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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the its nice weather so you must be outside brigade

157 replies

Arrowfanatic · 21/04/2019 10:03

I'll start with a bit of back story. As kids if the sun poked out even a little bit mum was in the garden & we had to be as well. We were not allowed back indoors except to use the bathroom all day and i have memories of feeling unwell from the heat and like i couldnt escape.

Now as an adult i enjoy nice weather but equally i dont feel the need to have to be out in it. My kids enjoy being inside as well, but they can come and go as they please too so they might take themselves off to the park or draw in the garden.

However it's amazing how many times I've been told "you should be outside with the kids, the weather is lovely" to the point that i feel guilty that we're not outside.

Add to this i get horrific, debilitating hayfever so outside can be painful....literally & my children are all very pale redheads so i worry they'll burn despite sun cream.

I actually quite liked last summer as because it was sunny for so long my mum especially let off some of the pressure of saying we should be outside as the weather was here to stay. But now we're expecting rain again in a few days shes shocked I've told me kids they can have a movie day indoors as thats what they've asked for.

OP posts:
JustAnotherPoster00 · 21/04/2019 11:19

I like the rain but don't go on at people to enjoy that!

^^This, a hundred times this

MaybeitsMaybelline · 21/04/2019 11:21

I agree with you OP, i burn easily but that isn’t the issue, i can protect myself. I actually dont enjoy being out in the heat, i feel sick and dizzy and lethargic. I love the sunshine and bright blue skies, and i do go out when its cool in an evening or morning.

But right now? Just because it suits being outside for one person doesnt mean it suits being outside for another. It’s like when it is chucking it down and blowing a gale, i love nothing better than donning warm waterproof clothing and walking in it. I think its good for you, everyone should do it, there are plenty that would disagree.

People should accept that for some people you actually shouldn’t be outside, as in everything in life, one man’s meat and all that.

Torytop · 21/04/2019 11:21

The compulsory ‘making the most of it’ brigade are incredibly tiresome. Sometimes when the sun is splitting the stones I want to stay indoors and watch black and white films and fester, and the ideal beach as far as I am concerned is shingly on a midwinter day and long enough for a good walk.

MollyHuaCha · 21/04/2019 11:23

Go outside if and when you want to.

If your mum ridicules you for not being outside when it's sunny, remind her that too much sun leads to malignant melanoma.

Dermatologist friends of mine seek to get small amounts of sun on bare skin. After the 15 minutes or so of vitamin D benefit, they see to cover up or move into shade.

RaffertyFair · 21/04/2019 11:27

YANBU OP

I realise that this might sound smug, but I hope not. I had bifolding doors put in and they are fantastic!

I have red hair, fair skin, burn at the drop of a hat, can't cope with heat but love my garden. I garden when it's cool / shady and then when it's sunny I open the doors and get all the joys of the garden including fresh air, but can remain inside the house. With the doors completely open, the room feels completely different - like a property programme might say, it brings the outside in! The north facing front room is always cool so I have that option too. It is the best of all worlds for me.

I potter in and out so get direct exposure to sunlight but not concentrated enough to burn.

LadyRannaldini · 21/04/2019 11:27

Our garden is impossibly hot in Summer, we're lucky that the sitting room is on the other side of the house and is beautifully cool for most of the day.

PookieDo · 21/04/2019 11:30

I’ve been living in a flat for 10 years with no garden and a horrible very busy main road with no pedestrian access to cross to get to the park so I am much more of the mindset now I have a nice garden we all need to spend some time out there during the day (vit D etc) but I would not insist it had to be a set amount of time

I’ve been pottering cleaning decorating, out in the sun etc and I set the grass up for DC they came and went as they pleased it has been lovely but I also have large french doors from lounge to garden so even if you sit in, it’s still like being ‘out’ in a way

I cannot be bothered to go out out for a day trip it will be so busy and crammed and boiling I would rather paint my kitchen

I think there is pressure to go on day trips in hot weather but my DC prefer to go when it’s cooler weather

lotusbell · 21/04/2019 11:34

I have found my people!

Danglingmod · 21/04/2019 11:39

Mine too!

I bet the people moaning at you don't get outside nearly as much as you during the colder months otherwise why the issue?

It's about perfect for me today. Any hotter and I practically pass out.

There's no moral high ground in preferring hot weather over milder!

JustAnotherMillennial · 21/04/2019 11:42

YANBU OP, don't get me wrong I do love the sun but not in very hot weather unless I am near a beach. Often in the morning I will take the kids for a bike / run etc before it heats up. We have a small garden, I will let the kids spend time (about an hour) out there before I want them indoors because I don't want to over-heat them or get sunburn.

My MIL (who is olive skinned) is constantly banging on about how I need to spend more time in the sun. Er, I am fair skin, blonde, already got sunburnt heaps growing up in NZ. So I don't want to increase my chances of melanoma even more. Never mind heat increases my risks of having a seizure...

That said I do like sitting in the inside with the sun shining through but the aircon is on.

But yes I definitely prefer winter more.

PookieDo · 21/04/2019 11:43

I have awful melasma skin changes on my face and sun makes it so much worse so going out for a whole day even with factor 50 and a hat seems make me look even more like a panda

Margot33 · 21/04/2019 11:43

My dark husband is very much, come outside its sunny. Me and the girls can only be in it around twenty minutes at a time as we are pale blondes. My husband is outside sunbathing right now. The children and I are sitting inside, hence lots of tutting and a vitimin D mention from the husband!

NoSauce · 21/04/2019 11:43

Don’t worry about what other people say about the weather.
Do what suits you surely?

PrincessButtockUp · 21/04/2019 11:47

I'm with you OP. I have a very outdoorsy family. I'm very indoorsy. That said, we were out all day Friday at an event, but we were moving around a lot and chatting to people so it was ok. I do not want to "sit in the garden" when I have a much more comfortable chair in the house, thanks. I wear glasses, but don't get on with prescription sunglasses, so end up blinded. I don't like the feel of sunscream on my skin, and don't like feeling prickly with heat, so can't win. Or at least, I could if I was left alone to live my life in ways that make me happy. Like when it snows!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 21/04/2019 11:52

My mother is like this. I am out twice a day with the dog in all weathers. Kids cba - yesterday we were outside all day, this morning they haven't ventured out of their rooms, but DH and I had a lovely long walk with dog. Now sitting watching the cricket with the doors open to the garden

BlueBuilding · 21/04/2019 11:53

I'm enjoying the nice weather, but understand what you mean.

I love freezing cold days, when is hammering it down and having the perfect excuse to sit indoors and watch films.

I always feel guilty about 'wasting' a sunny day too.

My two went outside, looked at the sunshine and were immediately struck down with Hayfever and heat rash Hmm

Fundays12 · 21/04/2019 11:54

I think it’s personal choice. We do tend to be out a lot when it’s good weather but I don’t force my kids to stay out for hours. They can come in and out of the house as they please although are not allowed to sit and play computer games as that’s something I reserve for horrible wet days. I don’t want to be outdoors all day so don’t expect my kids to be. I do find it much cheaper though when the weather is better as we have loads of fantastic parks, forest walks and nice beaches nearby so just pack a picnic and go plus no tumble dryer costs.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/04/2019 11:55

That is one of the many great things about being an adult. You want to go outside, go outside. You want to stay in, do that. Who cares what others think

mollyblack · 21/04/2019 11:58

Hello my friends! I can't be bothered with hot sunny days, they make me feel depressed and lethargic. It is sooo hard to tell people this- no one gets it. I hate the expectation that you must have fun, be out, enjoy it etc. I do like outdoors and so outdoorsy things all year round. I don't feel guilty any more though- and I live in scotland so I know it wont last and the glorious grey skies will be back soon Grin

Cherrysoup · 21/04/2019 12:02

Do you live with your mum? Cos if not, why on Earth are you telling her everything you do or listening to her nonsense? Stop over sharing everything with her!

fluffyhamster · 21/04/2019 12:09

Another YANBU here!

I'm very fair-skinned and burn easily. I hate all the slathering of sun cream that is required to spend more than about 20 mins outside.

Yesterday I braced myself for it and did a whole load of garden jobs - potting up etc .

Today there is nothing I want to do outside. DH says go out and read my book, but it's too hot and it's on kindle and the screen isn't great, and there are flies and wasps and the man next door is doing his lawn AND the neighbours' noisy kids have been on the trampoline for over an hour now...
Bah! Humbug! Give me a cloudy day....

M3lon · 21/04/2019 12:11

yanbu. enforced fun isn't actually fun.

senbei · 21/04/2019 12:14

Just live your life in a way you feel is best for you. As long as you're healthy and happy, who cares about other meddlesome people and their frivolous opinions.

Noobcrumble · 21/04/2019 12:16

I’m another one for not being outside every single second it is sunny! Anyone like the OP who suffers from hay fever will understand this, plus instead of developing a beautiful tan I go blotchy and sweaty and feel dizzy - great!! My son is also pale skinned and over-heated at his nursery which really annoyed me as a staff member admitted she wanted to get a tan in the sun!! Also heard parents sheepishly admit that they have let their kids out in the sun too much but don’t they have a lovely tan Confused Everyone’s different and yes, I do envy those who go on about the “glorious” weather when all I can do is nod weakly whilst holding a tissue to my nose with sweat dripping from my forehead Grin

Ilove31415926535 · 21/04/2019 12:17

I assume you're a grown up as you have your own DC. One of the best things about being a grown up is not having to do what your Mam tells you! I'm very very pale, dark hair, green eyes, and i don't tan. I like to be outside, but I know my limitations. I don't care for feeling sick, dizzy, too hot etc, so enjoy some sun, then go inside for a bit! This Mam says so Wink