To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Coffee for breakfast, salad for lunch, wine and Reformer Pilates. Lots of picking at things and wierd food exclusions. Tend not to have a sit down job.

Of course class, obesity and income are all correlated.

I just spent a couple of days in a very poor British seaside town. Pretty much the only visible food options were donuts, fish & chips or burgers. People here were BIG, also mostly smokers, lots of mobility scooters.

I once went to Santa Monica. Seaside town on the other side of the world and extremely wealthy. Avocado salads everywhere, people exercising on the beach, an actual exercise class happening in the mall with huge uptake.

Re the obese nurses/ doctors, I was a nurse in the '80s, and it was rare to see an overweight (let alone obese) nurse. The weight fell off me in my first couple of years and I was underweight for a while. It was an extremely physical job, low wages meant we sacrificed food for things like buying clothes and going out (lol) and it was normal to miss mealtimes at work.
Stress affects people in different ways, it makes me lose weight because I feel sick, and I've always lost weight when I've been short of money ... can't think why. Oh yeah, not being able to afford very much food. That and having to walk more because of not having money for transport.

@Yura, but that was my life too for many years but I still tried to fit in exercise when I could and watched what I ate. But that's because being slim was very important to me so was prepared to make the super extra effort and sacrifices to get there.

You can lose weight by diet only but its better if you had some level of exercise too although I found that it's more a case of helping with determination than actually losing the weight.

I just spent a couple of days in a very poor British seaside town. Pretty much the only visible food options were donuts, fish & chips or burgers. People here were BIG, also mostly smokers, lots of mobility scooters

I have seen this too. Still confuses me. Smoking is so EXPENSIVE! Also, didn't people used to smoke in lieu of food to keep their weight down?

The doctor in this advert and the woman at the end certainly weren't poor working class.

How did this change into people eating junk food all the time? Is it because it's pushed at us so much? The eating out culture was much rarer long ago.

In all seriousness, if you can afford it Reformer Pilates is worth it. I think lots of mums do fitness apps these days - short ten min workouts at home.

I remember in my first office job I had to walk there and back as I had no car and the bus routes weren't up to much. Lovely and slim. I worked with a slightly older girl who could afford her first car. She stopped walking to/from work and piled on weight and she then had to join the gym

I just spent a couple of days in a very poor British seaside town. Pretty much the only visible food options were donuts, fish & chips or burgers
Where's that? Not one supermarket in that town? Are residents stuck with only getting food from the tourist minded shops?

Holidays: a lot of MC women go on holiday a lot, ie every half term or termly. Therefore if you know you're going to be in a swimsuit/bikini every 6-12 weeks then you may do your best to stay in shape.

Also I live between a WC area and a MC area and the difference is astonishing. I rarely see fat women in the MC area they are usually pushing buggies in gym wear.

Moreover in Asda in the WC area all the special offers at the end of the aisles are all for crisps, ketchup, mayonnaise, rubbish food etc. Guess where the 2 Waitroses are located?

every single medical study shows that obesity rises with deprivation, and drops with an increase in household income
it rises with shift work and in people with low qualifications, and what are described as low skill jobs
while obesity has generally risen in all social classes in past 30 years it has risen more in lower socio-economic groups

These studies are huge and the data is unavoidable however it doesn't mean every poor person is fat or every wealthy person is fine but that on average socio-economic factors are a big part, the effects are greater on women than on men

reasons are multiple but low socio-economic groups find healthy eating unaffordable fruit and veg are expensive, while walking is free all other sports either require equipment or fees even running requires decent running trainers cycling needs a bike swimming is often £4 per person per session
the only treats they can afford cost £1-2 pounds so a packet of doughnuts, a few cans of beer, a bag of haribo large bar of chocolate same for their kids sweets are much cheaper than comics even

if you are middle class you can afford swimming gym classes 5 portions of veg per day, you are more likely to have a partner to share childcare with, you can afford a dog you are more likely to be not depending on a corner shop, lots of supermarkets do not deliver to the high rise flats where the most deprived live

I am fat because

• I learnt bad eating habits as a child, my parents were dirt poor so when they emigrated here and had an abundance of food they went overboard ( this is a documented effect of people who are starved and then move somewhere food is abundant) .

• I was not naturally sporty and my parents weren't either so I didn't develop good exercise habits

Bit the main one is I am just too lazy and not disciplined enough to do the work required to stay slim. Since I have been at least overweight ( morbidly obese nowadays) most of my life with only a couple of short periods of being slimish , In'm used to it. I don't particularly like it but being fat is not the centre of my life. A lot of the time, I don't think about it any more, especially as I am now old and don't care about being attractive any more. It just seems like too much effort for not enough reward to me, though I appreciate that is almost certainly wrong thinking.

I just can't get the motivation to care about it much any more. I know it means I will probably die earlier than I would if slimmer but I still don't seem to care enough. In the end it is about motivation really.

Haha, my local is waitrose, walking distance but instead I drive 15 mns to Asda because there is more choice of healthy products (love their low fat salads).

There’s body shape too. I’m descended from a long line of ordinary/poor people and I’m short and hippy.
Often, the posher you are, the taller, broader shouldered and more in proportion you are. This sort of body shape can take on the calories without it looking too much the worse for it and will look amazing when person is dieting.
I always think of someone like Jane Birkin as representing this look. I remember in an interview she said she felt so liberated when she stopped wearing make up. I felt cheated, as a posh person with a tall rangey body can easily wear men’s t shirts and jeans and go without make up. I’d look like a little plumber if I followed that code.

The idea of dieting is alien to me. I have never dieted. It doesn’t take any mental energy because I don’t do it. I’ve always been slim and I’m 50. I eat carbs and chocolate and cake and biscuits.

TeacupDrama excellent post, you are spot on.

Swingofthings the Asda near me is in a WC whereas the Asda close to my friend, in a MC area, sells a lot more "naice" food.

Proof go to supermarkets in different areas and the food range will be markedly different.

*bumblingbovine49, thank you for a finally honest post. I have much more respect for you being so than fat people who try to blame cost of healthy food or lack of funds to afford gyms for being overweight.

Being slim is hard, very hard. It's just come down to how much you want to be slim (you don't have to) and how much you stop making excuses why it is not your fault and give yourself a kick in the bottom.

I've put on 5 pounds recently thanks to middle age. It's affecting all of my friends of the same age. I know that I need to reduce what I eat and nothing else as exercising plenty.

I don't want to reduce what I eat. Eating brings me comfort so I'll have to decide whether to accept myself as I am and be envious of the slim women my age, or resist temptation to be happy with my shape. Either way, it's my choice and the power is in my hands, irrespective of money and time.

Social contagion isn't it?
Everybody compares themself to those around them, what's that Greek saying, the beggar envies the beggar who got more today craftsman is jealous of the craftsman's raise, the singer of the singer's audience.. etc.

So basically we only compare ourselves to those in our immediate realm. Celebrities being size 6 doesn't really put us under that much pressure to be size six.

In my realm, size ten is acceptable but i know in glossier circles than the one I mix in, size 8 is the standard.

the Asda near me is in a WC whereas the Asda close to my friend, in a MC area, sells a lot more "naice" food
No sorry the Asda in my town is in the worse economical area.

That's interesting Swing do you think it must be demand then?

Oh it's a total class issue.

I remember driving through south west London...the pavements were dominated by joggers. I'm a size 14 and feel like a supermodel walking through some rougher parts of south east London!

Food is really cheap, easy, quick way to pleasure. If you don't have much in your life to look forward to or enjoy, things like smoking, drinking and eating are more tempting. If you have lots of interesting, lovely holidays, night out, social occasions, you don't need to seek out cheaper pleasures.

lol at the mama regina georges!

Time is a factor as much as money. When I was {gasp} a single mother trapped at home unable to afford to work because childcare for two would have wiped out everything - I was still the same person, despite all the awful demonisation of single mothers blah blah, so I was walking everywhere (no car) to school and back again, to school and back again for the early pick up, 20 minutes at home and then back again for the second pick up. The school was in the opposite direction to the supermarket. I used to cook from scratch nearly every night. I was a rail back then. Fast forward a decade and I just read something about the children of WORKING single mothers being the most likely to be obese and I can see that. I've no time, but I have a bit more money for pizza chips and chinese!

I know quite a few of these middle class 'Range Rover Set' type women. Basically they just don't eat much.

They live off of coffee a lot of the time, rushing around with their cups on the school run etc and when they go out for a meal they will have a very small salad (basically because they have to order something) and a shit load of prosecco. They don't even really go to the gym or anything, they just eat very little.

I don't know whys of any of it, but that's just my observation. The ones, like me, who will have burger and chips plus dessert on a meal out and generally do like food, are bigger/'normal' size (note, I am not really part of the Range Rover Set, we definitely don't have one, but I do socialise with them a bit cos I'm fancy like that )

I think Teacup is right as well with their post.

@formerbabe, psychology and philosophy and reading and exercise, creating art, listening to music are the pleasures that can get a poor person through life

I never felt that two weeks in st lucia was the answer when I was poor. I wanted even when I was BROKE to appreciate the ground beneath my feet.

Rich people can throw money at their emptiness too.