To say mums of girls are smug

[TheMidiMitch]

Just been at a party where my son along with the other boys have been repeatedly told off for fighting (quite rightly so and largely by me). Whilst the girls are busy braiding hair and pretending to make cupcakes, the boys are looking like Lord of the Flies. Not meant to be a goady post but please let me know there's light at the end of this tunnel...anyone...

I have two girls and I am absolutely fucking delighted about it. They will be who they will be. I feel like the luckiest person in the whole world.

'I have two girls and I am absolutely fucking delighted about it. They will be who they will be. I feel like the luckiest person in the whole world.'

How refreshing

Me too

Why are some posters so outraged about girls not being identical to boys?

Because neither are all boys identical or all girls.

There are as many differences between two children of the same sex as there are between two of the opposite. Differences aren’t so much gender related as individual related. There is plenty of research published if you care to look- the overlap between sexes is much smaller than stereotypes would have you believe.

The more we lump all boys together as being boisterous and girls as quiet and creative the greater disservice we do to the individual.

There’s a reason the vast majority of girls give up sport by 14. It’s not because all girls are bad at sport. I have had a lot of people, including my own mother, comment that dd may not want to train daily any more when she gets into make up and boys as she won’t want to be running around getting sweaty.

My girls can do anything. They can also do anything and like anything without it meaning that they aren’t a “proper girl”.

The thing with my girls is that they are completely different. One is quiet, will sit and colour in etc. The other is bonkers 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know a woman who is a total airy fairy hippy type...very artistic too. I hadn't met her ds and assumed he would be a creative, calm type...the total opposite of the stereotype of boisterous boys. When I did bump into them together she sighed and told me "all he wants to do is fight"!

@guylinerno I wasn't but obviously, you are!!

Im an arsehole because I don't call teenage girls nasty? That makes sense.

My assumption with adults who happily say "boys will be boys" etc is that they aren't very bright. I also wonder if they have similar feelings towards other groups. Do they expect black people to act a certain way? Gay people? Or are they only openly sexist?

If anyone cares to google the statistics on sexual harassment of girls in school you can safely say that boys are not exempt from being badly behaved as teenagers. Their parents just don't seem to give a shit because they're not as worried about them. People impose stricter rules on teen girls and then get surprised when they rebel.

It's the other way in my house my girl is feral and my boy is the nicest sweetest boy !!

This thread is making me want my little lady to stay as baby forever, or at least skip the teenage years 😂

This thread is nauseating. For fucks sake, what chance do our children stand if they're put in boxes from birth?

For what it's worth, I have 2 dds who are completely different people. I see none of these stereotypes in them.

I love my little crazy, boisterous, muddy, mess making, mud pie making, fairy princess dress wearing, flower picking daughter with all my heart.

(Even though she shat in the garden )

Boys and girls not being different is even more preposterous than the idea there are no outliers.

I think for some of us the reality of treating them the same and having them mostly behave differently regardless, sweeps aside any non-gendered ideas we might harbour about DCs... but I suppose every child is different so perhaps there are some people for whom it holds fast.

think for some of us the reality of treating them the same and having them mostly behave differently regardless

Kids are never treated the same. It’s insidious- gender stereotyping starts in utero and even if parents treat them the same, they pick it up from nursery, school, tv, grandparents. Parents are never as gender neutral as they think, either.

I have two boys and think they're fantastic.

Just worried about never seeing them again once they have their own families. But that's probably because of the MN hate of MILs.

If I'd had two daughters, I would have thought they were fantastic too.

Also things like this (just picked one example from among loads)

'Our son and his friends have always been much nicer than our daughter'

Thing is children can tell, right, they can tell if their mothers favour their brothers.

Even if you think you are being even handed, it's impossible to disguise from someone you are s around all the time.

I was just reminded of a thread the other day where this happened when they were young. It was subtleish but the poster knew their mum was not keen. I think it started around puberty as well...

No wonder girls are being difficult /rebelling /suffering MH issues when they are in situations where their mothers don't like them, feel they are rubbish compared to boys. Difficult, no pleasure in being around. Bitches that their mothers would swap for some boys HAHAHA but it's it really a joke...

This thread is properly vile.

Agree with PP that most violence criminality etc comes from males, schools are rife with boy on girl sexual bullying. But all of that, is nothing, because boys are great and girls are bitches. These 'dramas' and behaviour being discussed, can be a sign that something is wrong. Investigate? No it's just girls being girls, everyone knows what they're like.

If girls own parents (mothers at least) aren't interested due to dislike and gendered assumptions then girls are fucked aren't they really.

Yet my DM was adamant that we should all be taught sewing and knitting and basic DIY. I had a hammer in my hand before I was 5. I knew how to row and sail and gut fish.

But the expectations of emotional labour were far more insidious. In actual fact, I wasn't particularly the emotionally supportive type: I am more the same silent let's get on with it type as my ds and rather dislike displays of emotion, but it's hard to feel you are falling short of expectations all the time and I couldn't do it. So I learnt to do a job because it was needed.

I've got 2 DDs. One is me and one is very much DH. Mini me is WILD! Mini DH is very chilled

I hate the stereotyping of girls and boys. I was never allowed to be struggling with my wild DD because “boys are always harder”. She has ADHD, definitely Hyperactive type. But only diagnosed aged six.

Now DD wants to be a boy and decries anything “girlie”- peer influenced. We’re trying to reverse this and explain nothing is “girlie” and she can do/wear whatever she likes.

This is equally damaging for quiet boys or those who enjoy more “girlie” activities/clothes etc.

Let’s just allow kids to be who they want to be.

I have 2 DDs. 13 year old was placid, pleasant, easy-going since toddler-hood. Bit moody now but that’s to be expected at her age.

3 year old has been pushing boundaries since I gave birth to her. She’s feisty, energetic, head-strong, loves rough and tumble. Loves mischief with a passion.

I have also worked with children for years. I would say boys do generally get treated differently, encouraged to be more active and ‘not cry’ or talk about feelings.

So in conclusion, CHILDREN have different personalities but society does treat the sexes differently from birth (in general).

Thinking about it

We have a girls school near us, secondary.

Now I knew way too many men, seeing the girls on the High street, see sex objects. I know this as it was the case when I was a girl and nothing has changed, Reading the news, threads on here, seeing in real life.

I didn't realise loads of women were looking at them thinking oh look nasty bitches.

For the boys school, the men probably largely ignore them, and the women think fine young men so much better than those nasty girls, or nothing at all.

I think you can sense how people feel about you, you can tell if people are hostile. So, no wonder lots of girls are self conscious. I thought it was just down to the ogling, this thread has been an eye opener.

It also makes you realise why society as a whole doesn't 'have the back' of teen girls and then we get all this sexual abuse, self harm, MHPs etc and society shrugs and says girls eh, drama Queens to the last, and turns away.

I have two girls and I am absolutely fucking delighted about it. They will be who they will be. I feel like the luckiest person in the whole world

How lovely

The only people I know in real life who witter on about "Girls are horrid bitches, boys are lovely and cuddly and give the best hugs" are either

a) jealous as hell that they have no daughter

Or

b) married to, or the daughter of, an absolute prick, so they use their son as a source of positive male attention, this also results in them being an awful MIL

All the predicable girls are bitchy teenagers , boys are so straightforward crap. I know lovely kind teenage girls and lovely teenage boys but those boys have anxiety/ depression etc because being a teenager can be difficult whether boy or girl. Let's not tell girls they're going to be bitchy and difficult or they may just live up to it, possibly fuelled by resentment for their straightforward loving easy brother .

I went to an all girls school. It was one hell of a lot less "bitchy" than the co-ed school in town, what with all the boys being bullying prats to the girls.

My parents have 7 children: 5 girls, 2 boys. The boys caused the most trouble as teenagers. We're all lovely adults now.

I have three daughters. They are so different from each other it's amazing to watch them grow. I'm excited to see who they become as they get older.