AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

[Flyinga]

Good, bad, ugly etc.

Having been married to an evil man who was physically, mentally and emotionlally abusive and who spent every penny he could lay his hands on,( i had to work 27 days a month just to feed my kids),after the divorce i saved every penny i could from my 3 jobs and was adamant i would never share my life again
.I never expected to finally meet and marry the most wonderful man you could hope to meet, he sold his business and we moved hundreds of miles to a very rural area where we spend our days doing what ever takes our fancy, we pack up the camper van and roam the country for weeks on end. We dont have millions in the bank but we both know that as we met later in life we had only a couple of decades to fit everything in. New clothes, the latest "must have" for the house or expensive phones dont matter, dont waste your money on them enjoy life not "things"

• having a child whilst not in a serious relationship/married and younger than planned (but obviously turned out to be one of the best things ever)

• not having as financially secure life as I thought I might have

• being present at a terrorist attack (Manchester)

My son being diagnosed with a serious life long illness at 10 which affected his physical and mental development. As far as we knew he was completely fit and well up to that point. This meant that my whole life was turned on its head and I had to give up the career that I loved. 10 years on and he is doing amazingly well and I think that I am a better person because of what I have been through. I count my blessings all the time, lovely husband, good job and two lovely sons.

Never expected DS1 to be born at 24 weeks and to have complex disabilities as a result. Specialneedsville is a world that I knew little about and never expected to be resident in - but I think it’s made me and DH into nicer, more tolerant people. As a direct result of DS1’s disabilities we now live by the sea and have the most fabulous loving golden Labrador - both of which would not have happened otherwise.

Omg nothing as expected.

Bad- Lost both my parents within a couple of years of each other whilst i was in my early 20s (to cancer)

Good- I married the man I have been with since we were 16&17, and we have a beautiful daughter and little boy on the way. We don’t have tonnes of money but we have a little business together that sort of takes care if it’s self, and we can afford nice holidays to places like Tokyo, every other year.

Bad - my mum dying suddenly when I was 23, my dad committing suicide after cancer diagnosis. Brother dying suddenly this year. Next to no contact with sister who I adored.

Bad to good, 6 years infertility, then my amazing DS was born.

Good, naturally conceived my DD 3 years after DS.

Life is good for now, amazing husband, 2 fabulous DC, lovely home but always wary of anything bad happening round the corner.

Never imagined that getting made redundant then immediately getting breast cancer would turn out to be a great thing - the redundancy package let me take 4 years off work to get through the treatment and then have time off to spend with my daughter who lives abroad, I’m now fitter than I’ve ever been (able to face whatever comes in the future - I have the brac2 gene) I’ve become such a strong and positive person and my relationship with my husband has gone from strength to strength.

Having my son at 19 and somehow winging it to now be a proud parent of a well adjusted 18 year old, happily still with his dad whom I adore and knew from childhood, moved countries, gained post grad quals and have a mortgage and great career that - looking back as a kid- was all so out of reach due to low expectations and a messy childhood. You cannot really plan - you just have to seize opportunities as they arise and when life’s a bit shite remember it will pass and there will be lessons that help you grow into being you

Having a severely autistic and learning disabled child as a single parent. Not good.

I never expected to still be single 5 years after separating from my exdh.
Never expected him to meet someone within a year of said separation.
Never ever expected him to dump his own children in pursuit of above.
Never expected to be in the final months of a 4 year therapeutic counselling diploma.
Never ever even considered self able to study or academic enough to consider looking at starting a degree in social care in September.
Never expected to be a single parent but so grateful for what I have.
Never expected to acknowledge and accept my abusive childhood and find the courage to put me first and go nc with my DM.
Never expected to become as strong as I have and now work with amazing people who have also suffered various types of abuse.
Never expected to give up on love. Just dont feel it will ever happen for me sadly.
Never expected to feel so sad that I will never have another baby.

Oh and never ever expected my two best friends in the world to end our friendship slowly over a period of time at the same time I was dealing with the end of my marriage. Still don't know why to this day.

My parents dying when I was 18. Best friend dying of cancer in our 30s. Having a child with autism. My life is pretty damn good on the surface and there are many many people far worse off than me I know. But there's always something we hate in all our lives I think, it's never the fairy tale eer imaging as children.

Infertility. You grow up with this vision of being a mother and spend all your teenage years being told how not to get pregnant! So when it didn't happen for me, it came as a bit of a shock.

SunshineCake it would be amazing to never see my abusers again but I don't see it happening without me cutting out people that I love.

nyu82 (think I got it right) so sorry to hear that happened, honestly its shocked me to see so many posts about DV, rape and abuse. I knew there was a lot of it happening but its so much more horrifying seeing it written down by those who have survived it. I have never done any counselling or therapy, perhaps worth looking into. I hope you are in a good place

Never thought I'd be brave enough to be in a same sex relationship

Never thought I'd have a severely disabled child who may or may not die at any moment

Good - married a man, who for some unfathomable reason, seems to worship the ground I walk on. I absolutely genuinely cannot work out why. And we had a beautiful DS together. I never imagined anyone would want to marry and procreate with me! 10 yrs in and he still hasn't left me!

Bad - DV relationship, fell pregnant to him accidentally (contraception failure). DA dept of the police were extremely unsympathetic and unhelpful. The officer assigned to my case was a woman and her only advice was to nastily spit at me "have an abortion!" And I did.
Never ever thought I'd find myself in that situation. Took me 5 yrs just to mentally heal enough to look at another man again.

I never thought that I would have a child with severe autism and a learning disability. It is taught me a lot about how ignorant and unkind a lot of people are.

Never thought I’d have the divorce from hell though that wasn’t the worst thing I’ve endured
On a positive note
I never thought I’d end up so well off or at one point have two holiday homes on different continents at once

Or marry the loveliest man when I was 63
Or have the most fabulous children and grandchildren
All worth far more to me than all the riches

Oh and I’d end up such a gobby bezom 😂

Same here omione
We live fairly simply... not frugally ... I don’t have a frugal bone in my body... but not lavishly or extravagantly

We don’t have a motor home but a static caravan we head to every week and just love the peace and quiet

Nothing to do with relationships and family, I always sort of expected that. My dream of horses, I never dreamed that I'd be able to have my horses, and to have exactly the horses I had dreamed of since I was a little girl.

Never thought I'd have kids as I have pcos. Never thought I would run my own business (it's a small one but good fun). Never thought I would have straight teeth.

Bad - being diagnosed with a serious illness in 2009 and I too thought I’d be married forever, but divorced in 2014 after 18 years together...

Good - I am stronger than I ever realised, I have a wonderful daughter, an amazing OH, a beautiful home, am happy in my job and so chuffed I ran a marathon in my 40th year on this planet!

A bigger income, a newer car, more frequent holidays etc would be desirable, but tbh I am glad to be alive and able to do all that I do :-)

Hi! I’m new, hope it’s okay to jump on this thread. I think it’s pretty incredible how resilient people are.

Bad: my dad’s mental and physical health deteriorating so badly and so quickly - I never thought I’d lose a parent in my 20s.

Good: I wasn’t popular at school and had very low self esteem, so I never thought I’d end up with a wide circle of lovely friends and a DH who I love very much. I’ve been very lucky.