To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Teateaandmoretea - cycle hard, not one of these clogging up country roads being over taken by a Yorkshire terrier type cyclist

Yeah sure I cycle slowly as you are.

It's all about diet. I went crazy for a while with exercise...did two gym classes a day... spinning, pump, hiit. Didn't change my diet. Got fitter but didn't lose any weight

Were you actually overweight though?

Were you actually overweight though?

Yes...

I have lost weight through diet alone, through diet and exercise but never exercise alone.

Teateaandmoretea a lot of people don't have time or inclination to cycle for 3 hours every day/more than once a week. Also if you don't understand how metabolism works as we age I suggest you look it up.

I think the diet versus exercise thing really depends on how much you are consuming over what you energy you use. It is very easy to eat over what energy you use. Meal portions when you eat out are often more energy than I would consume in a day. Not to be beaten I often order a starter and a side salad! Exercise wise, if you run you can clock up a few calories. Add more to that if you run with a weighted back pack (it needs to fit really well though so as not to strain anything). But even then it won't cancel out a typical pub meal unfortunately. I look up the nutrition at all the major chains online before I eat out.

Fitness trackers give a guide to how much energy you use. Or just look the exercise up online there are usually calculators to help.

Fazackerley we are all different is the point in terms of lots and lots of factors. For women biggest metabolism change is general is menopause (and for me pregnancy) 25 is irrelevant to anything for me, but perhaps yours dropped then.

And of course most people don't exercise enough to lose weight the point is that you have to do a lot which is what I said all along.

Often also the scales don't show it, you just look better and lose the overhang round your middle as muscle weighs more than fat. I could stop exercising, lose a stone through not eating and be all wobbly and thin.

The biggest issue with exercise is if I stop for some reason (like being ill) I do put weight on.

OP there is a lot here that needs to be addressed to allow you to feel better. The first thing I would say is can you think of a way to get back to your law degree? This is likely to help your self esteem and self worth so you can eventually lose the weight. More importantly will give you independence, choices and financial security in the long term, should you ever need it, and so you never feel trapped.
In terms of your question, I am a professional married woman and most of my friends are upper middle or upper class. I would say the traits are being very controlled with eating, small portions, no snacking. I’m slim but my friends are very thin and often miss meals etc which I don’t do. Some of them exercise, some don’t. I swim, do yoga/Pilates and hiking. I work 3-4 days per week. I don’t have a nanny but lots of my friends do. Most of them work full time or nearly full time and are in professional jobs. I don’t know any who are SAHM. I found my weight dropped when I went back to work after maternity leave. I don’t know why really, I was walking everywhere during maternity leave! I do have a very demanding job though, so don’t get time to eat much.

Why can’t kiddo be packed into a buggy? I’ve gone for walks with baby in buggy, dog lead attached to it and DS2 on reins, a 3 year old in a buggy is child’s play! Just allow him the option of coming out for a bit, give him some toys and chat to him!

I'm upper middle (if there is such a thing). I prefer professional to be honest. I'm fat. Don't know how I let it happen but at the beginning of this year was weighing in at 16 stone. I've lost 35lbs since then as it was such a massive wake up call.

I've always had a high personal income (not allowance from my husband).

For me, gaining weight was about a loss of my identity. Kids meant a drop in my personal income and I didn't want to waste money on expensive clothes. I stopped getting my hair done regularly. Didn't wear make up very often. And then it becomes perpetuating. I didn't have much help so found I didn't have much time for myself. Except I did. I had plenty of time to look at Facebook. Spent hours reading books about kon Marie or whatever my latest interest was. Often researching whether I had an under active thyroid.

I've been really strict about what I'm eating since the new year and weight is dropping off of me relatively quickly. When I started logging what I was eating I was so shocked. I'm interested in clothes again and now when I see a fat photo of me it is motivation to lose more (whereas I had stopped looking in the mirror).

OP tackle it. Don't be like me and spend a decade of your life trying not to be in pictures with your kids. It's not about exercise (although that helps) it's about diet. I fast now and it is therefore very easy to limit calories. I prefer how I look so it is easy to keep going.

How do you fast? You sound like me!

There is no such thing as too poor to eat healthy. Small portions of anything are healthier than large portions. Simply divide your normal serve of whatever you normally eat in half. Some people seem to imagine that thin rich people have purchased some type of expensive food that tastes great, fills you up and has no calories. Nope. They eat small portions of boring tasting food like broccoli and they are hungry most of the time. It's really hard. They decide to do it anyway.

And forget exercise, it's healthy but it doesn't impact weight at all unless you are at Olympic athlete level training.

I don’t know any who are SAHM. I found my weight dropped when I went back to work after maternity leave.

It's not about working or being a SAHM per se. I think if you are reasonably secure you just tend to be more positive and proactive.

I am a SAHM and have successfully lost weight and maintained. I put it on when I ate too much and had a bad back and couldn't diet or exercise much through later cancer treatment.

I found one of those electronic muscle exercisers on my core helped my back. Was able to start running after my treatment. This style of running which is easy.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=9L2b2khySLE

Diet wise, logging calories helped which I do through FitBit's app and generally halving portions helped.

@imaleaver that's a really helpful and insoiring post. Thank you for it.

I just got back from holiday having scoffed everything in sight and found I'd lost three pounds because we walked all day every day while away. Realised I'm fat because I'm too sedentary at home. I need to get much more active. Like imaleaver I'm sooo busy but seem to have loads of time to sit on my backside on MN when I could be gardening or redecorating or just walking in the lovely hills nearby.

It really is all about discipline. I live in an UMC enclave and every day the streets are full of women 40+ running etc.

I am like a little fatty in comparison, but no discipine at the moment.

And forget exercise, it's healthy but it doesn't impact weight at all unless you are at Olympic athlete level training.

Wow! I'm an Olympian then!

Woo!Hoo! I feel as good about that as when I thought I was running carrying as much weight as the Special Forces (miscalculated...)!

It's like I'm a ninja in disguise as a middle aged woman!

I have my age and weight etc in a fitness app.

I take my dog on a 45 minute walk (most of which is uphill) daily. I burn a total of 132 calories. Whoohhoo! I can have a banana and half an apple. Maybe!

I used to have a metabolism to die for. BMI 19 no matter how much I ate and all I ever did was a bit of walking - no gym.

The trouble can start when one gets older. I have a friend who was told to stop running by her GP as her knee is wrecked. She had been depending on extreme exercise in order to eat big meals. She can't do that anymore. Plus, you can still clog up your arteries with junk food even though you appear thin on the outside.

And forget exercise, it's healthy, but it doesn't impact weight at all unless you are at Olympic athlete level training
Complete rubbish. A calorie deficit = weight loss. Calorie excess = weight gain. It's calories in vs calories out, hence why any people find they gain weight once they become inactive but don't cut back on their food. If it works that way it will work in reverse.
To the PP who said 1000 cals a day on exercise is way more than anyone has time for, that's probably true when you have young kids. I usually use around that many calories a day. 1 hours swiming , and at least 2 hours walking. Yes I have calculated it properly. The walking is part of my life, not something I do to lose weight. I did used to hate it when my kids were about 3 and wouldn't sit in the buggy so I had to walk at their pace. Also having to use lifts instead of stairs because of the buggy was annoying as hell.

Yes it is physics but you need to do a fuck of a lot of exercise to burn 1000 cals. Much more doable to eat less.

Not really. I'm a skater. An hour rink skating uses up to 600 calories, an hour of rollerblading outdoors can burn up to 800 calories, ramp skating uses somewhere in between. I'm too small to use that level of energy but it's easy enough to spend a couple of hours on rollerblades or at the skate park and I could and often spend 3-4 hours at the rink. I've been known to go to the skate park or for a rollerblade for 90mins in the morning and to the rink for 2-3 hours on the same night.

None of it feels like exercise, it's just super fun, but the physical reality is that it's a hardcore cardio work out and an excellent muscle building exercise that keeps my metabolism from slowing as I age. I do make it my business to be strict about my processed sugar consumption and I favour protein over carbs at breakfast and supper because if I'm not careful I'll fall into a habit of having pastries for breakfast and morning snacks. But in general I think that the most important way to lose weight/stay slim is to find a lifestyle you love that keeps you fit and makes you revel in the things your body can do.

But that is a fuck of a lot of exercise so you are kind of proving my point there

Do people not understand that 3 hours cardio a day is a lot or is it a stealth boast

An hour rink skating uses up to 600 calories, an hour of rollerblading outdoors can burn up to 800 calories, ramp skating uses somewhere in between

First, that's an exaggeration of the amount. It's impossible to calculate. Anyway you can easily eat 600 cals in a few minutes downing a few blocks of chocolate. If you are about to reply that no one could eat that, I introduce you to.... me! I could easily do that, wash it down with a glass of wine and you are way over not even including any other meal.

Two slices of toast and butter and a glass of wine is over 600 cals.

Complete rubbish. A calorie deficit = weight loss. Calorie excess = weight gain.

Yes if course. And exercise burns fuck all calories unfortunately, compared to how fast you can eat them. A lot of people think an hour of exercise means they can eat what they want. Actually an hour of exercise means you can eat three chips or half a square of chocolate extra. Not half a block. Half a square.

I really believe that the reason people who are doing 3 or 4 hours of exercise a day are losong weight because they are reducing their eating time rather than a massive calorie burn