To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

There are DC now who start taking extras to stock up on from.school meals in the run up to school holidays, because they won't get fed over the holidays because of lack of money.

Didn't rtft. So sorry! But I do believe it's a class thing too, when we were at our lowest money time we basically lived on whatever food we could stock up on and the kids got the fruit, meat and veg. I comfort binges on bread ( the cheapest white crap) and when we got any money we'd say feck it we deserve a take out. It's all comfort eating when funds are low and you spend your life wishing things were better instead of getting out for free and running etc.Saying that In general the people I know with the best figures are regular gym goers I know do about 5 classes a week, eat foods I had never heard of and talk about things like a chocolate bar as if they're the biggest treat.

I am not saying the slim people I know don't enjoy food but they seem to seriously limit the food they do eat. They skip one or two meals a day and have just 1 or 2 pieces of pizza or chocolates. They have great will power and stick to it. Salads for dinner only. Tiny portions. I find it very hard to just have 1/2 chocolates or pizza, I tend to be good and then binge. It takes constant discipline which much be hard and a bit boring.

I'm slim and basically eat and drink what I like but I'm also pretty energetic and like to exercise. I've been poor and well off, always been the same size and always eaten the same foods. Being poor does not mean that you have to eat crap and exercise is free.

It takes constant discipline which much be hard and a bit boring.

It is neither hard nor boring and if you think that then that is where your problem lies. They know their bodies don't need or want the extra food.

Yes It's not 'constant discipline' - it's a habit.

Going to go back and read the thread but shocked that people are rejecting weight as a class/ wealth issue so much on the first page

Yes, I think I was one of the first to post and my reply was snippy. Sorry OP I might be feeling fat and fed up

Wow, lots of discussion here. Weight is a fraught issue, especially for women, and it’s good to try to dig under the surface.

First of all, if you only carry about 10 extra pounds and you can lose them with manageable, sustainable adjustments to your diet then congratulations- you don’t have a weight problem. This is great news for you, and you should be pleased for yourself without falling into the misunderstanding that what works for you will work for others. I promise you there are women out there subsisting on steamed vegetables and rice who shifted some of their weight that way but aren’t down to a socially acceptable BMI yet and can’t shift any more. A calorie is NOT a calorie. If you examine the evidence out there you will find that weight is not a simple matter of energy in, energy out. It is a complex conversation between your endocrine system, your brain, your microbiome and your environment. I promise you, if losing weight was as simple as some people think it is there would be no fat people. Being fat sucks and no one would endure the shame society tries to put on them if they could find a sustainable way out.

The problem is that the more you lose the harder it is to lose. The first stone falls off pretty quick and easy on 1400 calories a day. Then you plateau for a few weeks, so you try 1200 calories a day. You lose half a stone and plateau again, so you go to 1000 and maybe lose a pound or two more. Then you realize that eating even less is not a reasonable way to live so you try to “cash out” at that weight and stay there by going back to a reasonable 1400 a day. But when you do your weight slowly goes back up to where it started. You get discouraged and give up for a while and then read about a new fantastic diet and start it all over again. This is called weight cycling and it’s much worse for your body than just being fat, to say nothing of your psyche.

I stand corrected by the poster who pointed out that when I said you could be healthy at any weight I was discounting those who are too thin. I apologize for that. Yes, you can be too skinny for sure, and in terms of life expectancy you are better off being overweight than underweight. In fact the best BMI for life expectancy is well in the “overweight” section of the spectrum. Feel free to look that up. It’s well documented by a number of studies.

Lastly, yes, being heavier is harder in your joints and heart. But if losing large amounts of weight long term is literally not possible (and for some people it genuinely isn’t, especially if they aren’t willing to undergo a horrible and risky surgery) and if weight cycling is also terrible for you, then your options are giving up completely or just doing your best to be healthy and happy as you are. So that’s what I’m recommending to anyone who has a genuine weight problem. I absolutely stand by that advice.

To anyone on here who doesn’t have a weight problem, I offer the polite request that you count your blessings and don’t judge those who have not been similarly blest by suggesting they are secretly bingeing. They probably aren’t, and even if they are they will have their reasons for doing so and I promise your disapproval will not help them.

This is called weight cycling and it’s much worse for your body than just being fat,

But to know if you are suffering that you have to have succeeded in restricting calorie intake and further restricting it several times. People on this thread have not really spoken about experiencing that. The majority of posts regarding having difficulty with diets speak of not being able to resist sugary fatty convenience foods.

I offer the polite request that you count your blessings and don’t judge those who have not been similarly blest by suggesting they are secretly bingeing.

I don't judge them. Why would I? I have being overweight myself. Just because I am hopeful regarding being able to lose excess weight, eat healthily and exercise easily and inexpensively and reap the health benefits(because I have done it and personally know others who have and reversed their diabetes in one case) does not mean I judge. Offering a glimmer of hope and being positive is not the same as judging someone unfavourably. I'd rather that than completely write them off! The same as I'd rather someone do that for me than completely write me off.

EllenMP I looked up your claim that in terms of life expectancy you are better off being overweight than underweight and found the following:

The research you are citing was first posited in 2003 and then again in 2013, below is a critique and evidence of further research that contradicts your assertion:

However, it is important to note that these are largely unsubstantiated theories and have not been further explored or proven.

Even if you choose to ignore the limitations of this research, it would be unwise to interpret its findings as proof that being overweight is ‘healthy’ – rather it may be slightly less unhealthy than perceived

Further studies dated 2017 and 2018 concluded this:

The study’s findings run counter to the obesity paradox, which is a medical hypothesis that people who are overweight and obese are linked with higher survival rates. It’s an idea first came suggested in a 2003 study published in the Journal of the International Society of Nephrology. It has since been supported by a handful of other studies, including one in 2013 that was published in JAMA (the same journal publishing the study this week contradicting the concept). The 2013 research analysis has been criticized for its omission of several large, cohort studies that would have affected its findings.

One study of over a million adults in the U.S. found that death rates were linked to body mass index (BMI). In this study, death rates from cardiovascular disease were markedly elevated among individuals with higher BMIs. The lowest death rates were among women with a BMI of 22.0 to 23.4 and among men with a BMI of 23.5 to 24.9.

(Healthy BMI is 18.5 - 24.9)

Other researchers have estimated that obesity causes approximately 300,000 deaths per year. Being overweight and obesity in childhood is especially ominous. In men especially, being overweight in childhood has been found to increase the risk of death from any cause.

Some researchers have determined that, in those who are extremely obese, life expectancy may be reduced by an estimated 5 to 20 years.

Overweight and obesity is associated with premature mortality at all ages, for both men and women.

just doing your best to be healthy and happy as you are. So that’s what I’m recommending to anyone who has a genuine weight problem.

What terrible advice
Being overweight is a health problem FYI
Jesus

I am not saying the slim people I know don't enjoy food but they seem to seriously limit the food they do eat. They skip one or two meals a day and have just 1 or 2 pieces of pizza or chocolates. They have great will power and stick to it. Salads for dinner only. Tiny portions. I find it very hard to just have 1/2 chocolates or pizza, I tend to be good and then binge. It takes constant discipline which much be hard and a bit boring.

cleomummy, this is the sort of assumption I'm talking about.

Why are you assuming that they have great willpower and constant discipline etc? For many, many people this is just their normal appetite.

Also, many people like myself don't eat breakfast because they're never hungry in the mornings.

That's not 'skipping' a meal, it's listening to your body.

Because when asked about it- these people have said it's because they like being the size they are and have indicated it's so they can stay slim. I find it hard to believe people's appetite is that small.

Somewhere upthread I mentioned about pizza consumption, how many people considered a whole pizza to be one portion, and here we have 1 or 2 slices of pizza being described as a tiny portion.

But a whole pizza is often well over 1000 calories, even if it's a quite small frozen one and if we're talking about the calorie needs of an average woman being about 1500-2000 calories a day, to eat a whole pizza and not gain weight, our average woman wouldn't be able to eat much for the rest of the day. So if someone is regularly eating a whole pizza and normal meals at other times, it is easy to see why people gain weight.

So we're back to portion size, you can have pizza and not gain weight, but it needs to be more like a slice or two if it's a large pizza, or maybe half a frozen one, plus salad and make it a vegetable pizza rather than pepperoni, preferably home made or good quality takeaway or restaurant pizza to make it healthier than a very processed factory one.

I find it hard to believe people's appetite is that small.

I thought that before I tried a low carb diet. Thing was sugars and simple carbs sent my appetite off. If I don't eat to much sugar and simple carbs I can go hours without eating anything and not feel hungry. I do eat potatoes, rice and bread but I have found a limit whereby they don't set my appetite out of control and I choose the most fibrous versions.

It's real cleomummy . just because the people around you that you've asked are actively working to a specific plan, which may or may not be healthy, surprising as it might seem to you, many are just slim and don't work at it.

I find it hard to believe people's appetite is that small.

I find it hard to believe that you think that.

Pizza describes /hides a multitude of sins.

Pizza is not one thing.

For instance, I only have thin n crisy, as I just can't manage all the dough on any others. I only choose those that I can see actual tomatoes on (so not processed), and generally if I want pepperoni type meat, I will slice my own and add sufficient, as I do tend to avoid heavy meat products with nitrates sulphates in.

That's not me denying myself, I really don't like all the other overly fatty and doughy stuff. Is this what you mean cleomummy ?

It's my habit, if you like,. I like the fresh taste of the tomatoes and unprocessed foods, so it might have spinach and basil and mozzarella.

It won't have any of those processed chicken, spicy beef, or anything on. That discounts a lot of pizzas from my options.

I also think its possible to alter your tastes, and switch off your natural stop valve, or increase your tolerance for fats and stodge, through over-eating a lot, which also expands your stomach. I did this at Christmas, and it was horrible, I just felt so uncomfortable for so long. To get morbidly obese I would consider it would be necessary to continue to ignore my capacity as the sheer volume that I've seen very overweight people eat, and the type of food, turns my stomach and I find it really off-putting.

I don't eat burgers for instance, don't keep a selection of biscuits or crisps or chocolates in. They are just not part of my daily life, or part of my normal shopping. From what I've seen around me, that's certainly not always the case.

I don't really eat pies, or pastry things.

Different lifestyles I think. I would be morbidly obese if I liked burgers and chips I think, but I don't. If I buy fish, I can't manage chips as well, its too much to eat for me.

I promise you there are women out there subsisting on steamed vegetables and rice who shifted some of their weight that way but aren’t down to a socially acceptable BMI yet and can’t shift any more.

veg and protein would be more like it. I see women at work eat rice at lunch as though it’s a health food, and then wonder why I’m slimmer eating a boiled egg and some veg.

People with any kind of eating /dietary issues often eat differently in public as well. So they might each veg and rice in public, and forget about all the biscuits and mega meals at home with puds, and so on.

"If your kitchen doesn't have frozen chips, pizzas, crisps, biscuits, frozen ready meals,but is full of raw ingredients its a case of having to make something of you are hungry."

Nope. Where I live, some shops are open till 11pm so if I have nothing nice in I'll go and buy something.

I just mean all the slim people I know are either slim because they go to the gym multiple times a week, do marathons, iron man etc, have lost weight through stress or have lost weight or have always been slim by restricting their food intake and I have observed they eat very little. To me this means they aren't naturally thin, they have to work for it.

Btw- I would probably be counted as slim, 5ft 6, 9 stone 5. I too have to work at it. I would probably be a stone lighter if I didn't eat so much chocolate.

"The enjoyment only lasts as long as it takes to eat them though. There are lots of other enjoyable things. Books, tv, music, a bath."

Also, pleasures that only last while you're doing them (although I wouldn't call a bath a pleasure). I went on a lovely walk today, sea view and everything. I had a glass of wine before turning back so probably put all the calories back on. We often find that some pleasures complement each other.

"The more money you have the more food you can buy, and the more expensive restaurants and delivery services you can frequent."

Portions are much smaller in expensive restaurants and there isn't the need to get 'value for money' in the form of a large meal. If you're on a low income and going out for food is a treat, you don't want a small portion of something healthy.
As I've mentioned above, some people on low incomes even prefer 'all you can eat' which is obviously just a huge encouragement to overeat.

swingofthings:"I can't figure out from your post whether you want to lose weight or not."

I do swing because I'd like to be slim.
However, it's not a medial requirement for me to lose weight as I'm medium rather than fat and am in the healthy BMI range so I suppose I don't have as strong a motivation as someone who need to lose weight for their health.

"Because you keep saying healthy food doesn't taste good, do does this mean you are going to stick to eating unhealthy?"

Probably, realistically.
In an ideal world, I would find low calorie and healthy food that I actually like.
I can't find the foods I used last time I dieted successfully and need to find some replacements.

"either you massively reduce the portions or you accept that you will most likely never be slim. There are no magical formula."

Well, thanks for your explanation, but I know how it works.