The Ten White Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Wedding Part 2

[jessicawessica]

I've never had to start a second thread so no idea if I've done this right.
I couldn't resist the title.

To be honest, sometimes that invite to a wedding can be a way of showing where you are on the spectrum as well. At my dd’s wedding. her aunts and uncles were placed at the front, as we thought that was the right way to go.

However at niece’s (not going to say dear) wedding there were 3 separate venues all over 10 miles apart!!! Less than 20 minute service at tacky wedding chapel was at 12.00. Wedding breakfast at 2nd venue was not till 15.00 to allow for photographs!! At wedding breakfast family on mother’s side was placed at table 1 (next table in importance to top table), however aunts and uncles on father’s side were placed at back table, beside children’s table (none of them our children). Venue was very narrow, only allowing 2 tables per row, and long. As we were at table 9 (i.e. over a hundred, on top of those at top table, back) we couldn’t hear any of the speeches etc, due to the noise from children. As we were so far back by the time we were served food was cold. Half glass of wine that we got as we walked in was not topped up, as happened at tables further forward. When my ds said to wine waiter that they had missed out our table she was told “sorry but that was all the wine gone”.
On top of this the evening reception was held 10 miles away as they needed a larger venue for the extra 150 evening guests, to which some of brides cousins had been invited to.
Evening venue held around 200 at a squeeze (for about 350 invitees altogether) and by the time my dcs arrived there was hardly anywhere to stand never mind sit (found out later that the bride had told all her friends who were evening invitees to be there early). There were TWO bands set up and tables for evening buffet pushed together reduced room considerably. Let’s just says, we didn’t stay long.
Brides parents paid for everything and suspect brother told her (she always looked down her nose at us) that she had to invite us and this was her (and her mother’s) of showing how unimportant we were!

I'm hoping your Mum has a nice Sunday today. She must be so upset.

Just got back from shopping with mum.
She's still spitting feathers.
She saw DN and DB1 on Wednesday and the conversation did not go well.

Oh you're poor mum. This must be really affecting her :( hope she's OK.

The mind boggles as to who are the 150 more important people than the aunt you see every weekend

Why, what was the conversation?!

Oh no! I can't imagine how much worse this can get!!

I take it they just don’t get it?

So sorry for your poor mum - she's in a horrible position.

Oh no! I can't imagine how much worse this can get!!

Oh, I can...

Poor Dm.

Wow it’s really dragging out isn’t it?!

Mum will be seated with DN(and his mum's) NDN, who she's never even met so no idea what they'll find to talk about.

Wow! The next door neighbour is a tier 1 guest over the godparents/aunt/uncle.

Oh Damn. So no effort at all to make her comfortable. Did she address how she will be getting to the venue?

Come on OP, give us a nice juicy update, not just a trickle of little buds in answer to people’s Qs. Why did the conversation not go well? What was it about? Are you meeting up en famile tomorrow and if so where?

Wow! The next door neighbour is a tier 1 guest over the godparents/aunt/uncle.

TBF the NDN could be besties with DN's mum. And actually if I had to be seated next to a stranger, that one has some potential I would think.

(Still think the OP and family should be tier 1 btw)

Did they have any sensible suggestions as to how OP's mum was to get there and back?

Wtaf! A NEIGHBOUR gets priority over family?!

I don't care how "close" they are that's disgustingly rude!

What's your mums thinking at this point op?

I have to say if I were her I'd also be declining.

If I was your DM I would refuse & tell the grabby rude little sod DN why, with knobs on.

And although I deplore the press from ravaging through threads & using them as their 'own' stories, it would bloody serve DN right if this appeared in certain newspapers!!!
Though I hope it doesn't as it wouldn't be fair to you.

That WAS the uncomfortable conversation that they had on Wednesday....that mum is seated with NDN who she's never even set eyes on and DN thought it would be a good idea.
DN, DN2 and DB1 "dropped by" mums on Wednesday evening.
Sat down, cuppa, blah, blah.
She then said she was a bit worried about being on her own for the whole day at the wedding. DN2 piped up "Well you won't be on your own, you'll be with aunt jess and uncle D2.
"No" she said, "Because they aren't invited".
Pin drop moment. That's when DN told her about the NDN.
When she asked about transport ND said "I thought you'd arranged for Aunt jess to drop you off? If she's not coming in the evening then we can probably sort you out a lift with someone".
I don't think she knew what to say after that.
But she did tell them that she wouldn't be in on Sunday.

DN obviously believes weddings aren't really for family.

He probably has a similar thought process to Denise in the Royle Family arriving on Christmas Eve without the kids, "Christmas isn't really for children".

@texasgurl

This entire situation is insane. I'm American, and whatever you think of us, not even Americans act like this. As I'm Southern, we are more or less told by our parents that we have to invite family members by default.

Of course Americans can act like this! See example below (situation is different, but bshows ridezillas/groomzillas are everywhere:

"Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.

Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: "Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything." [all sic]

It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them."

Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

They still don't get it do they!
I am absolutely staggered at their lack of social awareness and social etiquette.

I kind of half wish the groomzilla could be shamed in the public media as well (but not at the expense of the OP who is keeping her dignity throughout this farce)

Wtaf! A NEIGHBOUR gets priority over family?!

He lives with his mother. He’s probably known this woman all his life. For all you know she’s the mother’s best friend.