To say mums of girls are smug

[TheMidiMitch]

Just been at a party where my son along with the other boys have been repeatedly told off for fighting (quite rightly so and largely by me). Whilst the girls are busy braiding hair and pretending to make cupcakes, the boys are looking like Lord of the Flies. Not meant to be a goady post but please let me know there's light at the end of this tunnel...anyone...

menuPlant

Oh do stop being so silly. .

Some boys are quite nice, shock horror, some girls aren’t angels, hold the front page. You do realise that you’re perpetuating stereotypes as much as anyone on here, don’t you?

I get pretty sick and tired of hearing how all teenage boys are vile sex pests and would-be rapists. Mine isn’t.

We’te all very comfy with each other. I wish you were comfortable with yourself, sorry that you’re not.

How do women claiming men are straightforward and easy to understand in comparison to women square that with the fact that young and middle aged men are over 3 times more likely than women to commit suicide.

Equality but somewhat less tragically with all the simple, straightforward, lovely kind men whose wives discover that they've been cheating repeatedly for many months or years without the wife having a clue anything was wrong.

Not to mention the innumerable men who convince a naive new girlfriend (usually one set up for this by her parents, who've passed on willingness to believe men are straightforward and women manipulative bitches) that they don't see or contribute towards their children because their ex is "psycho" only to pull the same shit on the new girlfriend once she's become the boring partner with a couple of kids(to be described to the next new girlfriend as a psycho, obviously).

Men and boys are socialised by their parents, their extended family and wider society not to talk about their friendship worries and self consciousness etc.

Swallowing all that and being a "proper boy" and then a "real man" allows parents to believe that their sons and husbands are lovely, a bit dopey perhaps, but "straightforward" I guess. They aren't though.

Some of her friends were vile. Sorry, they were. Promiscuity and bad behaviour doesn’t begin to cover it.
Who were the girls shagging? Each other?

*equally not equality. Ironically.

Women and girls are socialised to express emotion but quickly labelled bitches, foul and drama queens. This is condoned because nothing better is expected.

Men and boys are socialised to present a straightforward, less emotional front to the world, meaning that their mothers, if not particularly insightful, think the emotional turmoil, insecurity and self doubt isn't happening exactly as it does for girls. Obviously it is.

'I get pretty sick and tired of hearing how all teenage boys are vile sex pests and would-be rapists. Mine isn’t.'

Yeah we got that. Him and his friends were much nicer than your DD who you didn't like.

You mentioned that earlier.

And really it's not about you.

Your post was just an example of many on the thread, it was the nearest to hand when I wrote my post.

Don't take it so personally.

The attitude described, was part of what I wanted to express.

No one has the backs of teenage girls. I knew many men saw them as sex objects, from my own childhood etc. I didn't realise so many women hold them in such low esteem. It really dies help explain a lot and if that makes people unconfortable, what of it.

powershowerforanhour those promiscuous girls - sluts and hussies the lot of them. Obviously boys are never promiscuous, well hardly ever, not like those foul girls.

Lesbian promiscuity only then? Lower risk of unplanned pregnancy and STDs than the hetrosexual promiscuity they'd need male partners for. What a good job boys are such delights as teens.

Cognitive dissonance at it's finest!

How do women claiming men are straightforward and easy to understand in comparison to women square that with the fact that young and middle aged men are over 3 times more likely than women to commit suicide.
Is it because girls are more likely to talk/cry/argue with each other and their parents about feelings rather than suffering in silence? Thus causing so much drama, so awkward, such "hard work". Much more of a pain in the arse to have to deal with than a boy who just stomps off in silence. But less likely to kill themselves.

Power girls /women attempt suicide at a higher rate.

Less of them succeed.

Because they use less violent methods?

Or, because they're fucking drama queens.

Ummmm...

Anyhoo

Bitches and sluts yes. But sluts by themselves, no male involvement. Certainly never any inappropriate male involvement...

Probs girls need to look out for themselves while mum and dad look out for the important boys.

Like I say, the attitudes on this thread are eye opening.

TBH I went to a girls school and knew girls of all sorts of personalities, interests, levels of sportiness.

The girls who the teachers and other parents dismissed as sluts, were the ones with alcoholic parents in one case, serious medical issues in another case.

But you know, they were trouble.

Yes girls act out. Usually when there is something wrong. When they act out sometimes they are susceptible to predators, drugs, that stuff.

But as they're drams queen bitches, no one does anything.

My friends are grown up now and doing well considering. I do wonder what would have happened if any grown ups had helped at the time, rather than saying, little tarts. And leaving them to it. At what. 13-15. Ffs.

Yes girls are impossible, what can you do? Boys are much nicer.

Like I say, the attitudes on this thread are eye opening.

Not least of which yours. You seem to have quite a chip on your shoulder about something.

Every child is different. My eldest DD would be fighting and causing trouble. I think you get judged more if you have a wild daughter, none of this
Boys will be boys stuff

I have a friend with a Ds same age. He is sweet, sensitive and colours beautiful for hours. I can get 5 mins max coloring out of 4yo DD, she rather be climbing a tree.

Your daughters are not stupid, they know you don't like them

I was very aware my mother didn’t like me, and preferred my more easy going sister. I was like my dad, clever and logical, and once i was old enough to be able to ask why things were “because I said so”, and stopped being a meek obedient child, our relationship broke down.

My mum will maintain it’s because I was a terrible moody hormonal teen. I grew out of it though, and we get on well now. Which is a rose tinted view of i moved away we only see each other a couple of times a year, during which I can smile and nod.

There is a lot of confirmation bias on this thread.

@menuplant that’s an interesting point earlier re male/ female siblings. I grew up with an brother so boys have never seemed like an alien creature to me. I also think all the girls toys/ boys stuff has got a lot, a lot worse than it was when I was growing up in the 80s - we shared most toys/ passed on bikes etc where now everything seems more distinctly either pink or blue.

I think the attitudes to teenage girls on this thread are really, really upsetting and depressing.

@Andanotherthingg I am HOWLING laughing

I am sorry you’re so unhappy MenuPlant.

People are individuals, not just sexes stereotypes. Some girls are lovely, some aren’t. Some boys are lovely, some aren’t.

People can only recount their own experiences. I like my daughter very much indeed now. I did not like her very much when she was a teenager. FWIW she doesn’t like who she was when she was a teenager very much). II was horrible when I was 20. I like my son very much now because he is a pleasant individual. I may not like him at various other stages throughout his life.

Love is unconditional but liking isn’t. I don’t know how to put it more simply than that.

Why do you think I'm unhappy?

Seems a bit weird. Plenty of other posters enjoying and relating to my posts :)

You seem to be taking things very personally. I'm glad you get on with your DD now, although disliking her when she was young, due to her promiscuity, amongst other things. Luckily you had your son and his friends who were so nice, and probably helped take your mind off how awful she was.

Children always want their parents approval, they want to feel loved. Sometimes children make themselves oh so hard to love. I am a bit confused like others about this whole slutty lesbian scene that was going down but different town or something probs.

Fuck me! Just thought! You might be a grandma one day. Have you warned both your kids about girls? Probably do it all together. Watch you DD stare at the floor and then invite you on a 'girly' weekend!

Just tell them, sex selective abortions are possible. Do them a favour you couldn't do yourself :)

Okay.
Do you have children yourself?

Have a happy life. We will. Male or female, doesn’t matter really, one is as good as the other, individuals are individuals.

Oh weird.

Just realised.

This upset at how girls often behave around puberty / teens is what FGM is supposed to address, isn't it.

Don't knee jerk, consider it.

Not suggesting for a second anyone on the thread so would do that, but, comes from the same place I think.

Disgust about promisuity.
Girls no longer being biddable.

Maybe there is a way to achieve compliance without the cutting? Worth thinking about. Extreme religion is an option for eg.

'Male or female, doesn’t matter really, one is as good as the other, individuals are individuals.'

That's not what the thread is about.
It's about sexist generalisations.

You joined it to say you didn't like your daughter, and your son and his mates were awesome.

Let's not pretend here.

'Our son and his friends have always been much nicer than our daughter and hers (some of the girls were just horrid).
She’s all grown up and lovely now 😁'

Here you go.

Now she's fine

Then, her childhood and when she couldn't get away, you didn't like her.

You say she's OK now but DS is still much nicer.

After 9 years thinking no more kids he must have been, WOW!!!

Doesn't show, honest :)

Bit of a generalisation about how boys and girls act.

Not sure anyone who is going to have to parent a teenage girl in today’s world is likely to be smug.

get pretty sick and tired of hearing how all teenage boys are vile sex pests and would-be rapists. Mine isn’t.'

Do sex pests tell their mums what they get up to?

I get pretty sick and tired of hearing how all teenage boys are vile sex pests and would-be rapists. Mine isn’t.

Yet young boys can actually be dangerous. Like I said, it’s not teenage girls out on the streets stabbing each other.

I see a group of teen boys together, I’ll literally cross the street to avoid them. I do no such thing with a group of teen girls.

This thread has taken an odd turn! The OP had had a shit day and was looking for reassurance so comments were obviously boy-positive.

FWIW I don’t think I was very likeable as a teen. I certainly wouldn’t have accepted help or confided in an adult. Yet here I am at 40, sat in my mum’s living room with a cup of tea.