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Original poster

The Ten White Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Wedding Part 2

844 replies

jessicawessica · 23/04/2019 13:27

I've never had to start a second thread so no idea if I've done this right.
I couldn't resist the title.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
RandomAmanda · 03/05/2019 13:03

Will do @Ce7913 Wink

NoCauseRebel · 03/05/2019 16:06

I would be interested to hear the other side of this. Because I actually don’t believe that this is as black and white as the OP is painting it here.

Bearing in mind that every couple of days there is an instalment to ensure that interest is maintained, and it always gets a bit more dramatic.

So we started with the aunts and uncles not being invited to the whole thing. Outrage followed. Then the next door neighbour was invited. More outrage and the nephew was showing his true colours apparently. And then the bride was inviting her family, how very dare she, and suddenly none of this is the groom’s fault but clearly the bride is the one in the wrong and you have to be careful of the quiet ones etc etc etc.

I actually if the bride has been going to this faily’s house every weekend under duress. Whether the nephew goes there because if not the family kick off over it, and now that it’s come to her wedding the bride has put her foot down and said that she’s not having any of it any more.

I simply don’t believe that the OP and her family are all innocent parties here and that this snub has come out of nowhere. I think it’s more likely that they’ve turned on the bride now because she’s the only one who’s been prepared to stand up to them.

Halo84 · 03/05/2019 16:24

I disagree. I think the grandmother was surprised at the bride’s reaction. I also just expressed surprise that a man would be overly involved in wedding planning. Most men just say you plan it, I’ll show up.

I doubt there are “installments to maintain interest”. OP has posted because others are interested. If you are not, no one is forcing you to read this thread.

OP never posted none of it was the groom’s fault. She merely posted the bride was more involved than previously assumed by the family. Per above, that makes sense.

I doubt DN visits his grandmother under duress. Perhaps it’s an obligation. I visited my grandmother every week as did my husband. We did it because I wanted to, and my husband didn’t mind. I never forced him to come along.

SweetMarmalade · 03/05/2019 16:40

OP is only posting updates when she learns about them herself.

The invites were only given out a few weeks ago (I think) so she wouldn’t know when she originally posted, who was and wasn’t invited.

Graphista · 03/05/2019 16:54

Even IF the bride has a genuine issue with the family this was NOT the way or the time to deal with it.

It's passive aggressive bollocks rather than saying what the actual problem is - even if there is one which I suspect not.

Op hasn't shifted blame onto the bride but advised its become obvious it's not just the Dn.

Families can be tricky and there can be issues but you don't deal with them by snubbing people from important family events as a first step!

You speak to the family members about what the problem is and try to resolve it first.

No, I'm not buying the op's family have done something bad enough to warrant this snub without them being aware of what that might be.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 03/05/2019 16:59

So we started with the aunts and uncles not being invited to the whole thing. Outrage followed. Then the next door neighbour was invited. More outrage and the nephew was showing his true colours apparently. And then the bride was inviting her family, how very dare she, and suddenly none of this is the groom’s fault but clearly the bride is the one in the wrong and you have to be careful of the quiet ones etc etc etc.

You forgot the ex-husband being invited.

Halo84 · 03/05/2019 17:19

The ex husband was only invited to the evening event.

Honeyroar · 03/05/2019 17:19

However bridezilla the bride is, it was him saying you needed to get over yourselves when your mum said you were upset, him who expected Sunday lunch with the family to carry on, and your brother who didn't want to get involved..

Halo84 · 03/05/2019 17:36

I didn’t get the sense OP was blaming the bride, just updating the fact pattern.

BeansandRice · 03/05/2019 17:40

I'm going to feel stupid when I say that I have 3DCs and then someone asks Where are they?"

Well, she could just say quite neutrally that the bride and groom didn’t invite them and let the other person make up their own mind about the bride and groom’s behaviour.

Motoko · 03/05/2019 18:39

Well, she could just say quite neutrally that the bride and groom didn’t invite them and let the other person make up their own mind about the bride and groom’s behaviour.

Or they could think that she must have raised 3 horrible kids for them not to get an invite.

GreenTulips · 03/05/2019 18:41

Can’t get over the NDN invite! Do they provide Sunday entertainment and dinner?

Then the Taxi service!!

Has DB1 been in touch since?

It’s a complete joke

Original poster
jessicawessica · 03/05/2019 21:24

Yes I do onlypost/reply when I actually have something to post about. It would be pointless to do so otherwise.
I also want to make it clear that I am not absolving DN of any blame. But it's become clear that the bride is not entirely as uninvolved in all this as I previously believed.
She phoned me on Wednesday and made it clear that she holds me responsible for everything;
it's my fault that DN's grandmother isn't going now because me/DB2 won't drive her there. And because she's not going it's going to make DN and her look bad
it's my fault that DB2 isn't going to the evening do so no lift back for grandmother.
it's my fault that they now have to go out for Sunday Dinner because my mum is now coming to my house every Sunday.
I forced myself to remain calm and polite. I told her I had extended our holiday so wouldn't even be around to drive my mum there, that it was entirely DB2's own choice whether to attend or not, and that my mum was definitely not coming round to my house on Sundays now.
Yes I did lie about extending the holiday, and I didn't tell her that mum was going to DB2's house, not mine. But I just didn't want to get into some huge slanging match which would have ended up with me being the bad guy.
I had a visit from DN's mum the next day and she's not happy about everything that's happened either. She also thinks they are both as bad as each other, wishes she'd never asked them to move back in with her, and says she spends most of her time at DPs house to get away from it all.
I felt really sorry for her as she has to live with them!

OP posts:
Original poster
jessicawessica · 03/05/2019 21:26

I'd also like to add that nobody HAS to read this thread. It's not compulsory so you could just not.

OP posts:
TheweewitchRoz · 03/05/2019 21:33

Oh @jessicawessica, they're totally deluded and sorry that you keep getting dragged back into it. Their lack of self-awareness is staggering.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 03/05/2019 21:35

Oh my goodness Confused she's showing her claws, isn't she?! They have to go out for lunch now, do they? Poor dabs Hmm

Contraceptionismyfriend · 03/05/2019 21:43

That's awful OP :(
Everyone needs to stop tip toeing around these two and let rip!
His mum should give notice. He had the chance to move and is wasting the money.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 03/05/2019 21:44

it's my fault that they now have to go out for Sunday Dinner because my mum is now coming to my house every Sunday.

Or they could, you know, cook for themselves? Or even cook for your DM for once! Honestly out of her whole rant this is the bit that I think confirms their attitude as a pair of entitled takers. They’re not sorry that they’ve caused real upset to their family, just that they no longer get a free roast dinner once a week. They deserve to look bad!

VforVienetta · 03/05/2019 21:48

Crikey. She's just as bad as him, but actually, at least she had the ovaries to call you and talk about it, even if she spouted a load of crap! Your DN comes out worse as he's not even bothered enough to speak to you.
Curious why his DM hasn't called him out about it all?

TapasForTwo · 03/05/2019 21:56

So he has managed to piss off his future MIL as well.

Halo84 · 03/05/2019 21:58

No, the bride pissed off her future MIL. But, the bride and DN live with her already.

Original poster
jessicawessica · 03/05/2019 22:01

She has called them out on it, but it's not made any difference. Plus she's really stuck in the middle because they are in her house.
I honestly thought she had come round to give me a bollocking as well, but she was so apologetic.
She goes to work then spends as much time as she can at her DP's place because the atmosphere at home has got so bad.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 03/05/2019 22:02

Gosh it gets worse! They really are entitled aren’t they?
The Sunday lunch comment doesn’t surprise me in the least - I’ll give it 2 years

Lunde · 03/05/2019 22:02

They are really a pair of entitled babies!

They are blaming everyone for their own lack of basic courtesy. They had a good life with family support and a place to boast and mooch lunch every Sunday - but among their 150 guests they couldn't squeeze their supportive family of less than 10 people. Now they are expecting everyone to still put themselves out to facilitate their behaviour.

Even DN's Mum is regretting them living with her - I bet that in particular she is regretting that this pair chose to fritter away the downpayment on a house to fund this tacky show!

GreenTulips · 03/05/2019 22:07

AND they aren’t concerned DG is missing the wedding - they just don’t want to spend the day exhaling why DN family aren’t present