To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Stay away from the chocolate then. It’s not even that nice.

Exercise doesn’t just burn off calories it also speeds up your metabolism, and the effects of that last for some time.

Stay away from the chocolate then.

Yup. That's reducing your weight through diet.

Diet and exercise.

I find it’s also really difficult as healthy foods often go off quickly. If I was a sahm or worked part time there would be ample opportunity to do a salad fruit and veg shop once or twice mid week. As it is, we just about prop open our exhausted eyes to do an online order once a week (sometime once a fortnight if we just don’t get around to it). So any fresh veg and salad that arrives on Saturday is past it’s best by Tuesday and then you have to fill 3 days with food until the next order.

Grim. There must be other ft working couples with young kids that also find this. If you don’t really get a lunch hour (certainly not enough time to get to the supermarket) and evenings are no good as dh is still at work, how do you manage to keep topping up the fresh and healthy supplies?

I'm not super-skinny but rather slim, size 8, which is hard enough at 45 but it's all about diet.

Often times when I'm hungry I just take a walk (2 miles round trip) to Cafe Nero and get a capuccino with sugar-free caramel. The milk really helps to keep my hunger at bay.

My life is quite nice and so I don't eat for fun, which I can see is middle-class priviledge.

Pilates 3x a week and running.

Exercise is great but saying "I don't have the money for an expensive gym, therefore there is nothing I can do but be overweight" is just an excuse. Everyone can lose weight if they want by cutting their food down (literally - get a knife and cut your serve in half) and that is 95% of the battle. Yes you will be hungry.

Btw I am a fellow fat person so no judgement from me. I live this struggle every day so I know it's really hard, but there is no point kidding ourselves.

Who , if you work full time, has time for 3 hours of exercise a day, even swimming/walking?!
Baffled.

Anyway, we are conflating two things. Exercise as a simple calorie burn, and having more muscle mass (benefit of the right type of exercise) which increases your resting metabolic rate anyway so you burn more while going about your normal day.

The most time efficient is weight training, and eating enough protein.

I have been a 14-16 (sleep deprived after DD2) and now am 8-10 after 5:2 diet and exercise. DS was a toddler and waking up at 5am so I used to pop him in front of CBeebies on the iPad and do a Jillian Michaels exercise DVD. Meant I started the day feeling good rather than knackered!

I live in a fairly well off area, not the sort of place where people use nannies for longer than working hours, nor do people have housekeepers, chefs or night nannies, but plenty of people have cleaners and belong to gyms. People here do plenty of exercise (there's a big mum's running community with free social runs), and family activities tend to be active walks, bike rides etc, children have trampolines so burn off energy like that. I definitely notice that children here are slimmer than in the less well off areas, as are the parents. Being slim, active and eating healthily are normalised here. Most of my friends are Aldi shoppers but the trolleys have plenty of fruit and veg in and people generally cook from scratch, don't buy fizzy drinks etc. DH grew up working class and thinks my obsession with cooking from scratch, rather than using freezer food, and eating veg, rather than crisps and biscuits, is some sort of strange affectation!

I think one key to staying slimmer is no snacks. When you graze all day it's so easy to take in loads of extra calories without really noticing it. Plus your body stays in fat storage mode rather than fat burning mode. If you eat decent sized meals with plenty of lean protein, plenty of fibre and some good fats you can easily last until your next meal. High carb/processed junk will just leave you craving more of the same. I notice a definite difference in my mood when I eat well vs when I have processed food.

In the summer a typical lunch might be a slice of toasted rye bread with smoked mackerel pate and a salad with olive oil dressing. Winter lunches are homemade veg and lentil or bean soups, or omelette with steamed veg. Breakfast is yogurt with a sprinkle of homemade low sugar granola and some berries, or boiled eggs, tomatoes and spinach. Dinner is normal family food like chilli con carne, pasta bolognese, curry etc but I have a small portion of carbs and add extra salad/veg.

Also- don't drink your calories! Frothy coffees, juices, smoothies and alcohol add lots of extra calories into your day. I normally only drink alcohol on the weekends and holidays.

You mentioned you are in Oz OP, one of the fattest nations on earth statistically. I think that would surprise most brits as we think of Aussies as super sporty and healthy. When we lived there I put on a lot of weight initially as the portion sizes are giant and people eat out a lot more than in the UK. Depending on where you are there can be more of an American culture of fast food and driving everywhere too. Plus Australians are obsessed with juice bars and smoothies, and they give lots of calories with no fibre. I found fruit and veg quite pricey and the supermarkets were uninspiring. But if you can shop in local veg shops and fishmongers there are good deals to be had.

Agree that you have a DH problem- he needs to prioritise the health of both of you, not just him. Share evenings at the gym, if he needs to go every day he can alternate going on mornings, or go out again after you have been. Or if you have no interest in the gym he needs to share evenings putting the DC to bed so you can work/rest/meditate/whatever.

Oh and even without kids I couldn't fit in 3h of exercise a day!

So am I making it up that metabolism is slower as you age? Not necessarily post menopause only? Surely I am not the only person to have noticed it?

In my 20s I ate whatever I liked. And didn't exercise much. Certainly cannot do that any more. Am mid 30s.

Exercise is great but saying "I don't have the money for an expensive gym, therefore there is nothing I can do but be overweight" is just an excuse. Everyone can lose weight if they want by cutting their food down (literally - get a knife and cut your serve in half) and that is 95% of the battle. Yes you will be hungry.

Absolutely. Climbing up a hill at pace is possibly the best exercise you can do, and it's absolutely free.

And yes for the most part you will have to be hungry in order to be skinny or even thin. There are some people who don't have to, but they're a (vocal) minority

I struggled with weight for years. Only thing that works for me is working really hard at it and counting every calorie every day or else weight piles back on. I use Myfitness pal and try to stick to 1500 calories (1300 if im trying to lose). I go as long as i can without eating (lots of skimmed tea) and have a big teacake with jam and butter on afternoon and a 600 calorie tea with a choc bar after. I find eating in a strict routine keeps me fron obsessing about food. Also walk an hours stroll every day. I go to pot if my routine gets messed up though, on school holidays etc. Im just one of those people who has to work really hard to keep weight off. Its not ideal for everyone but it works for me at the moment.

Most people know what to do to lose weight but its the motivation to do it that is the problem for most, including me. Also a supportive partner helps, as does completely emptying the house of any temptation

Also, i find that when kids are little the lack of sleep makes you crave calorific stodge, (which is also a proven fact) so that is hard.

"I’m just naturally slim. I snack on sweets and rubbish - high metabolism I suppose."

Unless a doctor has told you you have high metabolism, I don't believe it. You either don't eat too much or you move a lot, even if you're not conscious of it.

" Some people seem to imagine that thin rich people have purchased some type of expensive food that tastes great, fills you up and has no calories. Nope. They eat small portions of boring tasting food like broccoli and they are hungry most of the time. It's really hard. They decide to do it anyway."

I've been to nice restaurants and I can see that yes, you can get nice healthy food in small portions. Poor people would feel cheated by the small portions in fine dining and people on a lower income would feel that they need to go for a big stodgy pub meal or even an 'all you can eat' to get their money's worth.

You can even compare ready meals. For £1 you can get a supermarket own brand lasagne, but for £3 you can get salmon in a nice sauce with veg, coming in at around 350 calories. Spend a bit more and the food is nicer.

I've not read the entire the entire thread, got to page 9.

Of course there is a correlation between money and weight. We are middle class but shop at Aldi as do most MC people here in an affluent area of the south east. However shopping at Aldi is not a level playing field, we buy, say, mince that is less than 5% fat but it's much more expensive than the 20% stuff. We cook mainly from scratch with the occasional takeaway and we buy fresh fruit and veg, meat etc. But because we have money we can buy the tiny, wholemeal bread with seeds, if you haven't got the disposable income then you'll be stuck buying the regular sized, cheap white loaf at 40p. We have an instapot where we can make our own yoghurt but if you don't have the money to buy one or the free time because you're working all hours to make your own youghurt, then you're stuck buying the cheap ones from the supermarket.

All this said I am overweight now thanks to the onset of chronic illnesses but now they're under much better control I have the means and my previous mindset to do something about it.

Either Channel 4 or 5 ran a series called secrets of slim people, the opposite of secret eaters. It's still on their catch up service.

All the apparently bafflingly slim people just didn't eat as much as anyone thought, just the same as how all the overweight secret eaters ate a lot more than they admitted to, usually forgotten snacking, large portions and lots of calories in drinks.

*Either Channel 4 or 5 ran a series called secrets of slim people, the opposite of secret eaters. It's still on their catch up service.

All the apparently bafflingly slim people just didn't eat as much as anyone thought, just the same as how all the overweight secret eaters ate a lot more than they admitted to, usually forgotten snacking, large portions and lots of calories in drinks*

Yes it was interesting. Like one of my skinnier friends whose always saying what a pig she is but she'll always leave half her meals and only have a little Freddo bar.

"Diet and exercise."

No. Creating a calorie deficit, which is more likely through diet for most people except for those on this thread who have time for 3 hours of exercise every day.
You don't have to do both to lose weight.

I do think exercise is given way more credence than cutting calories when it comes to weight loss. A snack from Costa on way home from gym will cancel out an hours running. It is definitely possible to lose weight without exercising that much.

"So am I making it up that metabolism is slower as you age? Not necessarily post menopause only? Surely I am not the only person to have noticed it?"

You are right. It's a medical fact and doesn't matter whether someone has noticed it or not. Goes down from our 30s on I think.

You don't need to exercise for 3 hours a day to lose weight. I find weights-based exercise 5 or 6 times a week, 20 to 30 minutes a time, makes a big difference. Doing weights means the muscle burns calories between sessions, and apparently exercising before breakfast, as I prefer to, is particularly effective for weight loss. You can do this at home, no need for a gym.

Yes it was interesting. Like one of my skinnier friends whose always saying what a pig she is but she'll always leave half her meals and only have a little Freddo bar.

In my experience, quite a lot of super-skinny people who are verging on anorexic talk quite a lot about what pigs they are. I have a friend who sends ridiculous texts all about how much she's eaten, and avoids eating with people/restaurants, and then when you actually get her in a restaurant she'll order with everyone else but then go and find the waiter and take her stuff off and then say she had a huge lunch.

I don't think class comes into it, except for that you need time to exercise and if you have small kids probably need to buy that time. I started exercising once my child went to school and while I'm not skinny by any means, I'm now pretty happy with my body. I do 5-6 30 min exercise sessions a week (running, swimming, gym at local leisure centre). If you can fit exercise in it makes all the difference.