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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Ten White Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Wedding Part 2

844 replies

jessicawessica · 23/04/2019 13:27

I've never had to start a second thread so no idea if I've done this right.
I couldn't resist the title.

OP posts:
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Original poster
jessicawessica · 27/04/2019 16:00

Not unless his 50 year old mother's best friend is a male pensioner knocking on for 80.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/04/2019 16:04

Perhaps he’s setting them up.

Merryoldgoat · 27/04/2019 16:07

What inconsiderate pricks they are.

I definitely wouldn’t go if I was your mum either. What for? It’s supposed to be a celebration with people you know and love.

TheweewitchRoz · 27/04/2019 16:13

Oh my God - it gets worse. So sorry Op. Did your mum ask how come the NDN made the invitation list and you and your brother didn't?

I've said this earlier on in the thread so apologies for repetition but I honestly think there's been a perceived slight on your part in the past and this is your DNs revenge. Sorry!

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 27/04/2019 16:16

When she asked about transport ND said "I thought you'd arranged for Aunt jess to drop you off? If she's not coming in the evening then we can probably sort you out a lift with someone".

Apart from the sheer CFery of this, you’ve already RSVP’d that you’re not going! Does he not believe you or something? He’s making himself look more and more of a twat here. It’s very telling that DN2 was surprised that you and your other DB weren’t invited. It’s up to her of course but if I were your DM I’d be declining too now - his blasé attitude to transport and seating wouldn’t exactly make me feel like a much wanted guest and I don’t think I’d want any part of this horrifically thought out event.

notmuchmoretogive · 27/04/2019 16:19

He is so trying to set up your mum and the NDN! Typical opinion of someone young (note, not all young!!) that because they're both older they'll get on.

I am sorry Jess but your nephew is a knob. Too many DN's in this, perhaps we could refer to groom as KN from now on for Knob Nephew.

Original poster
jessicawessica · 27/04/2019 16:19

Yes, he did already know that I wasn't going due to the RSVP. I think he only said it because DN2 was there and he didn't want to make himself look even worse in front of his own DB, who obviously didn't have a clue what was going on.
Unless he does think I will change my mind or it might mean his DG not being able to go which of course will then be my fault.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 27/04/2019 16:20

DN2 piped up "Well you won't be on your own, you'll be with aunt jess and uncle D2.
"No" she said, "Because they aren't invited".Pin drop moment. That's when DN told her about the NDN.

Who is DN2? Who had a pin drop moment?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/04/2019 16:39

He lives with his mother. He’s probably known this woman all his life. For all you know she’s the mother’s best friend

He’s definitely known jessicawessica all his life. She is his aunt by blood. She’s his father’s sister. He sees her every week. Ffs.

Is dn2 your dn’s younger brother?

SenecaFalls · 27/04/2019 16:40

I think DN2 is the groom's brother.

Original poster
jessicawessica · 27/04/2019 16:43

yes DN2 is DN's brother.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 27/04/2019 16:43

Ah, I missed seeing there was a brother in the first thread.

Has the bride said much to your mum about the invites, OP? You seemed to suggest it was DN who was doing it for showy (testy) reasons but that she seemed quite nice and quiet. I just wondered how she felt about it all. Apologies if I’ve misremembered

UCOinanOCG · 27/04/2019 16:47

If it keeps going like this DN will have no family at his wedding!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/04/2019 16:48

He’s definitely known jessicawessica all his life. She is his aunt by blood. She’s his father’s sister.

I understand what an aunt is, thanks. None of that means he likes her.

Holidayshopping · 27/04/2019 16:50

None of that means he likes her.

Yes, agreed. I’m starting to think either he doesn’t like his aunt or uncle or he’s embarrassed by them for some reason. Otherwise, surely he would have invited them.

ByeClaire · 27/04/2019 16:54

Thank you OP for the details Wine

I think your mum has to make it clear she will not ask for or accept a lift from you.
Poor DN2 being clueless.
This is all very odd.

woollyheart · 27/04/2019 16:56

If he has 10 groomsmen, he has more than enough 'help' to get valued family to the wedding. Groomsmen normally have responsibilities, so he needs plenty of work for them.

One of them should be able to bring his gran to the wedding.

FraggleRocking · 27/04/2019 17:15

This is going to drag out being an awkward family situation forever unless someone outright asks why this decision was made. The fact your other nephew thought you’d be there and was confused says a lot.
It might cause hurt to hear, and it might be difficult to have the conversation but it seems that people are suffering anyway bit by bit. Really feel for you.

woollyheart · 27/04/2019 17:29

Yes, you need to be explicit that if you were invited you would take your mum of course, but as you aren't, you will be doing something else, not driving his wedding guests around.

They must have plenty of wedding cars with so many groomsmen and bridesmaids. They can take gran in one of those. If she still wants to go on this groomfest.

BookwormMe2 · 27/04/2019 17:36

OP, has anyone actually asked DN outright why he hasn't invited you or his uncle to the ceremony and meal? There just seems to be a lot of skirting around the subject, but not definitive conversation. Hasn't your mum even asked?

Original poster
jessicawessica · 27/04/2019 17:41

Yes mum has asked but DN just said that there wasn't room for everyone. But then who is everyone?
DN only has 10 members of family tops. We don't know whether the bride's aunts and uncles are invited or not.

OP posts:
woollyheart · 27/04/2019 17:46

Perhaps Gran could be the 11th horseman of the Apocalypse? Then she would be looked after better and would be on the (massive) head table.

notmuchmoretogive · 27/04/2019 18:25

I am middle aged (and old fashioned) and sorry for being a bit stupid, but is a groomsman what I would've called an usher?
I thought their job was to seat people, make sure things run smoothly and get people like granny to the venue.
Who has paid for the (revolting) ten white suits? If DN how much money did your DB save? It sounds like it would be enough for a deposit on a piece of property (shaking head in disbelief at priorities). I've been to some mega buck weddings (come from a very posh family!) and some very low key ones (didn't turn out all that posh myself!) and the best and most fun are the low key ones.

treenu · 27/04/2019 18:28

I can't believe that the NDN is invited all day and close aunt and uncle/god parents are not.

"Yeah gran, come for the day but sit over there with our NDN'

Shocking. I feel for you all. Sounds bonkers.
Hope you're all ok.

Grainedmonkey · 27/04/2019 18:30

I can't believe NDN has been invited to the ceremony!WTF
I don't think DN doesn’t like his aunt or uncle, he just seems to think it's ok not to invite them because there 'wasn't room for everyone' plain ignorance on his part.
DN2 seems to have a bit more about him.

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