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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this is incredibly rude of DH

282 replies

Namechange66 · 18/04/2019 20:24

I usually cook all of the evening meals for DH and I during the week as I get in from work earlier than he does. DH will usually come home from work whilst I’m half way through cooking and will be moaning about how starving he is, asking how much longer the food will be and generally being an impatient child. This evening, after spending 2 hours cooking our dinner and listening to DH moaning about being “starving”, I served our food and watched him sit opposite me at the table moving his food around the plate without eating anything. I asked him what was wrong and apparently as I had used chopped tomatoes instead of passata, the sauce was too was ‘lumpy’
and he only likes a smooth tomato sauce. He spent the next 5 minutes dramatically sliding bits of food around the plate and attempting to pick out each individual slither of chopped tomato. He eventually announced that he wasn’t hungry and left a whole plate full of freshly cooked food. I would never knowingly cook a meal using ingredients that somebody didn’t like and expect them to eat it, but that wasn’t the case here. After spending a lot of time cooking a fresh meal, WIBU to expect him to be an adult about such a very minor issue (smooth/lumpy sauce!!) and eat it, despite the fact it might not have been made EXACTLY how he wanted it?! DH says I’m being ridiculously petty but I feel furious, it just seems so ungrateful. AIBU?

OP posts:
smidgesmum11 · 18/04/2019 22:45

I don't cook anything or iron anything because of similar situations. However it's a symptom I feel of an unpleasant person.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 18/04/2019 22:47

Are you sure he didn’t sneak a snack and therefore wasn’t hungry when the meal arrived? (Also v rude though...)

ChipSandwich · 18/04/2019 22:51

It must have taken me so long to type my post that I completely missed that it was braised lamb that took 2 hours.

I couldn't be arsed with that on a weeknight.

And if I did, and somebody pushed it round their plate instead of eating it, I'd never do it again. I'd buy a couple of co-op cheese and red onion sandwiches, toast them, and do a job lot of oven chips to go with it. And possibly a tomato for health reasons.

It took me all of 20 minutes. Melty cheese is better than any meat.

LillithsFamiliar · 18/04/2019 22:57

smidges yy I don't iron for that reason too.

threecee · 18/04/2019 22:58

Didn't you read the post ? it was a Jamie Oliver recipe of Braised lamb with couscous,and tomato sauce.Not a pasta dish she could make in 20 minutes !

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 18/04/2019 23:00

If I'm cooking Dp might ask how long it's going to be. If it's a while and he's starving he gets himself a snack and if it's imminent and he's not hungry he plates it up and keeps it warm in the oven for later. No need ever to make a meal out of a meal.

Meandwinealone · 18/04/2019 23:01

Some people like cooking nice food
Some people are interested and find joy in cooking

How has this thread become about the op being a dick for cooking a nice dinner on a week night

Unbelievable, and so typically mumsnet.

Not everyone feels ground down by cooking!!

DameDoom · 18/04/2019 23:09

I'd have blended his head.

thedragonwithblueeyes · 18/04/2019 23:10

Got to Asda, buy a few jars of spaghetti Bolognese (the Heinz baby food version) along with a couple of tinned chilli and some fray bentos pies and that's his tea sorted for next week 👍🏼

thedragonwithblueeyes · 18/04/2019 23:13

It's worth adding that my H went out Sunday and got drunk and gipped into the Sunday dinner I'd made when he got home. He hasn't had food made for him all week so far.

Bowerbird5 · 18/04/2019 23:16

I’m tired. I didn’t read register it properly the first time. I thought it was a child you were talking about!

Bowerbird5 · 18/04/2019 23:17

Can you arrange to meet friends, relatives next week. Make him cook his own.

XXcstatic · 18/04/2019 23:17

Your DH is a childish twunt. Having said that, my DH works from home and often insists on cooking elaborate meals - which sounds great in theory but, when I come back from work absolutely starving, often without having had time to eat lunch, I would so much prefer a quick bowl of pasta in 15 minutes than a beautiful meal that takes an hour and a half. I actually find it quite controlling to have to wait while he faffs around.

Bowerbird5 · 18/04/2019 23:18

? Sorry too much vino.

spottycap · 18/04/2019 23:25

My god. What a petulant man child. Stop cooking immediately. Remind yourself you can always go back to cooking for him if you want but right now give yourself some space and time and enjoy it while you have a break.

Cook and eat your own dinner and when he finally breaks from actual starvation you can decide how you’d like to move forward with the situation. Don’t say anything just stop cooking. Maybe go for a stroll the minute your dh walks in. Without you he may have to call and disturb your work to find out where you store food. This situations sounds that bad Wink

Ohyesiam · 18/04/2019 23:29

He thinks you’re being petty? He can cook for himself.

Fiveredbricks · 18/04/2019 23:31

Stop cooking for him. Tbh I'd divorce a cunt who acted like that over anything.

FrozenMargarita17 · 18/04/2019 23:32

He sounds like an absolute fucking baby.

HoppingPavlova · 18/04/2019 23:33

You lost me with the two hour dinner but the guy is a complete dick. Cook for yourself and let him sort himself out no matter how late he gets home, beans on toast doesn’t take long.

Skybooks · 18/04/2019 23:33

My DH wouldn't have eaten it even if he was starving as he dorsnt like chopped tomato. - how has this never come up?

Don't spend 2 hours cooking dinner unless you have the time.

CalmDownPacino · 18/04/2019 23:36

God it's really fucking sad that there are people on here who are trying to Off we cooking tips, or criticism to the OP. Telling her how to improve her cooking so that entitled cunt can enjoy his hard earned meal. PLEASE go to a forum, dominated by men, and find a similar thread. You won't. WAKE UP.

FoxSquadKitten · 18/04/2019 23:37

But apart from that, if you know he's starving after work, then why wait 2 hours for tea? Maybe he was hangry??

If he was 'hangry' then he would've bloody eaten it 🤬

Ooh he sounds such a catch, OP, has he got a brother? 🙄

mummmy2017 · 18/04/2019 23:38

You ungrateful bastard .. is what I would have said.
However now you just tell him he can cook from now on

CalmDownPacino · 18/04/2019 23:43

Fucking "hangry"!! Tell you what, when I got home tonight I was raging hungry. I earn more than him, I work more hours than him and yet weirdly I have a cunt. This may sound crazy but wait, I had a bag of monster munch whilst waiting for tea. I know, I know, it's radical! Next week he's on lates and I'm doing tea. Fuck me, eh?

NCforthis2019 · 18/04/2019 23:45

He’s an idiot. Make him cook his own dinner tomorrow and thereafter. What a baffling man-child!