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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this is incredibly rude of DH

282 replies

Namechange66 · 18/04/2019 20:24

I usually cook all of the evening meals for DH and I during the week as I get in from work earlier than he does. DH will usually come home from work whilst I’m half way through cooking and will be moaning about how starving he is, asking how much longer the food will be and generally being an impatient child. This evening, after spending 2 hours cooking our dinner and listening to DH moaning about being “starving”, I served our food and watched him sit opposite me at the table moving his food around the plate without eating anything. I asked him what was wrong and apparently as I had used chopped tomatoes instead of passata, the sauce was too was ‘lumpy’
and he only likes a smooth tomato sauce. He spent the next 5 minutes dramatically sliding bits of food around the plate and attempting to pick out each individual slither of chopped tomato. He eventually announced that he wasn’t hungry and left a whole plate full of freshly cooked food. I would never knowingly cook a meal using ingredients that somebody didn’t like and expect them to eat it, but that wasn’t the case here. After spending a lot of time cooking a fresh meal, WIBU to expect him to be an adult about such a very minor issue (smooth/lumpy sauce!!) and eat it, despite the fact it might not have been made EXACTLY how he wanted it?! DH says I’m being ridiculously petty but I feel furious, it just seems so ungrateful. AIBU?

OP posts:
LifeImplosionImminent · 19/04/2019 19:09

I genuinely don't understand these posts...He's your husband, so was he a completely different person before you married him? Surely he was a spoilt man child all his life how did it only just manifest? I don't think you are BU but you did legally and financially tie yourself to him...good luck trying to get him to grow up!

greenpop21 · 19/04/2019 19:10

I f I was you , he would have bean wearing it!

greenpop21 · 19/04/2019 19:11

been!

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 19/04/2019 19:14

I'd have tipped the whole plate full into a blender and served it back to him pureed. Then I'd have offered to feed it to him on a plastic spoon. He's a twat.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 19/04/2019 19:23

Make him cook his own. What a man child!
He sounds like an ungrateful 10 year old boy.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 19/04/2019 19:23

Why do people keep mentioning pasta sauce?

Because they’re too fucking stupid to read the thread properly 🤬 ‘Two hours to make pasta sauce?!’ is surely the new ‘Just cancel the cheque!!’

OP - I was going to suggest making one portion of his favourite meal for yourself and serving him a dish of passata with a straw. However, if you really want to punish him, make him have dinner with all the posters on this thread who STILL haven’t twigged you weren’t making a bowl of pasta.

MerryMarigold · 19/04/2019 19:28

I'll tell you what happened because this is my ds (now 13) and will probably be him when he's married. He snacked and then wasn't hungry enough for food with visible vegetables. Ah well... Am giving Ds1 cooking lessons so a. He knows the effort that goes in and b. He can cook his own if its not up to his standard.

Sunshineface123 · 19/04/2019 19:34

That sounds delicious and he sounds like a rude baby. I wouldn't accept that from a child!

CaMePlaitPas · 19/04/2019 19:35

OP, I haven't read the full thread but I have one like this. I made a pasta bake recently from scratch and found myself blending the sauce in the blender, not for the kids but for my husband. He thanked me afterwards but honestly I couldn't believe I was doing it.

Lunde · 19/04/2019 19:37

@MycatiscalkedElvis - 2 hours cooking a pasta dish? And using tinned tomatoes?? Hmmm not sure I believe you OP sorry!

Hmmmm - not sure I believe that you have ACTUALLY read OP's replies

OP didn't say that she made pasta - she actually made lamb in Mediterranean tomato sauce!
www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/lamb-recipes/mediterranean-braised-lamb-and-couscous/

keepforgettingmyusername · 19/04/2019 19:39

Why are people still talking about pasta? SHE DIDNT MAKE PASTA 🤯

ginghamtablecloths · 19/04/2019 19:39

If you can take the trouble to cook a meal he can take the trouble to eat it. Or go home to mother, who I assume will treat him like the child he is.

GarthFunkel · 19/04/2019 19:45

What was for tea tonight?

MycatiscalkedElvis · 19/04/2019 19:48

My bad 😢
Sorry, I skimmed through and arrogantly commented before I read the OP thread.

Oysterbabe · 19/04/2019 20:01

How long have you been married? How come his dislike of tinned tomatoes hasn't come up before now?

KickAssAngel · 19/04/2019 20:04

I would just cook, eat and clean up dinner for myself before he even got home. Then when he asked for dinner, point out that as he doesn't like my cooking he will never have to eat it again, and suggest he make himself something.

And stick to that until he apologized. From then on he'd be taking equal share of meal prep.

Cambionome · 19/04/2019 20:05

Oh ffs.

READ THE FUCKING THREAD!!!!!

Zucker · 19/04/2019 20:05

Why the fuck are you still doing it then @Bozlem80 ? 4 meals for a shower of ingrates!!!

YemenRoadYemen · 19/04/2019 20:30

I agree @LifeImplosionImminent

PurplePenguins · 19/04/2019 20:40

Not RTFT so maybe repeating. YANBU. Let him spend hours cooking and then you can push it around the plate and moan and see if he still thinks you're being petty.

Bittern11 · 19/04/2019 20:59

@Bozlem80, so why do it?

Make tea for you, not just a crappy sandwich. Your h can make his own tea after the gym. Your 16yo is old enough to cook for himself, the lazy, entitled arse.

Don’t be a martyr.

Floralhousecoat · 19/04/2019 21:07

This thread is unbelievable. Do women really believe that their partners and grown children would starve to death if their every culinary demands weren't catered for? Of course, in an equal partnership you share the chores. But this is just ridiculous. Women are their own worst enemies sometimes, putting up with being treated like unpaid slaves. Just stop. Do everyone a favour and stop pandering to ungrateful husbands/kids. It will be good for you AND them.

Moondancer73 · 19/04/2019 21:45

Pizza and chips for him from now on then!

Happynow001 · 19/04/2019 22:12

@Floralhousecoat
Yep!

MaryBerryCouldNever · 19/04/2019 22:14

That scene from beauty and the beast comes to mind, "WELL GO AHEAD AND STARRRRRRRVEEE" You have done well not to have injured him tbh.