Does your DH ask 'stupid' questions?

[Brightburn]

Urghhh! Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets fed up of their DH asking 'stupid' questions they already know the answer to but are to lazy to think for themselves so ask you to think for them.

Today's example... DH gets dirty chopping board out of dishwasher, what have you used this for this morning? ... Cutting sausages, as you watched me do it and asked me to cut yours too.

Very petty, very unreasonable but it just winds me up

Yesterday’s gem (from an otherwise usually very sensible DH)
DH: have we got any ice cream?
Me: yeah I got some this morning
DH: ooh can I have some? Where is it?
Me: erm yes, it’s in the freezer......
DH: oh yeah

Honestly that’s about as bad as it gets for us, but he does have an annoying habit of getting a little bit of spare time and trying to do ALL THE THINGS. Which then means he doesn’t spend any of that spare time with me/DD. In fairness he’s doing it because he doesn’t get chance any other time, but I wish he’d realise that it’s not essential to do EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW

I get the what's the plan all the time!! This morning though, a car is parked on the road where he prefers to park, he comes in from work and asks me whose car that is? It's on a public road, we have no visitors at the moment so how on earth would I kniw!!!??

AmphetamineGazelle you need to get s divorce. You don’t need to put up with that awful behaviour.

If my DH asks me a stupid question like “what can DD have for dinner?”I used to respond but i recognised it’s another way of me doing all the thinking. Now my response is always “I don’t know”.

Mine questions things I’ve just said, and I have no idea why. Like Sunday, when we were out:

Me: “I wish I’d brought my sunglasses.”
DH: “Oh, did you not bring them?”

Or recently:
Me: “The delivery we were expecting didn’t arrive today.”
DH: “Oh, did it not?”

It’s constant, and when I get frustrated and say something like, “Well yes actually it did, I’m lying again like I do alllllll the time” he gets annoyed!

W'ell do a big shop then DH will ask me if we have any Xxx. Yes dear, you watched me put it in the trolley, buy it, bag it and unpack it...

Mines my mum (I'm her carer though through physical issues, not mental) we have alexa and hive to make life easier for both so you can put lights or the heating on remotely without having to move or stand up. The only rooms that don't have an alexa is the bathroom and the spare bedroom so you can be heard by her everywhere.

"turn that light on/off" "will you put the heating on?" "what time is it?" "what's the weather like?" "will it be hot today?" "what is (this measurement) on inches/feet?" "is the heating on?" "what's the temperature inside?" and so on.

Her directions are back to front too, same with her rooms. She asked me to close a window in the kitchen.... I went to do so to find no windows open in the kitchen... She meant the middle room. When she's looking at my phone or computer etc and she wants me to scroll down so she can see something again she asks for "up". Causes no end of problems when she keeps saying it. Same as when she's directing something she wants doing.

‘Do you know where I’ve put my glasses?’ Nooooo I don’t f know. I have my own glasses to look after!

Mabelsgarden

Oh god, here too! We had a washer thats spin reached 100 decibels whilst we waited for it to be replaced and coupled with the oven and dishwasher on at the same time was it really any surprise that I couldn't hear what was being called through to me on a regular basis? it would seem it was given the reaction each time

@AmphetamineGazelle I just read your reply and I feel for you I'm in the same boat tbh. I end up taking my DD out on my own all the time as he can't be arsed. We live in a flat (hate it) so if it's sunny we have to trail out somewhere so she can get fresh air. also had to put furniture up myself, or "nag until it's finally done months if not a year later. I have to decorate myself more or less.

We are also struggling financially at the moment not in debt but literally have no extra cash at all, he still wants Chinese weekly, fags, coupons etc. Which I've said we need to get better jobs if we want to have the extras. I've taken steps to updated my cv and started to look. He's expecting me to update his cv and look for a job for him too. But I've said I don't mind helping but can't do it for him.

And yes the stupid question to are the icing on the cake!

Think when you have a child your tolerance for a partner not being supportive is very slim . I'm waiting till my mortgage is up for renewal so I can potentially leave.

This drives me crackers! My husband will start the question as he's opening the fridge or cupboard, so before he has actually bothered to use his own eyes at all. The stuff he's looking for tends to be in the same place too, and I have even made sure things he regularly wants are in the front of the cupboard or on the shelf directly in his eyeline in the fridge. It's obviously just a habit as very often he will stop, mid 'where is the....' and say, 'oh never mind, here it is.' After a few times of me going to him and moving his face a few millimetres so the item was right in front of his eyes I think he started to realise it drove me mad but he has no idea why I find this so infuriating!

Yes, usually "is the stuff in the dishwasher dirty?" -how about you open it and have a look?

Mine asks me, what does DD want for tea? (She will be in the next room AND IS 15, ask her, not me!!!!!!).

Oh yes.

1. What are you doing? --WTF?! Look at what I'm doing. Why are you asking me what I'm doing??
2. Did we -- I did that thing. I sent your mother a birthday gift. I bought our children new school trousers. I paid for the school dinners etc
3. Have you seen my -- Noop
4. Oh why are you doing that? I was going to do that later (good intentions but I know he wouldn't do whatever it was)
5. Questions repeated but phrased differently, like if he changes the wording I will respond with a more pleasing answer. See 3) above Also

Shouting for me when I'm busy and expecting me to come to him, rather than coming to find me. He does it to the kids too. I've pulled him up on that a lot. None of us are there to be at his beck and call.
7) Expecting a round of applause for doing anything I do as part of everyday life. 'Helping me' with things (such as making kids packed lunches) once a month for maybe two days in a row, then running out of steam. Then being hurt when I accuse him of not doing stuff.
8) I can't find any clean Well look in one of four locations. The washing machine, the tumble dryer, the line, or the washing basket (He never bothers taking his stuff upstairs - I will sort it but after that everyone is responsible for their own stuff, so he has his own laundry basket in the living room where I dump his clean stuff)
9) He also uses random words (and I mean random) in place of the real ones, and I'm expected to understand what he's on about. 'Have you seen my joob extender'
10) Forgetting literally everything I ever remind him about. I went away for a long weekend recently. I do this once a year and have done for four years now. I reminded him monthly, then weekly on the approach, then daily. He still looked surprised when I told him I was off now.
11) Prioritising. Badly.
12) Eating or drinking stuff that he knows will give him a bad tummy. Then being unavailable to do anything for the next day due to bad tummy.

Oh it goes on. He does have reedeeming features.

This drives me bonkers

At a restaurant neither of us have ever been to before - DH: "What's the nicest thing to eat here?"

He defends himself by claiming he thought I might have read a review of the restaurant which said the best dish. I guess his phone can't load up reviews, he really should get that checked out

Also, while dressing baby "what should the baby wear today?" I ignore this and leave him to it. Later "why is the baby wearing this? He is much to hot/cold". Argh! You dressed him you fool!

Yep and my nine year old DS has started with it too. I always come up with sarcastic responses.

My dad rang me asking the code for my car radio
Me "it's my date of birth"
Him "oh. Ok" (hangs up phone)
5 mins later
"When were you born?"
Me "I'm an ONLY CHILD" FFS

Just shrug say I don't know and then carry on with what you were doing
Stop enabling these people stop letting them manipulate you

I get this all the time. And to the pp who said her husband appears to be listening intently, I get this too. It's got so annoying that I don't get into any unnecessary conversation. No young children though.

OMG yes....

Also does anyones DH do this.

Me: (in a room with only 1 window) can you open the window for me..

DH: What window.....

DH: Where would you like to go today?
Me: Salisbury would be nice.
DH: gets out road map, spends 25 minutes studying it. 'I think we'll go to Cardiff'
😡 so why bloody ask me where I'd like to go? I no longer say anywhere because this has been going on for 40+ years.......

Just now.....
DH: 'Where are my car keys?'
Me: I haven't seen them (never drive his car)
DH: 'Well you must have moved them' (I haven't moved from where I'm sitting since he came back)
Cue ten minutes of him turning everything upside down.
They were where he left them, in his pocket which he swears was empty.

I will put pyjamas on, brush my teeth, put my phone away, lock the door and start going upstairs, and my eternally bewildered husband will ask, "Are you going to bed?" No, mate, I'm embarking on a one-woman scaling of the Eiger, what d'you think I'm bloody doing???

@AmphetamineGazelle hugs LTB, call a shelter, anything, good luck xx

My DH “what does (17yoDS) want to eat?”
I don’t fucking know, ask him!
Does child 1 or 2 or 3 like roasted onion? (The same question is asked every single week, children 1 and 2 do, child 3 does not)

I never answer anymore, except to say : I don’t know, you could, you know, Ask them? (Whilst in my head wondering if he will ever remember)

Next time I'm in a relationship (and I'm not in a hurry after reading this thread!) I'm going to take great delight in answering "Where's the..." with "Up your bum". Every time.

Ought to fix it

@sugarbum - my old housemate used to do the "I was going to do that later" thing with housework, especially when she'd trashed communal pans and slobbed off, leaving them full of congealed grease "to cool" for many hours. I appreciate she couldn't predict whether I'd want to use a particular pan or something but the laziness, lack of courtesy and the way she somehow managed to guilt me for doing it myself was enraging!!

Oh yes. All the time.

Usually ‘have we got any food item?’

‘Yep - in the cupboard’

‘Yeah I know which cupboard but do you know where abouts in the cupboard’

Cue me walking off in frustration when I’m being asked the exact geographic location of the teabags!