Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this is incredibly rude of DH

282 replies

Namechange66 · 18/04/2019 20:24

I usually cook all of the evening meals for DH and I during the week as I get in from work earlier than he does. DH will usually come home from work whilst I’m half way through cooking and will be moaning about how starving he is, asking how much longer the food will be and generally being an impatient child. This evening, after spending 2 hours cooking our dinner and listening to DH moaning about being “starving”, I served our food and watched him sit opposite me at the table moving his food around the plate without eating anything. I asked him what was wrong and apparently as I had used chopped tomatoes instead of passata, the sauce was too was ‘lumpy’
and he only likes a smooth tomato sauce. He spent the next 5 minutes dramatically sliding bits of food around the plate and attempting to pick out each individual slither of chopped tomato. He eventually announced that he wasn’t hungry and left a whole plate full of freshly cooked food. I would never knowingly cook a meal using ingredients that somebody didn’t like and expect them to eat it, but that wasn’t the case here. After spending a lot of time cooking a fresh meal, WIBU to expect him to be an adult about such a very minor issue (smooth/lumpy sauce!!) and eat it, despite the fact it might not have been made EXACTLY how he wanted it?! DH says I’m being ridiculously petty but I feel furious, it just seems so ungrateful. AIBU?

OP posts:
Jazzmin · 18/04/2019 21:32

Please cook this again next week. Then serve him a bowl of spaghetti hoops as you tuck into your grown up, delicious meal!

TFBundy · 18/04/2019 21:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

SabineUndine · 18/04/2019 21:34

If he was as starving as he said he was he would have eaten it anyway. He's attention seeking about something, I would say. I'd tell him to grow up, myself.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 18/04/2019 21:36

My BIL is apparently like this, he can detect a piece of carrot that's not been cut up in the way he likes a mile off. Only does it for my sister though, if my DM cooks a big family meal he never has a single complaint...

...Your DH sounds massively ungrateful. Stop cooking for him entirely and when he asks what's for dinner say you thought he wanted to cook for himself now because otherwise you'd 'get it wrong'. 🙄

Or do what a PP said and hand him a pot noodle every night from now on Grin

Samoture · 18/04/2019 21:37

Tomorrow evening serve him a dish of pom bears and cutted up pear. Sounds about his level.

DeaflySilence · 18/04/2019 21:37

"He eventually announced that he wasn’t hungry and left a whole plate full of freshly cooked food."

As he didn't eat the food tonight, does that mean you have enough left-overs to give you a full meal tomorrow night, @Namechange66?

If so, can you have the same meal agsin for your dinner tomorrow? It would save you cooking Grin of course your DH would have to make himself a sandwich or something, but tough shit !!!

TheGrapefulDread · 18/04/2019 21:40

Buy him a present of a slow cooker and recipe book.

YemenRoadYemen · 18/04/2019 21:42

Buy some cooked chicken, preprepared salad and coleslaw for tomorrow OP. Chuck on plate - there's his dinner.

Yeah, go out and get him some nice, nutritious food and serve it up to him.

That'll teach him. ConfusedHmm

SofaSurfer20 · 18/04/2019 21:45

Youre the one being ridiculously petty?!?!

Is he taking the piss?

Stiffasaboard · 18/04/2019 21:47

You spent two hours cooking a tomato based sauce?

He’s being ungrateful and rude.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 18/04/2019 21:48

What a massive twat.

I'd make sure I ate before he got home in future. I certainly wouldn't be cooking for him until a huge massive apology came my way.

Please show him this thread so he knows we all think he's a bellend Smile

LunafortJest · 18/04/2019 21:49

He sounds like an absolute pig! He is petty and immature, and should be grateful you are cooking him dinner, and it sounds like you go to a lot of trouble. You should show him this thread. Might wake him out of his petty immaturity and give him a reality check. Also, I would suggest to him that he cooks his own dinner from now on, and you cook yours. See how long he lasts before he comes back grovelling at your feet with an apology.

gingerbeers · 18/04/2019 21:50

What an absolute knob! He wouldn't EVER get another meal cooked by me!

hettie · 18/04/2019 21:50

The very idea that you cook every night because you're home first stopped me in my tracks....ehh?

Meandwinealone · 18/04/2019 21:50

She spent 2 hours cooking lamb. Ffs.
It wasn’t just a fucking tomato sauce

Here is the recipe. I presume

If someone gave me this I would think they were fucking amazing

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/lamb-recipes/mediterranean-braised-lamb-and-couscous/

Namechange66 · 18/04/2019 21:52

@Meandwinealone yes that’s the one! Grin

OP posts:
AppleCiderVinegar · 18/04/2019 21:52

That dinner sounds amazing OP.

Your DH can fuck right off.

Honeyroar · 18/04/2019 21:53

The correct reply was "tomorrow you are cooking".

Meandwinealone · 18/04/2019 21:54

And I understand why you cook if you get home first! If you cook things like this you clearly enjoy it,
Nothing wrong with that.

But he sounds pretty horrid op. He could get a snack if he was starving.

Don’t end up being his mother.

I really do think you need to sit down and talk to him, perhaps he just didn’t like it.

Meandwinealone · 18/04/2019 21:55

Sorry pressed too soon
Maybe he didn’t like it and isn’t mature enough to communicate, in which case he needs to work on that.

But I am erring on him being ungrateful and spoilt and entitled

Grumpelstilskin · 18/04/2019 21:57

I would not cook for my DH again if he pulled that sort of stunt, unless he grovelled for days. I had an abusive ex, it was part of his emotional abuse to moan about my cooking to undermine me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/04/2019 21:59

I agree that you should save his for tomorrow night (for you) and he gets nothing. Dry toast or baby food maybe.

Miscella · 18/04/2019 21:59

I must live in a parallel universe. This scenario wouldn’t bother me - it’s not me going hungry so why would it? If he didn’t like it he didn’t like it, I don’t get the big deal. i do most of the cooking in our house and sometimes dh doesn’t like/fancy what I’ve cooked, it’s no big deal it just means he will get himself some toast/oven chips/whatever.

derxa · 18/04/2019 22:04

Microwave dinners.

RosamundDarnley · 18/04/2019 22:08

@Miscella did you read the OP? Where he pushed the food around to find a bit of tomato-less tomato sauce (like a child may do in a fit of ultra-fussiness) and whined that it wasn't passata? He then decided he wasn't hungry after all.

I guess he then put his toys away and had his bath then bed. If he's good he might go to the park with Granny tomorrow . Oh sorry, I forgot. He's meant to be an adult. Hmm