To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

I really appreciate all the posts here.

I don’t want to be reliant on my husband for exercise. I can’t rely on him but that’s a whole other post.

I’ve had a home exercise bike given to me by a friend. I have bought a cross trainer online and cleared the spare room to setup as a mini gym with skipping rope and yoga mat etc.

I am going to shop for healthy slow cooker meals and pre prepare stir fry’s and healthy lunches.

I acknowledge it’s down to genetics but research suggests genetics plays only a small part and that lifestyle factors have far greater influence.

I think if you’re happy being curvaceous then all power to you.

I personally want to be slim as I like particulars kinds of fashion and I feel that my weight limits my choices.

Thank you so much for your help and support.

Ps: this thread has been so motivating for me.

It's been motivating for me too, OP.

Good luck OP. It can be hard but having small achievable goals helps (eg get yourself a gift every half stone you lose).

Try eating lower carb food, eg, roast chicken with veg, fish with veg,eggs of any kind, cut out the whites, eg bread, pasta , rice and potatoes, leave the biscuits, cakes etc alone. Eat plenty fruit and veg. Diet is more important than exercise. Just try walking more, at least an hour a day. 1500 calories a day of healthy food. You will lose weight.

Sounds good OP go for it.

One other thing I would say is I weigh myself every day at the same time in the morning and if you're doing something right or wrong you can actually basically tell in a couple of days. There are temporary factors but less than you might think. You can probably expect to lose 2 lbs a week healthily (more of you're very big but I don't think you are?)

I’ve found this thread motivating too, particularly the points about delayed gratification- this is definitely what I struggle with, so I am going to bear this in mind. Good luck to everyone hoping to get healthier & slimmer.

Don't know if it's been suggested yet, but My Fitness Pal is good for tracking what you are eating until you get used to a new reduced diet. Go for slow weight loss. It'll be more sustainable.

And mentally say you are not going on a diet, you are changing the way you eat forever - so make it something you can stick to!

"Just because it’s healthy doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Again, it’s a total lack of creative thinking in those who dismiss healthy eating as being bland and flavourless. Spices bring immense flavour to food with the added bonus of having healthy properties. But hey, why bother with all that when you can eat something someone else has cooked that’s full of MSG, salt, sugar, chemicals and bad oils. "

People have different tastes. And I've linked above to an article that shows it's natural for humans to like fatty and sugary food.
I can't tolerate spicy foods, for example.
I like cheese, chocolate, etc. I like my food to feel like it's part of a whole if that makes sense, it has to 'stick' together.

"t’s like those who say exercise is punishing. If going for regular walks, taking the stairs and playing with your kids etc is considered punishing I’m not sure what more there is to say."

That's not really exercise though. The 150 minutes that the NHS tells you to do doesn't include things like walking and taking the stairs. I jog on the treadmill and it actually is punishing for me. I get stitches, I get out of breath, really sticky and sweaty. I do get some enjoyment out of it now, but it's not easy at the beginning and I definitely don't get a 'runner's high'.

"On a serious note, Money brings the privilege of trainers, organic fruit and veg, Pilates etc and the time to exercise!"

Yep. And as we've seen from OP's update, she has a spare room so she can have her own machines.

Sorry I need to point something out that I've read a few times. People have written that middle class women are motivated to fit in to brand, spanking new season designer clothes and have surgical procedures. Not a single middle class woman I know (nor their families) wear designer clothing. They may wear branded stuff like Jack Wills as a teenager, Crew Clothing or Lazy Jacks and lots of riding brands. But not one of them are decked out in brands like Gucci etc, it's the women with money that wear that stuff and dress their children in it too.
And none of them have Botox either, they are all ageing naturally but because they're extremely active they remain slim and healthy looking.

CitadelsofScience but there is still a look they are aspiring too the Boden look

Though many I know are having Botox and fillers just pretending they aren’t (and thinking no one can tell)

According to this thread, middle/upper class thing women:

• starve themselves to keep rich husbands
• have tons of plastic surgery and lip
• run daily half marathons or are exercising vigorously constantly
• don't eat and lie about eating
• are genetically blessed to be thin
• are highly vain and are motivated to be thin to wear the latest designer clothes
• are thin because they eat organic veg and fruit (as if being organic gives them magical properties)
• use the time cleaners and nannies free up for above said 3+ hour exercise sessions
• are constantly denying themselves the lovely junk food that they truly crave
• are thin because they get to eat expensive fruit and veg as opposed to in season local, boring fruit and veg

Right. What a ridiculous caricature and a means to make those who aren't thin and middle/upper class feel justified in being heavier and out of shape because who in their right mind would want to be the person described above?

On a serious note, Money brings the privilege of trainers, organic fruit and veg, Pilates etc and the time to exercise!

Bottom Iine is it costs less to eat less than it does to eat more.

Walking and running are free.

You don’t need to buy organic anything. Vegetables are cheap compared to ready meals and processed stuff.

gwen, the Niko Niko technique running, I linked to earlier, was certainly very beneficial for me. The man who devised the technique used it to overcome his diabetes. I have lost weight, am fitter, my ECGs were better when I had a pre op than previously, I am stronger, my back is better, more toned...the list goes on. It is not a punishing style of running. Initially muscles might ache a little but you don't get particularly breathless, you can speak whilst running.

Here:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=9L2b2khySLE#dialog

www.championseverywhere.com/niko-niko-pace-gentle-path-success/

There is even a MN thread about it. Many of the posters liked it even though they had struggled in the past with running for various reasons.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/exercise/3273109-niko-niko-running-technique-experiences

bird that video is really good!

Vegetables are cheap compared to ready meals and processed stuff

Not necessarily. A single courgette cost me 50p recently. I was making a tray of roasted veg. An aubergine was 70p. Pepper was 30p. Tomatoes cost 70p. Over £2 for that tray of roasted veg. A big bag of oven chips/chicken nuggets costs less.

6 apples can cost £2 in major super markets. A packet of biscuits costs less than 50p.

A small box of strawberries can cost between £2-3. 24 bags of crisps is under £2.50 in lidl I think from recollection.

bird - I jog on the treadmill. That works for me. I was just pointing out that it's not easy or fun and, even though it's rewarding in a way, it is a bit punishing.

Formerbabe - you're quite right about plenty of veg being expensive and the prices you've given are at the lower end. It can sometimes be close to a pound for an aubergine or a head of broccoli and that is not a meal in itself.
Stawberries and all other berries are expensive. You can have cheap fruit if you like apples, oranges or pears and cheap veg if you like potatoes and carrots. It's shit if you happen to prefer Mediterranean veg.
Own brand ready meal for about a pound though.

OP NRTFT but wanted to offer my understanding.

My children attended a primary school where there were lots of slim 'Boden moms'.

My children had previously been at nursery in a different area, so it was a bit of a contrast when they moved schools and we found ourselves mixing with more 'middle class' families.

Unsurprisingly, recent data showed that the poorest parts of my home city had higher rates of child obesity than the most affluent areas - my DC's school sat in one of those the affluent areas.

After having my twins I gained a lot of weight then lost it - but it took 2 years. It was a tough time for me body wise, so I understand your feelings.

I think some of the mothers you describe have had another advantage from birth.

I never knew how to eat well. Some of the mothers you described come from families where wholemeal bread, fresh vegetables, water (not fizzy pop) were the norm.
My own childhood dinners consisted of chips, crisps chocolate, frozen convenience meals and other junk. My mother worked two cleaning and a bar maid jobs and I was well aquainted with the local chippy.

My mother also has a poor relationship with food and diet this has fed in to my own issues. When my kids were small my mother would try to ply them with sweets and chips (while starving herself) and I worked hard to stop the cycle.

But even though I know how to eat properly now, I am still overweight, due to my complex relationship with food (from childhood).

Also DNA plays a huge role. My DH is skinny as a rake, can eat anything and does no exercise. One of my twins has inherited his metabolism and the other, mine and at 13 there are differences in their weights, with one still being underweight no matter what he eats.

But you can do this OP. I did lose the weight via Weight Watchers and kept it off for a while when I was made redundant and had more time to meal plan. Now, the stress of my job and home life has now seen me pile on the pounds.

It's easy for me to blame lack of time on my weight gain though. This is why, OP, so much is down to the psychological and emotional, so please take care of your wellbeing and health. I wish you luck but please don't be so hard on yourself. You sound lovely

@Gwenhwyfar
Old habit die hard, don't they?! I'm from a mc background but for some reason, my parents never gave me breakfast . Genuinely I have no idea why. We were well off and they weren't otherwise neglectful and I was well fed at lunch and dinner. I still can't get into the habit of eating breakfast. I rarely eat three meals a day. It's just not ingrained into me. I always make sure my own dc eat breakfast every day though.

Forermbabe - opinions have changed on breakfast though. It's no longer considered as important and loads of people are doing the 16-8 with no breakfast now.

Forermbabe - opinions have changed on breakfast though. It's no longer considered as important and loads of people are doing the 16-8 with no breakfast now

Yes but not for their children. Not having breakfast caused me to pile on weight once I went to secondary school. I was starving by break time and our school had vending machines so I'd eat chocolate bars and crisps because I was so hungry.

"Some of the mothers you described come from families where wholemeal bread, fresh vegetables, water (not fizzy pop) were the norm."

I remember a Spanish friend saying there was salad with EVERY meal when she was growing up. I hardly ever had salad growing up and it was considered food for women/dieters rather than the whole family anyway.
There was a really awful salad at school and I still see really crap salads with no vinaigrette offered at cheap food places.

Not necessarily. A single courgette cost me 50p recently. I was making a tray of roasted veg. An aubergine was 70p. Pepper was 30p. Tomatoes cost 70p. Over £2 for that tray of roasted veg. A big bag of oven chips/chicken nuggets costs less.

• Courgette (Essential Waitrose): £1.60/600g
• Peppers (essential Waitrose Little Less Than Perfect): £2.19/750g
• Aubergine (Essential Waitrose): £.80
• Tomato (Ocado): £.74/6 tomato

* there is an offer of 3 for £3 where you could have purchased a pack of 4 peppers, 6 tomatoes, and a bag of lettuce

This is enough veg for not just one traybake, but at least 2 meals. Add pasta or rice and it would be a satisfying meal

-oven chips (Essential waitrose) £1.15/900g

• Chicken nuggets (birds eye 39 chicken dippers frozen) £3.50/697

Not cheaper than the veg + pasta for a meal.

6 apples can cost £2 in major super markets. A packet of biscuits costs less than 50p.

but a packet of 5 Fair-trade bananas is £.90...

Own brand ready meal for about a pound though. I think they taste awfully boring though, same for chips, nuggets, crisps like a PP mentioned. So, you don't like cheap fruit and vegetables, can't afford the fruit and vegetables you prefer, so buy a cheap boring meal instead? . I'd choose cheap fruit and vegetables that aren't my favorites over rubbish food any day, at least it's fresh and healthy.