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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this colleague is a knob and to tell her to wind her neck in

129 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 17/04/2019 21:31

I work in a small team so maybe she’s getting on my tits cause there’s nowhere to deflect it to but....

I’m a vegan, I’m not a preachy one, my DP eats meat my lodger eats meat my sister eats meat. I don’t care, I’ll get proper milk in when I’ve got people round, I just choose not to eat it. and it went unnoticed at work until someone arranged a work meal and I had to mention it.
My.fucking.god. You’d think I’d mentioned I only eat live puppies to one woman. She doesn’t like me much anyway but this has weirdly been something for her to sink her claws in about. Everything I do is fussy/something she whinges about, asking for a black coffee on the brew round gets an eye roll, having an apple as a snack “oh that would never fill me,” offered her a slice of toast from the bread I brought in “oh no I bet vegan bread is disgusting” couldn’t be bothered with the argument that most bread is vegan so left it.
Today she had a massive go at me after I perfectly politely turned down a chocolate biscuit she offered me, going on about how I’m being pathetic, I should just eat it it’s not like cows die to make milk. Decided to not mention the problems of the dairy industry and just politely say “no thank you” again.

She also has recently taking to deciding everything I eat is SO unhealthy and having a go about me about everything because I need chicken...
WIBU to tell her I’m not taking diet advice from someone who eats pot noodle and share size bags of crisps for lunch and to wind her fucking neck in?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 17/04/2019 22:37

Then if she’s stuffing biscuits down her neck like a waterfowl

Is this a thing, @justilou1?? It's just I've never seen a waterfowl eating biscuits! Dying at the visual! 🤣

Heyha · 17/04/2019 22:38

If she's baffled by the idea that most bread is vegan I'd have loads of fun eating other 'unexpectedly' vegan foods and watch her tiny mind explode.

I'm no vegan (smallholder so quite the opposite) but I have a vegan student who has educated me about which biscuits are suitable, I reckon you could easily get a fortnight's entertainment that way!

Knittedfairies · 17/04/2019 22:41

I've had some success shutting people down by saying 'Can I just stop you there?' They usually stop talking to see what I am going to add to the conversation. Drives 'em nuts if you don't speak!

LarryGreysonsDoor · 17/04/2019 22:44

I’m veggie and some people seem to take it as some kind of personal affront.
Yes some vegans and vegetarians can be preachy, but so can meat eaters.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/04/2019 22:54

"having an apple as a snack “oh that would never fill me,”

"That's because your tummy is bigger than mine"

She's a twat - don't pull any punches.

sauvignonblancplz · 17/04/2019 23:04

I've had some success shutting people down by saying 'Can I just stop you there?' They usually stop talking to see what I am going to add to the conversation. Drives 'em nuts if you don't speak!

Grin made me lol

Bahhhhhumbug · 17/04/2019 23:13

I used to work with a vegan who would peer into my packed lunch and say 'What you got today then Bahhh, more dead animals?' You get knobheads in any dietary group.

Dontbesogross · 17/04/2019 23:22

You should start winding her up more! Push your views on her, every time she’s around you make sure you tell her your opinions!
‘Oh, I’m a vegan so I think ...xxx’
She’ll soon stay away from you! 🙈

keepforgettingmyusername · 17/04/2019 23:26

I wouldn't reply with passive aggressive comments or head tilts or tinkly laughs. I would just say, can you please stop commenting on my diet please as it's making me uncomfortable. If she keeps doing it then take it to your manager.

Lalliella · 18/04/2019 00:07

*lablablab is a genius and you must absolutely do everything s/he says. Also, every time she makes a rude comment pull out a notebook and make very visible notes in it.

AngelsOnHigh · 18/04/2019 00:23

Yep, nothing to do with you being vegan. She's just horrible.

I don't eat red meat. The reason being, I just don't like it. People say, Oh are you vegetarian or vegan. Umm, no, I just don't eat red meat.

Please educate yourself on what vegetarian and vegan means.

Raspberrytruffle · 18/04/2019 00:29

Definitely yanbu, tell her to piss off! What a dick. She sounds jealous off you. Just say next time she bangs on about your eating choices that you don't push on her not to eat meat so she needs to keep her big beak well out.

Bookworm4 · 18/04/2019 00:33

Sorry don't know how the link came up so long , yikes

Sashkin · 18/04/2019 00:42

Do a Regina George “why are you so obsessed with me?”

Because she actually is. Probably jealousy, but it’s fucking weird either way.

PlasmaRain · 18/04/2019 00:48

I love the “can I just stop you there?” line Knittedfairies - hope it’s ok for me to make free with it to my own office busybody who is equally as annoying as OP’s.

MitziK · 18/04/2019 01:20

Switch your mobile to the option that withholds the number and every time she takes a mouthful of food, ring her direct line. Whenever she looks like she's about to get up to go to the loo, ring her direct line. Every time she begins commenting on food choices...well, you get the idea.

justilou1 · 18/04/2019 02:29

You could also ponder out loud while in a group setting....”I wonder if this constant harassment about my veganism is an HR issue, like it would be if it was a religious choice....?” See if she STF’s up.

PregnantSea · 18/04/2019 05:32

Sounds like she's obsessed with you. It's a difficult position for you to be in. I would just stop engaging with her, and if she continually berates you about stuff ask her to leave you alone.

CryptoFascist · 18/04/2019 05:50

Sadly that cake has egg in it. Definitely go down the route of calling her out on it. Maybe even pre-empt comments. Every time you get a snack or make a drink, "black coffee please, what do you think about that Sue? Oh a chocolate hobnob, no thanks Sue. Now please go ahead and make a comment about me being vegan, we're all dying to see what you've come up with!"

Humpy84 · 18/04/2019 06:02

I knew as soon as I read this post that you had a killer body. You’re s vegan that runs which confirms this. The woman is as jealous as hell and you remind her, just by breathing, that she is s chubby bunny. I know this as I am a chubby bunny too, but would admire and take inspiration from you instead. Talk about how far you ran and ask if she exercises, it will drive her crazy.

Cherrysherbet · 18/04/2019 06:16

She is a complete knob, and needs to be told.

Downunderduchess · 18/04/2019 06:25

I'm vegan and no one hassles me at all, the occasional joke is all. She sounds like a fuckwit. And actually cows (calves) do die so we may have their mothers milk. Most babies are wrenched from their mother & slaughtered for veal & other bits & pieces. Fact. Perhaps you should enlighten her. Again, she sounds like an ignorant fuck.

Sweetpea55 · 18/04/2019 06:30

What a bullying bitch.. Get her told

JenniferJareau · 18/04/2019 06:35

Sounds to me like she is jealous as you are fit and slim and can control what you eat.

lablablab has some great comebacks, I think you need to start using them.