To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

I live in a wealthy area (I myself don’t have two beans to rub together) and what strikes me is how many women I see going to exercise classes/yoga/for a run during the day. So they obviously have time to themselves when they also are not working. That’s what I have always personally lacked. As a result am always a bit overwhelmed, knackered, stressed, in a rush, grabbing a biscuit to keep myself going. Just my personal experience. I also kept very fit when my DCs were in a pushchair and found it difficult thereafter (ie walking at a snail’s pace!)

Somebody upthread has already said it but money buys time. People can have childcare to give them respite to go to the gym or for a run. When all their peers are also doing it this becomes a social activity rather than a chore. It also potentially buys services like gym membership, personal trainer, dietician etc.
Plus yes you can make healthy choices on a budget but if your budget isn’t limited you can just pick up what you fancy. I’d rather have soft fruit with high protein low fat yoghurt/skyr and maybe a sprinkling of granola but it’s many multiples the price of porridge with banana.
For me the biggest thing is definitely what my friends are doing. I’m struggling to motivate myself to get fitter. Once I finally get out of the door to a Prams in the park class (cost) I will meet people who’ll expect me to turn up again, who are slim and fit, which will probably encourage me to make a bit more effort with my diet. If I just go for a run with the baby in a buggy (free - although the buggy was pricey) then I just come back home and eat half a packet of cookies before I get in the shower.

"I mean, this was not the case in previous decades, was it? Or was it? I really don't know. Would like to discuss."

I would say it was a bit actually, at least for the lower middle class housewives I knew when growing up. Being at home all day did mean there was temptation to eat quite a bit and quite a lot of boredom, but the average person was so much slimmer in the 80s.

I really think going to the gym is an odd thing to do. I don’t know anyone who does this. It’s quite a recent phenomenon. I’m very slim just because I’m busy all day and don’t have a car. I have no time to go to the gym.

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed, the number of middle class slim mums who have a cleaner and the funds to buy nice already cooked healthy food is not the majority at all.

I've bought supermarket pizza regularly. But instead of thinking which one will make me feel satisfied with lots of cheese and dough, I opt for a healthier version. The Asda Fajita one is under £2 and quite healthy.

It's all a lot of excuses pour to justify getting one from domino that is probably twice if not 3 times more calorific.

"I have definitely found a snobbery towards weight loss groups. And weight loss products. "

Yep, they look down on any processed foods. Muller yogurts are the examples given here. I used to wonder so much why presumably overweight women were looking down on diet food, until I finally got it.

"I got fat "eating clean" and thin eating Muller lights. So my guts are obviously working class whatever my sensibilities may decide otherwise"

Yep. It's about the calories.
My attempts to eat more healthily at the work canteen also led to me putting on weight - getting something with veg meant getting a bigger meal than a sandwich and more calories.

I put weight on during maternity leave but losing it now I'm back at work part time. Is this an option for you, OP? To get you out of the house? I walk home from work, via childminder every lunchtime and walk to do school pick up, so this totals at least 1 hour walking every day.
Does your toddler nap? Stick them in the pushchair before with a blanket and go for a walk then.

It totally is about money/class.

Stress (over money, housing etc) makes your fatter. Working shifts makes you fatter. Lack of sleep makes you fatter. Having a lovely kitchen and access to whatever ingredients you want encourages you to only have a smaller amount of really tasty food, rather than stiff yourself with Cadbury's dairy milk. If you grow up "posh" you are more likely to see yourself as being valuable enough to dedicate time to looking after yourself/going to the gym etc. I could go on.

Obviously is possible to be poor and slim, whether by good genes or hard work, ditto rich and fat, but to deny that it's a factor is bonkers.

"I am always surprised at the hospital when I see so many overweight - even obese - nurses and doctors. Not only are some of them presumably middle-class, but they should be the most educated about the repercussions of that"

Working nights and long shifts is what causes the problems here I think.
I think if you look at all types of doctors, including GPs, they're generally healthier and slimmer than the average.

I've read through the thread and understand that some of the issues you are having go beyond weight/diet/exercise. However sometimes a change in lifestyle that makes a change in how we feel about our bodies/ourselves can be a catalyst for all sorts of positive change and obviously this issue is one that is bringing you down, So I'm going to advise based on the first post. First off I'd suggest getting a balance bike for your toddler. Nearly 3 is the perfect age. Ideally get one with good, pneumatic tyres and a brake and make sure that the wheels are small enough for your toddler to comfortable 'walk' while sitting on the saddle. Then go out on it regularly along a smooth bike track if you can find one near you. At first you'll be able to walk alongside your toddler, then you'll have to speed walk/jog. After a couple of months you will have to get yourself a scooter/skates to keep up. It's both great exercise and great, exhilarating fun. A lifestyle adaption rather than exercise.

With my diet, I always find that limiting processed sugar and eating all the fruit and veg I want is a fantastic start to weight loss and increased energy levels. I also aim to have a high protein, egg based breakfast which fills me up for hours and eliminates snacking throughout the day. Everything follows on easily once I've had a great breakfast.

I always thought it was good genetics that got them married to wealthy men in the first place. They all have thick hair too. I live in a town with a well regarded private school in the middle of it. All the girls have the most amazing long thick hair and are as a rule tall and slim too. Good genetics.

I’m struggling to motivate myself to get fitter
And that's why you are not fit, sorry. Little to do with money. It's not a criticism, we all suffer from difficulty to motivate ourselves, but some do and some don't.

Whether circumstances makes it easier for some is irrelevant because if you can't motivate yourself, it doesn't matter how much time or money you have, you still won't do it., the sane that if you do have great motivation you will find it.

Certain things help motivation though, like a David Lloyd membership!

echt. That’s really interesting data. Would certainly seem to be a link to income/educational attainment.

What lonely said on page 1.

Weight loss is mainly diet. Diet / making better food choices requires a certain amount of willpower. Willpower is not an infinite resource. If your life is more precarious in other ways (worries about money, sleep, study, housing that require your attention) your diet will likely get less of a look-in. And if you live in a “food desert” where the nearest thing is Iceland... and so on.

Good genetics
Or healthy lifestyle from birth.

I'm not sure what social class I am but I've always been skinny. In my case I think its a mix of natural build and lifestyle.

I don't drive so I walk almost everywhere. DS is basically like a Labrador so we spend a lot of time at the park usually with me carrying a bike or scooter.
I like walking/hiking so DS comes out with me. He's just turned 3 and he can walk for about 2h now (with the odd piggy back so more exercise for you!)

I don’t think you can generalise that stress or shift work makes you fatter. It’s the opposite with me. Stress makes me lose weight rapidly because because I’m so knotted up I don’t feel hungry and can’t eat. I work shifts too, as do all my colleagues, and no one is fat.

Certain things help motivation though, like a David Lloyd membership!
Do you know that the vast majority of people who join DL will give it up after 3 months? A gym is nothing without motivation and willpower.

Amazed how do many posters seem to think that middle class lifestyle mean no stress! I was sooooo less stressed when I had no money! Work brings the nice income and work brings the worse stress.

It’s purely time for me. When I am not slammed with work, I can concentrate on losing weight, eating well, healthy exercise. When I am busy, it goes out of the window. I don’t have the brain power.

I’d say I’m firmly middle class and work full time in a managerial role.

OP have you thought about slimming world? Loads of mums at school have done this successfully and found it motivating. Worth a try!

I’d say I’m firmly middle class and work full time in a managerial role

Yes, I have always worked in admin roles, so I leave work at work and go home at 5pm on the dot - never to think about it again until I am back in the office.

Whereas managers seems to work all the hours and often get called in at weekends because of various crises and so on. They are also often studying to develop their careers.

I should think middle-class managers have more of a struggle with time than I do, for instance.

Would your child go in a cycle seat the kind that you attach to your bike? My dd is almost 2 and have just got one as she insists on walking everywhere now which means we end up carrying /chasing and is tiring. She loves it in there and we have managed to actually go for a family bike ride. I will definitely be using the bike more now.

I have an 18m old and am due dc2 in July. I’m usually a size 10.

I think part of it is genetics. But also it’s hard work and finding the time to exercise. It’s exhausting but it’s good for my mental as well as my physical health.

I’m lucky in that dh loves to cook and studied sport and nutrition at uni (he’s now an accountant). He’s always been very into fitness. I’m the opposite really. Hated the gym but really got into it after having ds. It gave me my “me” time. I go three times a week. Once with a trainer and twice on my own. I do 35 minute sessions as am not allowed to do any more now I’m pregnant but can fit this into my day as go at lunchtimes. I chose my gym because it’s a 10 minute walk from work and from ds’ nursery. So can pick him up before 6 if I go after work.

We eat well. I rarely drink. I have had the odd glass of wine while pregnant but before that it was a rarity (although I love it!) but can’t handle the fuzzy hungover feeling and early mornings with ds.

I drink a lot of water. Move around a lot. And try to snack on healthy stuff.

I love food though. Give me some sort of melted cheese chicken wrap and I’m a happy bunny. I love chips. I love pizza. I love to cook.

It's less about class and income, and more about self control and discipline. Though if your life is pleasant in other ways, it's easier to have some self discipline over your eating. If you're already having a tough time practically, emotionally or financially you often don't have the mental energy to 'diet'.