaids, a chimp to conduct the ceremony and have the ring presented in an oyster carried in by a dolphin.

I laughed when I read this and immediately thought of that Gavin and Stacy episode when they go to a wedding fayre and Smithy is talked into all sorts of nonsense by "Jammy", a stag party coordinator.

I can just imagine vendors eyeing up DN and gf's house deposit big wedge of cash and seeing how much tat they can sell them. "Ooh you have to do it properly and make a big splash - 10 groomsmen in white suits will look fantaaaastic in the photos".

Graphista · 04/05/2019 18:31

The wedding fayre post made me laugh too.

When working in the industry I was obviously on the vendors side of things and my job was to sell, but some do get really carried away (vendors and buyers).

I also attended a couple in the run up to my own wedding (which was way before I worked in the industry) But we were sensible and stuck to our budget, picked up a couple of small items and mainly used it as a way to get an idea of what we did and didn't want.

I agree op missed a golden opportunity to put bride straight. I wouldn't have made excuses, by that point there was no need and op clearly understood bride and groom in the wrong and COMPLETELY out of order and bride taking piss with what she was sayjng, and the relationship is buggered anyway! May as well be honest. Unlikely they'd have taken it on board but at least then op knows they've been as straight and clear as they could.

Sometimes a relationship is irretrievable.

I'm nc wth my sister for many, many reasons (lies, stirring, physical assault, running up debt in my name without my knowledge, being crappy to dd...) I've tried in many ways to sort things out, so have my parents in taking her to task over her behaviour but she'll never change.

Parents still in contact but mainly because she holds the dgc ransom basically - though as they've got older and able to see my parents independently they've gradually had reduced contact with her. They're well aware what she's like and take everything she says with a large pinch of salt (seriously the lying is pathological and over the most ridiculously unnecessary things often).

It's impossible to "hash it out" with people who completely refuse to acknowledge they've done anything wrong at all.

"Denial" is bandied about when people mean simply "too embarrassed to admit they're wrong" but for some it's a genuine mental block as part of their disordered thinking.

So at a certain point you have to say "I'm done" and just not have anything to do with them.

That's not a failure on your part it's self preservation and sensible.

Halo84 · 04/05/2019 20:39

I think others have probably told the bride and groom they made a mistake, likely numerous times. So, confronting them isn’t going to change anything.

Given OP has relationships with DN’s parents, I don’t think confrontation would have been in the OP’s best interests.

RebootYourEngine · 04/05/2019 21:05

Wow cheeky fuckers the pair of them.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 04/05/2019 21:23

it's my fault that they now have to go out for Sunday Dinner.

Blimey. Is there no limit to their entitlement? Poor little sausages... So deprived - and so unfairly.

The bride is what my DM would call a right little madam. She and DN1 are as bad as each other.

It's beginning to look as if DN1's parents have overindulged their son to the extent that he feels entitled to have the whole family scurry round after him while he can treat them all with disdain. Including his DM. And his bride's no better.

They are a very unpleasant pair.

jessicawessica · 04/05/2019 21:30

Graphista, that's just what I've been thinking with regards to DB1 and DN's mum. He won't say anything to DN and she won't ask them to leave because they're worried that they might lose contact with granddaughter.

OP posts:
Oohgossip · 05/05/2019 00:55

Really feel for you, they sound a pair of plebs!

Graphista · 05/05/2019 01:17

Yea I wouldn't be surprised.

It's a shitty thing to do but I've seen it happen unfortunately.

But regards yourself don't take any more crap from them - really! You don't deserve it, they likely know they're in the wrong and won't acknowledge it that's on them now and certainly don't go doing them any favours - they don't appreciate you or your family.

IggyAce · 05/05/2019 08:25

OP definitely both as bad as each other. I couldn’t have kept my mouth shut, I would have ripped her a new one pointing out why it was their fault and they are making themselves look bad because of their actions. The relationship is broken so you had nothing to lose by pointing out their faults.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 05/05/2019 08:38

I’ve just caught up on all this.
Well, I’ve read the OPs posts anyway.

What a self centred pair of twats. Fancy pissing all this money away on a wedding when they are meant to be saving for a deposit.

As a side note, when did ushers become groomsmen? I think I missed that memo.

MachineBee · 05/05/2019 08:54

When is the wedding OP?

M4J4 · 05/05/2019 09:46

@Halo84

That’s what I posted. You changed my post.

I certainly didn't change your post. Shock

I quoted word for word. Please don't blame me for something I clearly haven't done.

Holidayshopping · 05/05/2019 10:04

I’m amazed his mum hasn’t thrown them out!?

Imagine having a couple and baby in your house-I’m presuming for quite some time- knowing they have been given a large sum of money as a house deposit so will soon be going...., to find they are going to spunk the lot up the wall on a wedding instead!!

I would have told them they were taking the piss and needed to move out regardless. They can bloody rent.

Macandcheese05 · 05/05/2019 20:32

i cant believe she rang you OP. how rude. she doesnt invite you then blames you! so glad exSIL sees what is going on. hope your brother comes round to seeing what they are doing is rude

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 05/05/2019 23:06

Flip me, what a pair of tossers-clearly well matched

Hecateh · 06/05/2019 00:04

Thoughts - for what it's worth.

He is having 10 groomsmen .... she is having 2 bridesmaids.

This sounds like it is him rather than the bride that is making it all about the day.

Her making 'the phone call' when she has always been quiet and shy - possibly she is being coerced into making the call. It sounds like he calls the shots and maybe she does as she is told.

could be very wrong BUT 10 white suited groomsmen and 2 bridesmaids definitely says 'groomzilla' not 'bridezilla'

cstaff · 06/05/2019 00:23

What a pair of tossers. How many Sunday dinners would make up the cost of a wedding invite. They will find out soon enough now they are not invited anymore and bless them - they will have to make or buy their own every week.

They really didn't know how good they had it until it has all been taken away. I'm not sure you can really blame your db1 as his son sounds like he will do his own thing no matter how many people try to put him straight.

What a waste of what certainly appeared to be a relatively happy family life.

LoveCatzzz · 06/05/2019 01:52

Just caught up on both threads...what a pair of twats!

LittleBearPad · 06/05/2019 08:23

Poor babies having to go out for Sunday lunch now.

Extraordinary pair!

LadyGagasMeatDress · 06/05/2019 08:32

Wow - just read both the threads. These two really are confusing marriage and wedding aren't they. They've got their heads so far up their own arses they can't tell if it's night or day.

So sorry they've treated you and your family so badly. Feel particularly bad for your DM.

Holidayshopping · 06/05/2019 08:51

Why can’t they cook their own Sunday lunch??

Clutterbugsmum · 06/05/2019 09:13

Time for DN mum to take the power back.

She needs to tell them they have to move out of HER home and give them a date to do it.

It sounds like they are trying to force his mum out of her home so they can have it. They never intended to 'save' towards buying a house. They have a house they want it just happens to belong to his mum.

She goes to work then spends as much time as she can at her DP's place - Is that her Parents or Partner. If it her Partner then I'd be inclined to start talking about selling the house. And making it crystal clear the house is not and nor ever be their HOUSE.

I'd also be making sure my will is crystal clear that the home is to be split equally between her children and that neither of them are executor of will to ensure your wishes are carried out.

needsahouseboy · 06/05/2019 11:08

Jesus she sounds awful!