Passive aggressive meal?

[NeedAGoodUsernameThatIsntTaken]

Probably me being paronoid and reading to much into this. If you were served a toddler sized roast dinner that had overcooked vegetables and undercooked potatoes (hard on the inside and somehow soggy on the outside) made by someone who is a fairly good cook would you consider that a passive aggressive f**k you. The potatoes were worse than any supermarket own frozen potatoes I have tried. There was no crazy or any sauces. Person who served it is my Mil. She wanted us to visit on Easter Sunday, we were busy so compromised with Easter Monday. She won't have been happy with this because she wants it her way.

I would have thanked her for the delicious meal and behaved as if it was one of the best things she’d ever served. Then gone home and had a fish supper.

Did you comment? Because if it was truly awful, and is usually great, I would ask what was going on.

Just you or everyone?

Surely everyones potatoes & veg must have been equally poor? Or she woudl have had to have had double the cooking pots?

Was the meal the only strange thing that happened during your visit? Or did she make pa comments too, for example?

Maybe she didnt feel well and had no time or energy to prepare anything fancy.

Presumably your DH is able to talk to his own mother and ask whats wrong?

Was the same meal offered out to everyone?

Did she cook it on Easter Sunday anyway and reheat it the day after?

She gave you a microwave-warmed over dinner from the day before didn't she?
If you put roasties in a box while still warm they go soft on the outside like that.
She is an evil genius !
...but also takes PA to a new level of bonkers

She's given you the leftovers from Sunday. I cannot believe she didn't save you a bit of crazy though lol.

My MIL would try her best to make the perfect meal to try and make the point that she is fabulous and better than me.

She probably did make the meal on Sunday and re-heat it. Just because she wouldn't have liked that you visited on Easter Monday rather than Sunday doesn't mean she wanted her meal to be rubbish. If she is usually a good cook I'm sure she would still want to impress you. She probably just didn't realise what re-heating a day later would do to the meal.

I think you are being paranoid as I don't think there's anything passive-aggressive about her behaviour at all from what you've said here.

She didnt want tobxook on Easter Monday.

Seems quite simple.

*to cook

It could have been Sundays left overs. Didn't see her cooking it. The potatoes were undercooked on the inside. And it was very tiny portion size (2 potatoes, 2 brussels sprouts, tablespoon of carrot and swede mash, tablespoon of red cabbage and 1 small slice of meat. No gravy and no sauces/ condiments. I would be a bit embarrassed to serve a meal like that especially family and especially family I had demanded/ guilted into visiting.

I think thank you is the phrase you're looking for.

Ha! I love a bit of bonkers passive aggression! Presumably she also had to eat a plate of it too? I would have been tempted to comment along the lines of, this is the best roast you've ever served us MIL, what have you done different, if you don't mind me asking?

I think it would always be impolite to comment on someone’s cooking. She might have just been having a really off day. It’s a weird way to say fuck you! But if she is prone to being passive aggressive it is possible.

What was served to everyone else? The same?

There was no crazy or sauce? I would have just mixed the ketchup with the mayonnaise and said nothing.

She is prone to being very passive aggressive, she always uses guilt trips/ emotional blackmail (your gran is ill and it could be her last Easter). Wrote about her on mumsnet before and consensus was she is bonkers and I should go low contact. The same sized meal was served to everyone. No one commented on it

Just remember the portion size for next time she visits you.

Clearly you have been overdoing her plateful :)

This is the meal that she cooked, rang you to say it was ready to be served when you live an hour away and, crucially, she had not mentioned you being expected for before the phone call?

You posted about this on Sunday?

Yes, definitely a PA dig at you for not dancing to her tune.

You should have went for the meal the day you were invited, not told her you would come the next day.

Drogos if this is the OP I am thinking of, they weren't invited to go until the meal was on the table, and they already had plans.

Ops gravy not crazy.

Drogosnextwife really? I invited my parents on Easter Sunday 2 months prior so couldn't cancel on them to please mil.