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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

417 replies

Flyinga · 18/04/2019 20:04

Good, bad, ugly etc.

OP posts:
Spartak · 20/04/2019 23:52

Never thought I would get to 40 and realise I'll never have kids or get married. I always thought it would just happen and went on living my life, but it never did.

SmellsLikeAdultSpirit · 20/04/2019 23:52

I'm in a particularly bad place so apologies
I didn't think I'd lose most of my family in their 60's so that makes me feel very alone
I did think I would have trouble conceiving but fertility treatment worked so all good
Didn't think I'd have a SN child or ever adopt
Didn't think I would be beaten up by my own child
Didn't think, after all DC losses, that they would have a partner who committed suicide
Particularly raw as its recent and the worst pain I've ever had because DC is hurting and their partner was 16 and its heartbreaking

SmellsLikeAdultSpirit · 20/04/2019 23:54

On a happier note I didn't think I'd get a university education and, although it was in an unorthodox way, I have 2 degrees
I'd rather have my family and those we have lost

greenlloon · 21/04/2019 00:23

i didnt think i would be writing on mumsnet in the early hours of easter sunday

mokapot · 21/04/2019 02:50

Never thought I’d be divorced
Always thought I’d have the support of my parents
Never thought I’d leave England
Never thought I’d feel Lonely....
Never thought I’d nearly die from a fatal overdose

Grateful for my kids

BastardGoDarkly · 21/04/2019 03:38

Honestly never saw myself in a small rural village, trying to fit in, and be happy with my lot (still not, but everyone else is so.....)

Crumble2 · 21/04/2019 03:49

Never thought my younger brother would die unexpectedly.
I miss him.

Boneshere · 21/04/2019 04:49

Bad- Never thought I would be physically disabled, or be Autistic, have no career or even know what I wanted to do, never thought I would gain 10 stone.

Good - go to the U.S, go to Disneyland Paris and World. Go to Kennedy Space center, remarry, have another child, like a Mother in law, understand how my mother felt when I was a teen, leave my home town, lose 6 of the 10 stone and still have the motivation to continue.

Munchkin08 · 21/04/2019 11:29

I never imagined the man I had been with for 20 years would tell me he was gay.

therearenogoodusernamesleft · 21/04/2019 11:38

Divorced before I was 30. Though I wanted kids, decided I didn't, fell pregnant and had a termination. Never ever thought that would be me. An affair. It's all been a bit of a mess, tbh. Assumed I'd live overseas and never have.

Plus side - a better career than I expected. Living in London and adoring it. Having two cats.

It's an interesting thread to read - thinking about what life we all thought we might have had. I think it might help me get back to where I want to be.

MrsAitch13 · 21/04/2019 11:49

Never thought I'd become the widow at 52. Never ever thought I would be this lonely.

FabulouslyFab · 21/04/2019 14:47

I never expected to get to the age of 61 and spend nights lying awake regretting cast off remarks I made to Mum, Dad or little Sister, all dead now, that will have hurt them. 😢

Shushandpat · 21/04/2019 14:51

A beautiful daughter who has made me understand all the cliches about how wonderful children are!

A career I love.

My own garden!

FookMeFookYou · 21/04/2019 15:12

Ending up with zero friends by my early 30's

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 21/04/2019 15:17

This is a really interesting thread to read and it gives hope that things can turn around if it seems like all is lost. Really makes me believe in that old chestnut "you never know what's around the corner", both positive and negative.

Zena1973 · 21/04/2019 19:06

Never ever expected to be so engaged with a thread on mumsnet. You all absolutely rock!! Reading this has restored my equliberam and drive to get through my exams in a few weeks and carry on building a better life for myself. I think each and every one of you are amazing. Flowers

Mehs · 21/04/2019 21:40

Up until my teens I expected to continue to work hard at school, continue with college and uni and end up with a decent career at the end - nope!
Then depression hit and I honestly didn't expect to be here at all, definitely not to have 3 kids starting as young as I did with a guy 18 years older than me.

I didn't expect to ever be self employed earning a decent amount.

To learn another language.

To break up with the love of my life.

I didn't expect to put up with a shitty relationship.

I didn't expect to develop anorexia, then 'recover' in the opposite direction.

I just didn't expect to be happy, which overall I really am, and this thread makes me appreciate all that more.

Travellinghappy · 21/04/2019 22:34

Never thought I’d qualify as a paramedic in my 40s and actually save the odd life. I was really squeamish in my teens and early twenties.

kealey1977 · 23/04/2019 20:31

I never thought I would go to university but graduated at 28 as a single parent with 2 children aged 10 & 6 then met (on a holiday) and married a farmer (4 years later) and moved to the middle of no where to be a farmers wife and sahm with 5 children. I had never been near a sheep till I met my husband and I can now help deliver a lamb and drive a tractor. This was definitely never a life I ever dreamt I would be living.

Frangipane · 23/04/2019 20:33

I never thought I would have a parent with dementia. It's such crap.

OTOH, the rest of my life has turned out pretty much as I expected.

Bunnybigears · 23/04/2019 20:35

I never thought I would have depression, I thought depression was what happened to other people.
I also never thought I would have to put my two under 4s in the car and drive around the bridges/cliffs in my area hoping to find my DH before he jumped.

ForalltheSaints · 23/04/2019 20:42

I'm not very musical unlike most of my family, and I never thought I would ever be in a recording studio, yet I am the only one to be on a top 20 single this century.
I never expected to own my own home after being made redundant for the fourth time.
I never thought I would now be in a non-car household, which I have done for over ten years.
I never expected to find out most if not all of the things about my heritage and ancestry, some happy, some very sad.
I never expected that some people I have never met and never will have laughed at things I have written.

twinkledag · 23/04/2019 20:42

Suffering with infertility.

I always thought I'd have a big family.

mineofuselessinformation · 23/04/2019 20:43

Infertility.
Child with a severe disability.
Child with ADD.
Divorce.
Life-threatening illness in a child already mentioned.
Three prolapses needing surgery, and one untreatable.
Death of my DDad less than a month after he was diagnosed with cancer and told he had 12 - 18 months.
Supporting my DMum as the only child left in the country through her bereavement and what will ultimately be a life-ending condition.

Pasithea · 23/04/2019 20:46

Never thought I’d not have a career or children due to a horrendous illness. Got nothing to show for my life.