To think that this is incredibly rude of DH

[Namechange66]

I usually cook all of the evening meals for DH and I during the week as I get in from work earlier than he does. DH will usually come home from work whilst I’m half way through cooking and will be moaning about how starving he is, asking how much longer the food will be and generally being an impatient child. This evening, after spending 2 hours cooking our dinner and listening to DH moaning about being “starving”, I served our food and watched him sit opposite me at the table moving his food around the plate without eating anything. I asked him what was wrong and apparently as I had used chopped tomatoes instead of passata, the sauce was too was ‘lumpy’
and he only likes a smooth tomato sauce. He spent the next 5 minutes dramatically sliding bits of food around the plate and attempting to pick out each individual slither of chopped tomato. He eventually announced that he wasn’t hungry and left a whole plate full of freshly cooked food. I would never knowingly cook a meal using ingredients that somebody didn’t like and expect them to eat it, but that wasn’t the case here. After spending a lot of time cooking a fresh meal, WIBU to expect him to be an adult about such a very minor issue (smooth/lumpy sauce!!) and eat it, despite the fact it might not have been made EXACTLY how he wanted it?! DH says I’m being ridiculously petty but I feel furious, it just seems so ungrateful. AIBU?

In 2001 dh complained that his clothes that I had washed for him had one of my (then very long) hairs on it.

In 2017 I started washing his clothes again.

I think he's the petty one. Plus if the texture is such a massive issue to him, then why has he never mentioned it to you before? He needs to do more cooking and be more grateful

Two hours to make a tomato sauce, using tinned? That’s a very long time.

Tomorrow evening bring yourself in a takeaway and let the baby feed himself.

Sorry, just read your update. Blimey, ambitious for a working person on a Thursday.
Send him to the chippie tomorrow.

Tell him m he was a tit. Forget it.

I'd serve dinner and start eating it just before he comes in. Then when he asks where his is you can point to an empty plate.

after spending 2 hours cooking our dinner

Two hours to make a tinned tomato sauce???? What were you doing?

Has he eaten this sauce before? Did he enjoy it? Is he generally a baby??

If any member of my family had treated a dish I'd cooked for them like that I'd have taken it away from them. Man child.

But apart from that, if you know he's starving after work, then why wait 2 hours for tea? Maybe he was hangry??

And does he take his turn at cooking at the weekends? Is he a cooking god, if he's so keen to moan at your cooking?

Did you know he doesn't like chopped tomatoes? Because if you did & ignored it then I can see his point.

He spent the next 5 minutes dramatically sliding bits of food around the plate and attempting to pick out each individual slither of chopped tomato.

Did you not want to laugh when he did this OP? It sounds hilarious, a grown man behaving like a fussy six year old. Agree with everyone else, stop cooking for him until he can find his manners.

Well, he's behaving like a prick, but whether it's worth trying to fix it depends on what things are like, generally.
Whose idea was it, initially, for you to do all the cooking? Could it be that he would actually prefer a takeaway or a ready meal, but you feel obliged to cook something elaborate and time-consuming to demonstrate that you are a proper woman really? Or did he imply, or say, that as you get home first (and your little lady-job is less important than his penis job) cooking is your responsiblity, and he is your master who you must please?
Who does the bulk of the other domestic work such as laundry, cleaning, gardening?

Lastly, has he always been nice, fair and appreciateive of your cooking in the past, so this bout of complaining came out of the blue?

How the fuck did my 21 month old DS sneak off and get married without me knowing??

Seriously, he sounds like a man-child. Treat him exactly like DH and I treat DS - this is what's for dinner, you don't have to eat it but that's all there is.

Meanwhile over on Pistonheads (Or other male dominated chat forum).....He eats the tea you've cooked and says thanks, or he microwaves a ginsters and shuts the fuck up. That's how it rolls here.

How long have you been married? Did you not know he doesn’t like lumpy tinned tomatoes or is this a new thing?

I think he was rude, and he generally sounds annoying, moaning about “how long” etc but on the other hand some things just are not what you fancy, and maybe you should scale back midweek meals to quick and easy plainer stuff?

Mummyoftwoyoungkids, why did you cave in?

What a tool. I honestly don't know how some of you can be arsed to cook for ungrateful partners.

In your case OP if I could muster the inclination to cook for him ever again, it would simply be a lukewarm bowl of passata. And some baby cutlery.

Get this bell end to make his own tea from now on and yours as well. So what that he gets in later, you've been doing it for years.Time to change and make yourself a snack and wait for him coming in to get started. I wouldn't be doing anymore meals for him no chance. Hes a prick.

Ungrateful little shit. Get him to start making dinner. We'll see how he feels about having to cook for the two of you every evening.

How on earth can you spend two whole hours cooking on a weekday!!?? That's an hour and a half too long.

Re chopped tomatoes, I use them all the time and he’s never complained before. I did raise that point during our little argument after dinner and he said they are not usually lumpy and perhaps I hadn’t cooked the food for long enough.... after moaning that the food takes too long!!

The phrase "cook your own fucking dinner then" was very useful to me on the one occasion that there was a complaint. Funnily enough I never heard another.

Feel free to deploy phase whenever necessary.

Christ.

Every day Mumsnet reminds me that I am nowhere near grateful enough for my lovely, kind DH. Who always says how nice my cooking is, and thanks me for it, no matter how rushed or uninspired it might be from time to time.

Fucking hell.

for you OP.

Some people enjoy cooking and find it relaxing, even during the week. And it's not the point, the point is a whingy, stroppy, gaslighting, ungrateful person.

Little Lord Fauntleroy was being passive aggressive because his ickle dinner wasn't served up quickly enough, that's where the chopped tom comment came. It's the punish you for not meeting his exacting standards.

Buy some cooked chicken, preprepared salad and coleslaw for tomorrow OP. Chuck on plate - there's his dinner. Jesus! He's enough to drive a girl to drink.