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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

417 replies

Flyinga · 18/04/2019 20:04

Good, bad, ugly etc.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 19/04/2019 17:58

So very sorry to hear @Julia001

TheSheepHaveEyes · 19/04/2019 17:58

I never thought I'd end up living in Scotland, and loving it more than anywhere I've ever lived before. And I never thought that ex and I would ever separate. I thought we'd be the couple who lasted the distance, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Julia001 · 19/04/2019 17:59

Thank you , I will never ever be the same again. Sad

ShowerOfShite · 19/04/2019 18:00

I never thought I'd return to the UK but here I am.
Also never thought I'd ever get this fat.

bluejelly · 19/04/2019 18:01

Life is strange isn't it?

Never thought I'd be in an abusive relationship. (Escaped after 3 years.)
Never thought I'd be a single mum.
Never thought I'd meet someone else.
Never thought I'd be as happy and settled as I am now.

mbosnz · 19/04/2019 18:02

I never thought I'd live through a major natural disaster. Well, two of 'em.

I never thought I'd be married. 25 years to the best husband evah.

Never thought I'd have kids. Two of the best kids evah.

Never thought I'd end up a SAHP. Oh dear.

Never thought I'd end up moving to the other side of the world. Huh.

mbosnz · 19/04/2019 18:02

Julia, I'm so sorry for your loss. That is terrible.

Glitterblue · 19/04/2019 18:03

Bad: having a baby 13 weeks premature (thankfully she's fine)

Having only one child

Good: ending up living back in my home town, 5 minutes from my parents, with my husband who I met in a city I used to live in, far from home.

NicolaC17 · 19/04/2019 18:04

Bad: having 3 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. You think having children is a given (if you want them) it’s really not and so many people struggle, I now know being open about my struggles. We now have a beautiful daughter after being part of a trial for miscarriages.

Good. Ran the London marathon twice (like actually ran the whole way) and enjoy it.
Live in a 4 bedroom detached house in a lovely area.

user1471453601 · 19/04/2019 18:05

Bad having cancer three times

Good. Surviving cancer three times, with no chemotherapy

HelloMonday · 19/04/2019 18:05
Flowers
Meanroda · 19/04/2019 18:05

I never thought I'd lose my mum so early in life. Also, I definately didn't expect to get pregnant and change my whole life plans without her being here with me.

jacquesjacques · 19/04/2019 18:06

Pregnant five times by the age of 31 with no children. I genuinely never thought any kind of fertility problems would happen to me.

dms1 · 19/04/2019 18:13

Bad: My darling hubby has erectile dysfunction & nothing works - not even injections in his penis. Sex life ended at 40. We miss sex so much.

Good: Hubby & I cherish & love each other. Genuine soulmates. Got together at 16, still together & we’re almost 50.
2 beautiful children who are my living joy.

jerrysbellyhangslikejelly · 19/04/2019 18:13

I never thought I’d loose my dad. I know how utterly stupid that sounds but he was my best friend, my confidant, my number one supporter, my inspiration, my favourite person in the entire world, the reason I stayed alive for a long time.

I also never thought I’d earn a degree, let alone graduate top of my class from the largest university in the country with several awards for my academic work. I never thought I’d hold down a professional job where people trust and respect me for my skills and abilities. I never thought I’d have friends and I most definitely never thought I’d have a happy, long term relationship with someone who wants to have a family with me. My 20’s were very difficult, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and spent long, long spells in hospital. However, thanks in large part to my dad (and lithium) I am where I am today and nothing makes me prouder than when people tell me I’m just like him.

Nobodyisperfect · 19/04/2019 18:14

Chronic illness which is now finally under some level of control but caused me to have problems completing my degree and get a third. After doing so well at school that was a shock.
Weight struggles
Career struggles due to illness
Fertility issues and miscarriage(Now have 2 beautiful dd so very thankful for them when for years we thought it would never happen)
DH going to prison for a non violent crime he didn’t commit and I 100 per cent know he didn’t commit.
Being without dh and bringing dds up on their own for this time.
Mental health problems for dh and mental health problems for me. Him PTSD from a difficult upbringing and the shock of prison. Me depression and anxiety.
Dh having a short affair soon after he came home with my Best friend(He thought he was a good guy and shocked himself too)
Taking dh back and trying to work things out(Always thought I would throw anyone who cheated on me out and never take them back)
Having my heart broken by the one person who I never thought would and the other person I was closest to in the world taking advantage of our vulnerabilities which she knew all about.
The hate I can feel for one person.
The anger.
How hard it is to rebuild a marriage.
The number of people who actually do rebuild their marriage.
The love for my children.
Mummy guilt.

Wtf1973 · 19/04/2019 18:15

“Widowed” at 42..we never married
Fell in love ....Lost love
Think it was too soon after Partner passing
Mental health and self esteem not good

AnnabelleLecter · 19/04/2019 18:24

I never expected my ex to cheat.
He never thought I would divorce him.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I would meet my true love and best friend shortly after.

FitMum87 · 19/04/2019 18:29

Never thought I’d get meningitis from a urine infection.

Never thought I’d find a nice kind man

Never thought I’d have the balls to do what makes me happy 😃

purplepansyem · 19/04/2019 18:30

Finding the love of my life - I've been with my husband for 32 years now. We met when I was 17. I never dreamed I would be so lucky.

Having kids - We tried for 7 years before I fell pregnant and had given up.

Having an autistic child - Made that much harder because we knew something was wrong but didn't get a diagnosis until she had started secondary school.

Losing my Mum at the age of 31 - I always thought she would be around for ever because she was such a strong woman.

Getting so ill I had to have a permanent ileostomy. I had it done at the age of 33 but it saved my life so I can't complain!

WBWIFE · 19/04/2019 18:31

I never thought I'd be married, with a child and buying my third and final house (forever family home) at the age of 24.

I am very blessed, but really thought I'd be travelling the world full time at this age.

honeyharris · 19/04/2019 18:31

Moving to Scotland and settling happily there.
Having an autoimmune condition (ulcerative colitis)
Having my child at 38 years old.
Having to stop at one child due to physical and mental health problems.
Combining a fairly responsible, sensible job with burlesque dance as a hobby.

FitMum87 · 19/04/2019 18:33

This one is only looking back - Never thought my mum would die at 31 when she was fit and healthy, kind and everyone I know abuses drugs, alcohol, food and is unkind and has outlived her - so unfair

Never thought I’d be so Over the moon happy and excited to create a business (and to invest my life savings) to 18months later wanting to never see or hear about it again.

FitMum87 · 19/04/2019 18:35

Never thought I’d have an extremely terrible childhood to know I would never want that for any child. Then to find out my own child has been suffering for years Sad

inchoccyheaven · 19/04/2019 18:53

Never thought I would be gay. No idea at all until I was 38 and drunkenly kissed my best friend and liked it. Luckily she did too and after cheating on our husbands for a few months which we are not proud of at all, left our marriages and 4 years later got married and moved in together.

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