To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Before I got pregnant I was very active... long work days followed by exercise classes in the evenings, I had loads of energy and felt really positive in my body... never embarrassed being with my partner naked, happy in my clothes. I had an awful pregnancy and ended up unable to walk from PGP. I'm 3 months post partum now and my confidence has just plummeted... when I look in the mirror my body is unrecognisable, no clothes fit, everything is uncomfortable... I'm so easily tired exercising- it's really hard.

I really don't want to stay like this, it's affecting my confidence so much even though I'm starting to gentle resume exercising after c section.

There's no doubt in my mind that I feel happier and healthier when I'm slim.

I have often wondered about aristocratic women of the past, many stayed super slim yet had a life of leisure & constant banqueting...

They wore tight constricting clothes, plus they didn't eat huge platefuls apparently just a 'taste' of everything. I think they were quite active walking around their vast houses and grounds, riding, dancing.

"If it is genetics, how come it is a recent thing. "

Yes, it's not genetics that account for whole countries getting bigger is it? I think genetics can account for why particular individuals tend to put on weight, but it doesn't work on a group level unless you believe that in the countries where diet is bad, the people have genes for obesity and in the countries where the diet is better they just happen to have the genes for thinness.

"Michael Fast diet guy will be the next to be debunked mark my words."

Why do you think that? Lots of people have cured their diabetes with this 800 cals thing.

I have often wondered about aristocratic women of the past, many stayed super slim yet had a life of leisure & constant banqueting...

It wasn't seen as ladylike to have a "healthy" appetite.. even if they could eat a lot wearing a corset (which you could not!) social decorum would dictate they wouldn't.

That having been said there were a lot of plump aristocratic women - usually after they had done their duty of giving birth... Queen Caroline for example in the 18th century.

"Poverty and weight are absolutely related. But mainly I think because things that cause you to be poor also cause you to be fat.

So things like disability, poor mental health, poor impulse control, a troubled upbringing, issues with addiction, poor self esteem."

You don't have to have any of those things to be poor - it may just be that you have a low paid job.

"I always wonder with these extreme diets / fasting / exercise routines etc whether the people actually enjoy doing them."

I think people who do the 5:2 enjoy it because they can eat what they want most days. For many people it's easier than restricting their intake every day.
I think the 800 thing is only every day if you're diabetic. Others can do it some days and not others.

It sounds to me like its a symptom of your life being very overwhelming for you...at the moment.

I think your DH is a bit of a worry, the fact that hes not worried or adapting his plans in order to support his family properly.

I think you could do with going out to his gym the moment he returns, whilst he does the dinner, then he can go out for run or something after you get back and dinners eaten.

See if this, do e for a few weeks, makes any difference to how your life feels balanced?
I don't see a class issue, but interesting that you see it as one.

There are many very obese people.

Those that eat poor diets will suffer the worst of course and not just obesity,but all its inherent health risks.

Do you take DC swimming? It's a lot of exercise doing any movement in water so burns up calories.

I'd you don't have pennies for that, I'm sure she would love to be pushed whilst you run.

Or you can exercise at home also (skipping is a very intense exercise).

At her age you can also put her on in a safety carrier on a bike and head out on sunny days across country.

This will also help with the sleeping for her,with all the fresh air.

Exercise is free,there's no way you have to pay for a trainer or any other activities.

Also it will help with your own good feelings. If you run get the the couch to 5k app.

I do hope things improve for you, but you are a family so your DH should be responding as if hes part of a family too

That having been said there were a lot of plump aristocratic women - usually after they had done their duty of giving birth... Queen Caroline for example in the 18th century.

Queen Caroline was pregnant at least 10 times, Queen Anne 17 times I think that would have had an impact.

I lot can stem from sheer tiredness/sleep deprivation exhaustion, then all the rest goes out the window.

Also lack of proper regular sleep will mess with your metabolism. Again, back to DH sharing duties and not leaving you to it like you are a single parent family.

Join park run, with your pushchair!

I used to think slim people were just lucky but now after recently making a few new groups of friends, many of whom are very slim, I realise this isn't the case. Having talked to them and joined a gym and got into exercise myself I have found that they work very hard for it. The ones who are really slim visit the gym pretty much daily and run long distances.

Other friends who are super slim and don't visit the gym, I have observed eat very little skip Lunch and have salad for tea, are veggie, don't snack and manage to resist canapés etc at social events and have 1/2 slices of pizza or chocolates. I personally think life's too short to watch everything that goes into your mouth and don't care that much about being thin to do this.

Cleomum that's because you are seeing slim women exercising.

Many slim women don't have to do anything, like many slim kids.

Smother- I think they are slim because they exercise so much, that's my point. I think the people who don't do anything are very rare. It's either done by food or exercise

Quite a few have cosmetic procedures: fat freezing, contouring. Also go to health resorts twice a year etc and also have regular colonics. Combined with everything else it all contributes...

I think some slim/shapely women do nothing and are genetically blessed/get by with fast metabolism etc but for most it catches up with them after about 45/50.

I gained 30+ kilos after giving birth. Went from a size 8 to 16. To say I was fat is an understatement. I was like that for 2 years.
What helped:

• not eating during the day, just snacking on veggies/salads and protein. Not really good solution, but it worked for me.
• Ate a proper dinner though with family, but on a small plate.
• started exercising my own way: selected 2 movement types and done them morning/evening for 15 minutes. Okay, evening, during some episode of something :)
• then when I lost about 10 kg (3/4 of a yr) I got childcare (my mum) for wednesday afternoon and went to the gym for a ballet, then hip-hop, then pilates class. That made the difference really. 3 hours of training is a lot. :)
• plus I smoke and every time I have a cig and am in a secluded place (about half the time) I do squats while smoking. Sounds stupid, but every little bit helps.

Now I need to lose about 5 kgs from my mid area so thanks for making me remember what I need to do

Comparison is the thief of all joy. Skinny does not always mean healthy and for some people looking like a certain beauty standard, is less satisfying than enjoying your food. Take time to excercise, eat delicious and healthy food and find pics of curvy, gorgeous women to inspire you in the body shape you are at now (Iskra Lawrence/Ashley Graham) yes they are models, but you can look good at any size its just about confidence! Hope you feel better about yourself soon.

Why do so many people think slim people don't enjoy their food?

It's madness.

Well I know Cleo but ime experience that's just not true. I knowamy, and have seen many on TV also who remain slim despite very much enjoying their food.

Metabolism, hormones, levels of stress, amount of sleep, all play major roles as well as activity, including brain!

There is also a known self-limiting phenomenon, where some regulate easily.

Say after a night out with a large meal and alchohol, might not feel hungry till mid afternoon the next day for example,,and if they don't feel hungry they don't eat, so don't have an eating 'habit' and also don't have to work at dieting or eating less, or particularly exercise. May walk/cycle to work perhaps.

Generally fat carrying is not healthy. The less fats and sugars the better.

We do absolutely have to have fats though.

@WorraLiberty

Why do so many people think slim people don't enjoy their food?

It's madness.

Right?!

I love food. I don’t count calories. I don’t buy “posh” food. I’m not on any diet. I don’t deprive myself. I just make sure I am being reasonable and honest with myself about what I’m eating. Just because it’s healthy doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Again, it’s a total lack of creative thinking in those who dismiss healthy eating as being bland and flavourless. Spices bring immense flavour to food with the added bonus of having healthy properties. But hey, why bother with all that when you can eat something someone else has cooked that’s full of MSG, salt, sugar, chemicals and bad oils.

It’s like those who say exercise is punishing. If going for regular walks, taking the stairs and playing with your kids etc is considered punishing I’m not sure what more there is to say.

I’m finding there are two excuses used interchangeably here. 1. Healthy women are genetically blessed therefore the universe decides how healthy people are and no one can do anything about it, and 2. Slim women punish themselves by surviving on lettuce and air and running gruelling daily marathons to keep their weight down, and “I don’t want to starve and punish myself so I’ll just be happy and fat instead.”

Nonsense.

I’m leaving this thread. These arguments just go around in circles. It’s sad.

Why do so many people think slim people don't enjoy their food?

It's madness.

It is isn't it Worra, I don't deprive myself of anything, I don't starve or 'punish' myself, I eat when I am hungry, eat what I want to eat and enjoy it, what I don't do is overeat.

Its really reflective of the level that poor eating and obesity has got to.

Crack!

On a serious note, Money brings the privilege of trainers, organic fruit and veg, Pilates etc and the time to exercise!

@Teateaandmoretea
My metabolism really did change during pregnancy and for at least 18 months after

This could be it too but for me I think it's more age related. I had my first child very young and lost all the weight in 4 months (I also put on 3.5 stone in that pregnancy). I didn't do anything special - walked a lot and ate healthy, didn't count anything. Breastfed for 3 months.

This time around... have had to cut back food intake a lot, and increase exercise. Breastfed for 7 months and think it made me hold onto fat (science actually backs this up, confusingly). It's very slow (the weight loss) and frustrating.

Maintenance is so much easier than getting there, so am determined not to let it slide once reach my goal.

In other news,. I am awake as a spider just crawled over my head