Bathing your kid twice a day .... is it me? Am I an evil step mother.

[lickencivers]

I’ve gained two lovely step children. One of which suffers from pretty horrific eczema. Especially on hands (all cracked open at the knuckles etc). Whilst I have dry skin myself I have zero experience of this sort of stuff with my own DC.

DP and their mum seem to be using a lot of steroid based cream and epiderm but it doesn’t do a thing to ease him.

I’ve suggested alternative things (like putting porridge oats in a sock in the bath) as helped the itching when Mine had chicken pox etc

However, they bath their kids normally twice a day. If not twice then definitely religiously every night. Without fail. Gina Ford babies —I didn’t do routine either— any way. Any help or advice? Because I’m getting ulcers biting my tongue.

That bit where the kid is convinced they're dirty if they don't get two baths a day...that's a bit scary. One hopes the mum's MH issues aren't being played out onto the kids.

I'm ignoring the arguments - just posting to say that this stuff, MooGoo
carlyfindlay.com.au/2016/05/12/ichthyosis-awareness-using-moo-goo-cream-to-de-scale-my-scalp/
is supposed to be great for eczema

Mine had eczema as a baby and it was advised to bath minimally and with just water.

They outgrew it after age 4. I still bath them once a week and they are never ever poorly.

Tell them to speak to the doctor. Mine had eczema and the doctor told to reduce bathing only " top and tail wash" daily and avoid soap and too hot water. They got better quite quickly following that advice.

My youngest son has eczema and he bathes max twice a week to stop his skin drying out, twice daily is excessive! As long as they wash their face, hands and nether regions daily then there’s no need for that amount of bathing, it dries skin out.

I have psoriasis and 100% if I were to bath twice a day my skin would be horrifically dry and scaly. Once a day is enough and make sure they are always moisturised! Bit of sun on the eczema clears it up too!

I have also heard from a friend who's baby has eczema that dream cream from LUSH is meant to be amazing and has cleared her little ones skin up....worth a try

DD suffered a tiny bit with eczema as a baby got worse when l bathed her too much so cut it down to twice a week and hey presto, it went away! She has 3 baths or 2 baths and one shower a week now and no problems with dry skin. Poor kids why would their mum not realise it is too much for them?

Keep biting. It's not your business. You have zero experience, so let them get on with parenting their own child.

There you go OP. Typical Mumsnet reply. As a step-parent you are being completely outrageous for showing concern for the poor child. Who on earth do you think you are, you interfering bitch? 🙄. On the other hand, if you couldn’t care less you’d be a heartless bitch.

All those posters saying daily bathing is ridiculous and twice daily completely insane....why then was this recommended by dermatologists at Great Ormond St (twice daily if possible) and my ds's paediatrician (daily baths)?

I wonder if the dirty thing has been because the mum has emphasised that the baths are because the skin has to stay clean so it doesn't get infected, but has been interpreted by the child as being dirty.

Despite the fact I don't think the mum is necessarily wrong to be doing the twice daily baths (as it is often medical advice) - it does sound it needs to be handled better if the childten get upset by it. When my god daughter was on the strictest regime of skin care the family were offered play therapy to support the child. I also agree that Fucibet use should be monitored - with dd2 they reviewed the creams she was using every 3 months, to monitor effectiveness.

All those posters saying daily bathing is ridiculous and twice daily completely insane

And all those eczema and psoriasis sufferers too eh, what to they know?

In my experience (thanks, psoriasis!), dermatologist appointments are gold dust and GPs don't tend to interfere with a plan in place - so whatever the derm has said, goes. Of course, this is a problem if you have to go through the whole GP referral system to get a follow-up with the derm. These things can go on for years and the patient is left suffering.

Friends of ours took their kid, whose face was literally bleeding with all the eczema and had been fobbed off with steroid creams and shrugs by UK GPs, to a different country where the poor thing was promptly admitted to hospital and is now doing a lot better, thank goodness.

Dermatology in this country is sometimes, if not often, a complete joke in my experience. I think you are right to be concerned, right to try other things, and right to get second or third medical opinions. Step or birth parents matters very little when a child is suffering. YANBU.

I've never heard of bathing twice a day. How about suggesting the one with eczema hop briefly in the tub for a quick swish over his/her bits with a flannel (by dad) and keep her poor hands out of the water completely. Dad can also wash her face with water on a flannel and call it job done.

I washed my sensitive-skinned son with aqueous cream for years. It helped him a lot. Just squeeze it onto a flannel and then wet the flannel.

My youngest suffered terribly when he was little, blood pouring from his face with scratching etc etc. I stopped the baths And we did face and bits washing and quick shower if really necessary. I think he grew out of it to be honest but he has been clear for years. But then I’ve never done the daily bathing for my kids. Never had the energy to be honest.

Bathing too often would remove any natural moisture from the skin x

I'd imagine if they were bathing them like this from a very young age could have potentially let to the condition?

Do you think there is any possibility of the mum suffering from OCD. DH’s niece and nephew had terrible eczema on their hands as children. After I realised that it was being caused by excessive hand washing...their father is obsessed with cleanliness and would not, for example, allow them to visit zoos due to the germs they may pick up!

You are completely right. It is undoubtedly making it worse. Tell him to quit being a puss and tell the other mum she's wrong. It's what's best for the kids. She's putting them in more pain than they need to be.

Another thing is a good idea to go slow with the steroid cream. It thins the skin and kind of makes the person using dependent on it. So my kids were never well unless they are using the cream.That was my experience anyway. It's difficult position for you but maybe asked their dad to read this or show him some medical journal. My kids only got better when I reduced bathing to couple of times a week and they were only short baths with no bubbles and cleaned their skin with a cream the doctor prescribed. Used olive oil to moisturise their skin once they got better. You have to be careful because they also can get fungal infection on the eczema sores ( is all coming back to me) And only used non bio for their laundry. Every now and then they get a outbreak now but I just tell them to moisturise and it goes away. They haven't used steroid cream in ages. I phased out the steroid cream use slowly while doing all the above.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut
All those posters saying daily bathing is ridiculous and twice daily completely insane
And all those eczema and psoriasis sufferers too eh, what to they know?

I know that people have different experiences, and for some people daily bathing makes eczema worse, in the same way different products help different people. I'm not dismissing the opinions of people with eczema or psoriasis (as I said earlier, I have eczema myself!!) I was just saying that the bathing daily (or twice daily) hadn't just been plucked out of the air, it is often what medical professionals advise, and obviously does help for some people.

Weirdly some people have had success with Matey in the bath (it's hypoallergenic) and Lush Dream cream is very good for eczema. 2 baths a day is probably far too much for skin that is already very dry. Might be worth looking at restricting processed foods and dairy to see if that makes a difference.

A bath daily seem to me to be excessive, probably just quick showers once a day using moisturising agent would suffice and if need be, a bath like on Saturdays might just do

So after long chat we have spent day regularly slathering child’s farm on his hands. All fine. Dc even said they felt less tight. Then after dinner he runs their bath and they’re in it now. Fuck sake.

My DD had really bad eczema on her hands, Burts Bees handcream for dry skin cured it overnight! We couldn’t believe how fast and well it worked and that’s after years of steroids

Unless they are pre teen when they need a daily shower or bath or they are swimming in sea or pool or getting covered in mud, then 2 baths per day is ridiculous.
It will certainly aggrevate the eczema.
A bath every other day with hands and face wash in between is enough.
Don't feel that you have to do everything that their mother suggests. You are not their hired help, you are now their stepmother and along with the support of their father, you are entitled to bring your ideas on how to raise the children to the mix. If mum doesn't like it, then tough.

I wondered that @BunsyGirl