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Original poster

The Ten White Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Wedding Part 2

844 replies

jessicawessica · 23/04/2019 13:27

I've never had to start a second thread so no idea if I've done this right.
I couldn't resist the title.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
beanaseireann · 26/04/2019 12:04

What's bi ferk Hmm

YouTheCat · 26/04/2019 16:48

Being on the evening list isn't a problem unless you truly feel you should be invited to the whole event. If you're cast aside, as a close family member, in favour of having 10 groomsmen and putting on a show to your mates, then that's a bit shit.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 26/04/2019 19:05

beanaseireann bi-ferk is a new MN term (coined by AutumnCrow ) as referring to Seneca's earlier post about those up themselves/rude/two faced two tiered or bifurcated weddings where 'only the important guests' are invited to the whole shindig & lesser guests to the evening do & they must bring a gift & the whole 2 tierness is rubbed in & don't you know it!!
Not like normal weddings where you invite your nearest & dearest to the whole thing & maybe some acquaintances/work colleagues to the evening do but don't expect a gift & nobody minds.

clairethewitch70 · 26/04/2019 19:07

Next time you see DN say "such a shame, I had a very generous gift planned for you too"

SenecaFalls · 26/04/2019 19:08

And you have to say bi-ferk in a non-rhotic accent for it to work best. Smile

MitziK · 26/04/2019 19:09

I hear bi-ferk in a Dartmoor accent.

I would get DP to say it because his native accent is fucking hilarious, but I'd have to give up my MN anonymity to do so and I like being able to bitch about him on the quiet.

NataliaOsipova · 26/04/2019 19:21

I think in this case it’s “bi-ferk you” to the OP.

Grin
beanaseireann · 26/04/2019 20:14

Thank you TracyBeakerSoYeah

Kateguide · 26/04/2019 20:29

OP are are you OK? Family dramas can be a roller-coaster, just wanted to check that you were doing OK.
In the last thread I suggested giving them £20, on hearing DN reaction, I don't think he deserves anything

Testarossa44 · 26/04/2019 20:52

Wow!! weddings bring out the best in people don't they. I was bridesmaid for my best friend. She turned into a total bridezilla, demanded this that and the other. Went off on one as I had a couple of inches cut off my hair, so now I wouldn't 'match' the other bridesmaids, flatly refused to invite my boyfriend of 4 years and phoned me after I left the evening do at 9pm, screamed at me that I should have stayed till the end, I was exhausted after being up from 6am, several hours spent on my feet for the ceremony, endless photos, greeting line etc. Sorry to say but it ended our 25 year friendship. Sad really, but her behaviour just out and out shocked me ..

VforVienetta · 26/04/2019 21:57

2steps suggestion with the MRex addition is the perfect response.

Warpdrive · 26/04/2019 22:33

OP please come back. I’ve read pages and pages and now you’ve disappeared.

I know someone up the thread said to wrap it up but ignore that...there’s plenty of people on here who are waiting for the next instalment of the saga:

Has Gin Queen been actually invited, or did EXH just assume he had a plus one?
Has DB1 realised he’s being taken for a mug?
Will DM cancel if she doesn’t have transport?
Are you going to give a gift?
Are you going to extend your holiday now?

FWIW I hope DN grows up and understands how hurtful and selfish he’s been. I feel so sorry for you, your DC, your DM and your DB2.

Original poster
jessicawessica · 26/04/2019 23:39

EXH NOT going now as his invite only stated him.
Am I going to give a gift....no way. But I do like the idea of saying "That's a shame as I was going to buy you a complete set of Crown Derby".
Not seen or heard from DB1 so no idea what he's thinking.
Tried to sort out extra day on holiday, but the owner of the place has already let it to someone else . Not their fault so can't complain.
Mum still not made her mind up whether to go or not.

OP posts:
beeyourself · 27/04/2019 00:23

Maybe you could have a day out (theme park, city day?) to extend your holiday? Got to be better than sitting at home.

MRex · 27/04/2019 00:39

You were right to tell him to read his invitation then. We had similar with one of our cousins, who didn't invite partners nor kids and did evening invites; my sister's DP mentioned us all going for the weekend so we had to tell them to go and check and sure enough he wasn't invited. At least they were fair between all the cousins. As it involved a long journey for most as well, the upshot was that from 8 of us plus assorted partners and kids who would have gone and made a weekend of it, none of her cousins went. Shame really, it can be nice to have family there to celebrate. I don't really understand the thought process behind these stunted invites but obviously it worked out even cheaper for them to have no cousins at all, so maybe they'd call that a win. Someone else who liked doing evening invites might be able to clarify.

texasgurl · 27/04/2019 01:23

This entire situation is insane. I'm American, and whatever you think of us, not even Americans act like this. As I'm Southern, we are more or less told by our parents that we have to invite family members by default. They'd have to be extremely antisocial and dysfunctional not to be included. No one in this situation fits that qualification. I invited both of our extended families and only 45 people came to our wedding and reception. A wedding isn't Studio 54. Births, weddings, and funerals: Those should be the most important days in one's life, where you want everyone who has ever loved or supported you to be at your side.

MummyofTw0 · 27/04/2019 07:41

This has been a very interesting read

Good on you for sticking your ground and not going to the evening reception

IggyAce · 27/04/2019 07:50

Oh dear your DN and his fiancée really don’t seem to have a clue how to host a wedding. I just keep envisioning a room full of bored 20 something hipsters sat at round tables all getting drunk and the only family there are brides DPs db1 grooms DM and your DM.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/04/2019 07:54

So your ex was invited and not his partner??

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 27/04/2019 07:59

Just been to a wedding and the day guests were all family and a few long-standing friends of the couple, they even invited my IL’s (childhood friends with Husband) to help me with our baby as Husband couldn’t attend. The day section ended at 5, and the evening section began at 7:30. So basically family could either gracefully retire or stay on to party with the 30+ friends who came for the evening.

Two tier / section invites mostly only work when the couple are local to the venue.

CrotchetyQuaver · 27/04/2019 08:12

Just checking in to this new thread...

notmuchmoretogive · 27/04/2019 08:15

Love the new title!

I am in agreement that DN has priorities all wrong. He is still living with his mother and yet blowing so much cash on one day? Just ridiculous.

Weenurse · 27/04/2019 09:11

I also believe the wedding planning will be longer than the marriage itself.
DN very immature.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 27/04/2019 09:43

@Weenurse I knew someone that happened to. 3 years planning the perfect wedding. Savings accounts with direct debits to ensure they had everything.

Divorced within a year.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 27/04/2019 12:35

I knew someone that happened to. 3 years planning the perfect wedding. Savings accounts with direct debits to ensure they had everything.

I know a couple who were still paying off the loan they had taken out to pay for their daughters first wedding when she married for the THIRD time! The third marriage is currently still going.....