To ask you to help us with our finances?

[Giraffesarecool]

I'm normally pretty money savvy and have managed to keep us afloat during some very tight times. But I'm just baffled with how much we are spending, and how much our bills come to each month.

Our household bills come to £1700ish a month. Which seems ludicrous! We've just moved to a bigger house but it seemed manageable when I put it all down on paper. I think it is still. We pay for my car on finance, insurance, student loans (not from wages) for £30 pcm, have Amazon prime, Netflix and now TV, justified as we're stuck in the house once DS goes to bed each night. I pay insurance for my job, that isn't taking off at all.

As far as bills go I can't see any give, aside from jacking in nursery and work as that'd free up £220 ISH per month but DS is thriving and loves it there. He squeals withe excitement when we get there! Plus it gives me a break. Of I can get work fab, if not I can catch up with the house.

Our disposable income is the real crazy bit though, we have around £700 disposable which is a hell of a lot better than it has been.

We spend roughly £40/60 fuel for me (my car and being able to go places keeps me sane so not keen to cut down there if possible). Our food shop is around £70 (I used to be able to do it for £40 but it was very stressful and we ate some utter crap sometimes) including all household supplies and toiletries and beer and wine (we like a drink most evenings, although I'm cutting down for financial and health reasons). But DS is costing around £35 a week comfortably for formula, food pouches (he will not eat food I make and blend, but I am now getting him to eat tea with us where possible to save), nappies etc (he's nearly 1). We vape, as former smokers, and enjoy that as a little something for us, but that costs around £100 a month (I keep thinking about quitting but DP won't, but then I think we'll I don't really do anything for me, but I do want to quit by the time DS is old enough to realise it is what it is). We have DSS eow and we try to do cool stuff, but we are pretty pro at keeping it fun but cheap. So that comes to £580 which leaves us £120 for things like a cup of tea out and about, coffee for DP when he's on the road with work, extra bits. But the problem is, we don't have savings. So things like my car needing brakes done next week is worrying me.

I can get our food shop down, and I can get DSs shop down too I think. We have a tiny freezer so I can't really batch cook too much.

I think vaping is going to have to go really. For me anyway.

I could work weekends but we'd have zero family time and if never see DSS. Evenings aren't an option as DP is away a lot and on different days. Obviously days aren't an option as we couldn't afford the childcare. I have wondered about some casual bar work. But DP isn't keen as it feels like our family time is short and precious as it is.

I know we have far more than most, and we're very lucky. I just can't see what else we can do. Can anyone help me be a bit more clever about this money malarkey?

you could save £15+ a month by cancelling 2 out of the 3 to packages. I would start with that. I tend to alternate these 3 and only go back to now TV when they give me a really good deal which they do regularly.
Can you cut back on the vaping rather than giving it up entirely? If you both cut it by 1/3 or you halved your use if your dp wont stop then you'd save £25 to £30 there.
Again, with the drinking if you drank only half the week then you could probably save another £50 a month easily. So if I was you I would take £100 and put it into savings straight away and i doubt you'll even notice its gone. Steadily that will build up. After 3 months if you are comfortable with the slight adjustments you could up that to £150?

You really don't need three streaming services, work out which is best value for money based on how much you watch versus how much it costs and ditch the others. Cut out vaping, cut down on the petrol and the teas and coffees. Save drinking for the weekend. You have to think about things differently, really. You aren't really justified in having luxuries if you couldn't cope with an emergency cost.

It sounds like you want to make savings but without actually changing anything

Drinking, vaping, three different ways of watching TV, tea/coffee out are all optional extras. Have you done the obvious of switching all your utilities etc to cheaper tariffs?

I agree you do need a float for bigger expenses (MOT, service). Make a list of what these are over a year and therefore how much a month that is. Set up a standing order to transfer that amount (or as much as possible) from your current account to a savings account the day after pay day - if it's already gone you can't spend it.

£700 for groceries, travel and other stuff isn't really a massive amount for a family of 3.5 (DSS is .5 as not there full time but pricey weekends and holidays) but it's definitely more than do-able.

I think you could look at cutting bills. Is your income £2400 including all child benefit etc? Are you on the cheapest gas / electricity tariff? 3 streaming services seems extreme but I do understand not wanting to do away with anything nice! Perhaps you could either cancel one or two subscriptions or reduce your vaping by a similar amount.

No savings would worry me - if you're not PAYE for student loans are you self employed? If so savings do need to be a priority.

If it were me I’d cut back on the streaming services and the alcohol. If you really can cut back on vaping do that too, but nicotine is very addictive so it might be harder than you expect.

www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Put the information into here, and then either bring it back here or take it over to Money Saving Expert, and people will find it easier to help.

It's really hard to come up with coherent ideas and suggestions without a coherent picture of your finances and where that £700 (and the £1700 of bills) are going.

Is the £700 per week or per month? What about the fuel? I think some of your figures are weekly and some are monthly which makes it very difficult to tell what you are spending. There’s a lot missing too eg hoe do you pay hair cuts or clothes?

um....you have lots of disposable income.

the 3 streaming services is mad, one is fine even if you are constantly bored.

I have a feeling if you write down every penny of spending you will find you are spending lots on stuff that hasn't registered in your brain.

Mobiles? they shouldn't be more than 10 a month. Have a look at money saving expert - you can do a budget planner and get people to critique it. Making sure you have a good energy deal - I switch periodically to get cash back etc. Any space for a second freezer? Agree on vapeing.

I pay insurance for my job, that isn't taking off at all.

What do you mean by this? Are you self employed? If you are and whatever you do isn’t taking off then it’s time to look for something else.

You drink most evenings, you vape, you put your DS in nursery when it’s not strictly necessary, and you have three streaming services. They can all be cut back. It sounds like you want some magical solution which doesn’t involve you giving up any of your unnecessary expenditures.

You've given a reason for keeping everything as it is OP. If you want to save money, it has to come from somewhere. Like a PP said, why not half everything you want to keep then save the remainder.

First thing to get rid of is the attitude “oh but we deserve 3 streaming services because we have a child” “I deserve to vap because it’s for me”...it’s up to you what you cut but these two are screaming disposable!

Food shop wise: How much of your food shop is alcohol? Also your LO is nearly 1, really should be off pouches and having real food, stop buying the pouches and he will eventually eat what’s offered. Soon you can ditch the formula too so that will save money. Do you buy branded nappies?

How much is your car finance?

Amazon, netflix AND now TV is mad.

£100 a month on vaping? Holy shit that is a lot. Not to mention the money being spent on booze.

You have a very healthy disposable income at £700/month - you are choosing to spend a good bit of it on TV subscriptions, drink and vaping instead of saving for essentials such as car maintenance.

Nobody can magic more money up, so you need to either accept how things are, or give up some of the wasted areas.

Bloody hell, harsh responses!

I've just had a frank discussion with DP. Alcohol is being cut back to weekends, and I'm going to try my best to cut out vaping. Work is a funny one, it just about covers nursery, never makes money and sometimes loses money. I value my sanity and DS like I say loves it, so I'm very very reluctant to give that up. That'll be the last thing to go. With no siblings that live with us he enjoys the socialising. I'm going to start advertising for weekend work as currently only do when DS is in nursery. If not, it'll stop and I'll look for some casual bar work when DP is about. About £15 of food shop is alcohol. At present. Saying that I haven't even drank half of mine this week.

Two subscriptions are going too.

As for the pouches, DS has no teeth still. He will eat normal food but doesn't manage very much and was drinking wayyyyy too much milk. I'm talking 40oz ish. He has fresh fruit and veg with these pouches. It works for us. But I'm aware he needs to be eating more table food and milk needs to start reducing when he hits 1yo. I'm working on this.

Car finance is £117 a month. We ended up with that not through choice tbh and a necessity for me to have a car.

We don't buy branded nappies no. Lidl is the bomb!

Mobiles is an annoying one. My top up is £15 a month, DP contract is £40-50 a month! We can't leave it. But have just spoken about him getting a sim only for the same value s amine when that ends in January.

Work that “never makes money and sometimes loses money” is not work, it’s a hobby.

I’m guessing you’re a beautician/crafter/cake baker.

I get that maybe you enjoy whatever it is that you do, but if you’re worry about and have no back up fund for stuff like car maintenance, the boiler packing in, etc, your time might be better spent working at something that actually does bring in money.

Also just had a proper look at the bank and we have £800 we can save.

House moving cleared out most of our savings. We had an extra £3000 before that!

Also just had a proper look at the bank and we have £800 we can save.

House moving cleared out most of our savings. We had an extra £3000 before that!

Hmm, you're not doing too badly. But do you want more DC? Because the costs will increase, before they get lower when they go to school, and then go up again when they start doing activities and eating more.

I think you need to focus on your work, and find a way to make it more profitable. If you tell us what the work is, there are some very knowledgeable MNers around who could give you some good advice on how to increase your earnings.

It's horses. I can't see anywhere taking me on go 4 hours twice a week. I struggle with extreme tiredness and DS has been so ill I've had to take time off for him and I'd have certainly lost any job that would have offered me those hours by now.

No, no more DC, we like how life is and don't think we could handle any more crazy!

Do you have horses or do you look after other people's horses on their property or at stables somewhere?