To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

psychology and philosophy and reading and exercise, creating art, listening to music are the pleasures that can get a poor person through life

Yes!

Supermarkets adjust their stock for their area. My area has been gentrified and a supermarket near me has changed. In has come artisanal type bread and deli counters and a sushi bar , and they weren’t there before. A friend in a different area says theirs has been downgraded and they can’t get products they used to get.

Yes OP it's a class issue and a money issue.

In your case it seems to be largely a DH issue - he prioritises gym time every night while you are stuck home and depressed? Time for some role reversal.

@davespecifico, lol that is so true! so brave, to go without make up when your hair is long and smooth and your teeth are white and straight and your skin is golden and your legs are long.

I'm not down on myself but that naturally attractive (never even tried to aim for naturally beautiful) look is harder work for more ordinary folk. My teeth weren't straight. My legs weren't long. My skin wasn't golden. My hair was frizzy. I'm talking in the past tense!

I do think weight/obesity is related to income. I notice the difference in my home town (home counties, commuter area) to where my inlaws live (less affluent, more socially diverse) and when i go on holiday in the uk.

@NaBiAgOl

You are talking about cultural capital there.

There absolutely is a trend towards wealthier (regardless of class, but obviously there are more middle/upper middle class people in 'wealthy' bracket) Brits being slimmer than poorer people.

If you imagine having a nanny or au pair and how much time that would free up or if you had a cleaner so weren't constantly cleaning up after your family- you'd have a lot of extra time to go to the gym, run etc. or just time to yourself so that you didn't feel like stress-eating all the time.

If you had lots of fun and interesting activities lined up (tennis, lunch with your friends, that skiing holiday next month) then you would feel less overwhelmed and less like over-eating.

Wealth also equates to being able to afford more expensive healthy foods.

I agree with anotherBadavator that it's a good idea to work on the other aspects of your life that are difficult/feel out of control- you might find that once things feel more balanced it becomes easier to lose weight.

Op you sound like you lost yourself a bit. Try to meet some new people, sure they won't think you're fat, a lot of it is how you feel.
It is true that veg and even fruit doesn't have to be expensive but good quality meat is and cheaper cuts need more work. People fill up on carbohydrate, bread and chips are the worst.

To make matters worst my husband prioritises his gym sessions nightly and looks amazing at the moment.

You have a DH problem. Why is his free time a priority?

I haven't read your entire thread but will later on. Your DH does seem to be a bit of a knob though.
There are lots of things you could easily do to kickstart your weight loss. If you go low carb and do it hard, you will lose your extra appetite in days. This can be cheaply done if you go to Aldi or Lidl. Once you're in ketosis, hunger will just go. It isn't really fully sustainable for many long term although I have been doing a moderate form for years but you can definitely re-introduce carbs in the form of veg etc.
I make soups using frozen veg and buy prawns and mussels frozen from places like Farmfoods - 3 big bags of good prawns for a tenner so you do not have to spend much to get good, nutritious food for relatively little. Lidl olive oil tastes great and is a couple of quid and their cottage cheese is amazing.

That's interesting Swing do you think it must be demand then?
I work with people where most earn much above minimum wage and some are probably in the 10% nationally if not 5%. Yet not one of them do their main shopping in Waitrose or M&S. Everyone do either Tesco, Asda or Aldi.

Maybe I'm the odd one but where I live, only the very very selected family live the upper life described here with nannies, gardeners and cleaners. All the middle class people I know, including doctors, don't and only a minority are a member of a gym. Yet indeed, most are either slim or average weight.

I don't know of any rich men that have fat or dowdy wives
Pierce brosnan is the only man in the papers with a normal looking wife

Maybe I'm the odd one but where I live, only the very very selected family live the upper life described here with nannies, gardeners and cleaners. All the middle class people I know, including doctors, don't and only a minority are a member of a gym. Yet indeed, most are either slim or average weight

I actually agree with this except I don't think the supermarket thing fits under the same umbrella!!

Most of my circle of friends is very middle class. Not upper class, no nannies or housekeepers or any of that nonsense. Very few of them are gym members. Mostly they just eat healthily and have low-stress lives.

But quite a few of them do shop at Waitrose!

Where I live most middle class people seem to shop at Aldi or Lidl - Waitrose is always empty and Morrison's and Tesco are filled with working class people who like named brand stuff and won't ever entertain the likes of Lidl as it's not familiar. If you look in a typical Lidl v Tesco shopping trolley round here the contents are starkly different. The Lidl shoppers tend to have lots of fresh produce and the Tesco shoppers are piled high with convenience food.
I am upper working class/lower (at best) middle class so am totally allowed to make these sweeping generalisations of course.

I am slim at 47 though - despite being a bit of a prole. Am a low-carb Lidlite - that's my social marker.

There are countless studies on the link between health outcomes and wealth - Google them if you're interested. It's not rocket science. Money = access to better quality foods, personal trainers and gym classes, more leisure time, more sleep.

I think there’s more social pressure on upper middle / upper class women to be not just thin, but toned and fit. It’s about signifying your status as much as anything.

And then of course they have the resources (time, money, expertise, mental energy) to help them achieve that.

I think the term "middle class" can refer to so many groups though: if you work in an office or as a nurse or teacher you are probably "middle class" but don't have much money. And inevitably eat muller lights (I thought I was middle class until someone said middle class people don't eat them - what?!) Most people who would say they are middle class can't afford nannies or cleaners or even a gym membership in some cases. Then at the other end of the spectrum you have the horsey range rovers set who are most definitely "upper middle class" (ie posh). I used to think they were just upper class but now I have a couple of friends in that set they tell me they aren't... So the whole class discussion here is a bit confusing as everyone means different things when they are talking about "middle class".
Also, lots of people talking about the majority of people in their social group being size 6 or 8. Is that even healthy unless they are all really short as well?

LaurieMarlow nail on the head. It's not hard to be skinny but toned and fit is another ball game.Yes, it can be done for free but the parkrun in freezing February is a lot less appealing than a pricey warm workshop full of scented candles and Lululemon.

Where I live most middle class people seem to shop at Aldi or Lidl

True of me too, but I’m in Ireland.

I love the fact that they don’t sell loads of tempting crap.

And I also love the aisle of madness, but that’s another story.

And inevitably eat muller lights (I thought I was middle class until someone said middle class people don't eat them - what?!) This has made me laugh a lot. Brilliant.

Yes, I know what you mean re “middle class”. It seems as if a lot
of different people in the UK identifies as middle class. Teachers, nurses, doctors etc and then people with massive mansions with stables etc. I think “upper class” seems to cover royalty and not a lot else. I don’t even know what working class covers now, as I don’t imagine some of the tradespeople and taxi drivers who used to be my neighbours in a seriously fancy suburb outside London would count. Or do they? Very confusing !

It has a different meaning in the states as well, which can confuse people. If this thread title appeared on momsnet or whatever they have there, it would be a totally different conversation!

That stage where your toddler won't go in the buggy and can't walk far is what micro scooters are made for - they can scoot along while you walk. Expands your range quite painlessly.

But your main problem is your DH not pulling his weight and you need to lay that out for him. If he wants to go to the gym every day he can get up early or go in his lunch hour at least half the week.

And you need to be much firmer about carving time out for yourself. It's too easy when you have children to let your space and time become the least valuable, so that even if you have something planned there's an assumption it will be cancelled if your partner wants to go for a drink after work/child is a bit off-colour/teenager wants a lift. Assert your right to have and do things for yourself.

A good place to start is to book an exercise class twice a week, say I'll be at spin/Pilates/swimming from 7-9 on Tuesday and 10-12 on Saturday and DON'T back down when your H double-books because he "forgot", "it's just this once" etc. By showing you value yourself you hopefully create a virtuous circle in which you actually feel better about yourself because you're getting fitter, have more headspace, a better social life while also making clear to H and children that you're more than a domestic appliance.

I'm a SAHM and nearby baby groups can be quite working class (mostly visited by mums who aren't working as they can't afford to cover the childcare) or quite middle/upper class (lots of mums with PhD's working part time, quite a few dads and grandparents).

So apart from the fact that indicates that working class mums have less childcare support, the groups themselves are quite different.

The working class groups usually have cake and biscuits for the adults and the mums sometimes snaffle a bit of the kids' food at snacktime. The middle class ones have tea only for the parents and I've never ever seen one nibble the kids' food.

Place marking

Really interesting thread