AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

[Flyinga]

Good, bad, ugly etc.

I'm so sorry @Caxx

Trouble conceiving. I haven't rtft but hve seen a few ladies saying it took a few tries but ivf worked. We are starting our first round in a month or so, hoping to be equally as successful 🤞
Having conceived my first relatively easily, I assumed I'd have no trouble, although I have a new partner now. Turns out I am now infertile and he has always been, so it was a bit of a shock to be honesy

Being married to my best friend and having a family. Wasn’t maternal at all in my early 20’s and not bothered about getting married, fast forward 10 years and couldn’t be happier!

Giving birth to a dead baby, and surviving the grief

Bad: never thought I’d be in social housing (always saw this as the ultimate failure). Never thought I’d be a single parent. Never thought I’d fail in every single relationship- cheated on every single time.
Never ever thought I’d be targeted/groomed/knocked off my feet by a paedophile who used me for access to my daughters.

Good: never knew I would have the balls to report him to the police before he got anywhere near my daughters (never even met them) when he slipped up big time.
Never knew I’d rock at creating a home, transforming a complete shit pit to create a little house I am so so proud of.
Never knew I was cleverer than (some of) my teachers thought smashing a wicked degree, PGCE and a masters all as a single parent.

So life is never what you expect!
I don’t live mortgage free, child free or happily ever after with a man as I always imagined... my daughters brought me my happily ever after!

Never thought I would be abused as a child by my brother, cousin and best friends older brother. They were similar ages and friends so I think they were in on it together.

Hitting my late teens and really beginning to understand what happened to me. Followed with depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts.

Pressed self destruct and went from a high achiever at school to basically dropping out.

Finally came clean at the end of sixth form only for my family to forgive my brother. It has truly devastated me. I tried to have them convicted but I didnt have enough evidence, ended up dropping everything after pressure from my family. Still have to see my brother and cousin at family events, most of my family is in the dark and im expected to be the bigger person and get on with it.

Never thought I would trust someone enough to be in a relationship but I met my partner 7 years ago at work.

Never thought I would take on a man with massive debts, an ex wife and a daughter.

Never thought I would have children but I now have a ds I couldn't live without and have found that I adore my step daughter. Never thought I would struggle to conceive a second child but its been a few years and so far nothing.

Never thought my partner would turn round a few weeks ago and tell me it was over. He changed his mind and I have forgiven him but now im paranoid as I dont know what caused it.

I never expected that even now 20 years after the abuse that I would still feel the effects of it. Im so terrified of it happening to my son and step daughter and constantly scrutinise the people they come into contact with. Im dreading my son going to school as I cant protect him when hes away from me.

I didn’t have the best upbringing so therefore didn’t imagine I’d have a decent life as an adult. However I have a loving long term partner, a beautiful daughter, own my own home, have a career which I love and now have 2 dogs. It may sound silly but I never imagined my life would turn out like this :)
There’s been bad things but I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason and the bad things have made me more determined to have a good life

I never thought I'd be a single mum financially ruined by a twat of an ex.
I never thought I'd be a mum at all, and that part has been a massive surprise in a good way

happygemini I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I understand some. What would you feel if someone said you didn't have to see the people who abused you nor the ones who betrayed you again ?

Bad- I didn't realise at 18 that I was in a VERY abusive relationship- it all came to an end where he forced me to have sex with him outside and stole £5000 of my savings.

Good- after the above I realised that I was loads better than that scumbag and went on to get a good job and met my husband.
We now have a mortgage DD1 and DD2 is due on Sunday!!

I'm 25 in June and really grateful and proud that in a relatively short time (from 18 to now) my life is really happy and peaceful.

happygemini13

What you had happened to me too....and later I was raped by so-called 'colleague's in my work....I have complex PTSD and have battled all my life to overcome my catastrophic childhood and twenties...I hope you can get some effective psychological intervention....it helps. ...
But prosecuting the bastards as soon as possible would have really helped.

My husband died from skin cancer leaving me with a four year old. All happened within 3 months.

@Bearseatbeets ((hugs))

I never thought I would escape my father and give evidence to put him in prison.

I didn't think I'd make it to 20, let alone 50. On my walk to school on my 10th birthday I realised that if it got so bad I couldn't take it anymore I could kill myself and I can still remember the relief of that realisation. I had the sort of childhood they make misery documentaries about, and now I'm financially stable and happy for the first time in my life. Who'd have thought?!

Having to nurse my Dad through early onset Alzheimers. He was diagnosed at 59 when I was 23.
I did things for him I never imagined I’d have to ever do. I had to watch him forget me, even once spit at me.
He died at 69 and I was 32. I never in my life thought I would have to say goodbye so early and I miss him, his sense of humour and his advice so very much every single day.

Never thought I would be the victim of DV.

Never thought I'd lose the weight

Never thought I'd get married after being so abused and messed up

Never imagined having kids.

Never imagined living in the countryside.

Life is surprising.

for everyone who's been through hard times.

I didn't think I'd get married.

Didn't expect to develop a health condition that has a big impact on my life.

But also, didn't think I'd land my dream job

So grateful.

Getting married at the age of 37 followed by having 2 children at the age of 38 & 40.

Before meeting my husband, I had been going out with someone for over 16 years who didn't want to get married or have children. He also had other lady friends.

I never expected to:
be pregnant at 19
get married once let alone twice
get divorced
be in a DV relationship
be a single parent
own my own home
have one dog let alone 2
have a child with a rare genetic condition and ADHD
have to learn about his condition to educate medics
nearly lose my DS at 8 weeks old

Because of what I've been through and what I have, I am stronger and know how many people in my life love and care for me and my DC. I am a very lucky person.

This thread makes me realise:

1. how low my expectations were as a child/ young person - I didn't expect good things to come to me in the future, perhaps as a result of having parents with mental health issues

1. How lucky I have been in life. I'm married to a great Man, 2 lovely dc, dream job (despite the stress of it)

1. So much of life's success is pure luck - be grateful/ thankful if you are one if the lucky ones ( for now!!)

1. Never take anything for granted.. ....

Common one - cheated husband, I trusted him totally, thought i was the most lucky woman in the world.

I never expected to go through the menopause at 41
I never expected to get a degree at 40
I never expected to have first child at 40
I never expected to loose several family members to cancer within the space of a year
I never expected to have courage
I never realised what a strong 💪 person I am

@historyrocks

Haven't been very lucky in love but have children that are endlessly hilarious and infuriating in equal measures, that I would not change for the world.
Don't have as many friends as I feel somebody my age should, but living obligation free has its own perks.

Getting Alopecia. Losing my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes and just about everywhere else!
The only positive is not having to shave my legs!