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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not going on date if he won't pick me up?

356 replies

simpleskmonwent · 17/04/2019 12:40

It's my 3rd date with this guy.
He suggested on Saturday to go for a drive into the country and go for lunch and look around this village.
I thought that sounded great.
I live 25 min drive from him or 50 min train journey to his local city.
He said can you meet me at (his local train station) so that's a extra train and another 20 mins.
I said can we not meet in your city centre train station (as only 1 train for me) he said he couldn't park easy there.
So I have to get two trains and a 1hr 10 min journey to then go on a drive.
It's just putting me off.
Aibu here if I didn't go.
Then after a hours drive in the country he will drop me off at the train station for a 1hr journey and he drives 5 mins home.

OP posts:
Thurmanmurman · 17/04/2019 16:41

Nope. I would not be getting on any train and would expect him to pick me up from home. If he can’t be arsed to do this in the early stages of a relationship, when presumably he’s trying to impress you, then what will he be like in the future?

TheFastandCurious · 17/04/2019 16:46

You barely know someone by the third date so I don’t think it’s unusual not to bloody sleep with them!

Anyway, from my experience a man who is really interested will invest a lot of time and effort to get to know you and impress you. I would never waste my time on someone who puts such little effort in. There are plenty more men out there willing to show you you’re worth effort.

MadameDD · 17/04/2019 16:48

Ditch him OP - sounds like he CBA to make the effort and wants you to shell out for the train ticket too.

Easter Saturday the trains may be a nightmare and you compromised by suggesting to meet in his city centre.

But on your side - it sounds as if you don't fancy him much anyway so maybe he can sense this and that's why he's not making the effort, maybe the 'no sex by 3rd date' rule is irking him too. FWIW, when I was young we had a general rule amongst friends (women) to sleep with someone by the third week - and if this didn't happen we more often than not broke it up or realised we weren't keen on them!

mummyhaschangedhername · 17/04/2019 16:49

Honestly it would be a no from me. He seems unwilling to compromise and expects you to out forth all the effort to get there, each time by the sounds of it. Just move on.

TowerRavenSeven · 17/04/2019 16:51

A big nope from me. At this point he should be squiring you around if he was really interested.

SnapesGreasyHair · 17/04/2019 16:54

OP, from what you're saying you don't seem that "in" to him anyway so tell him no thanks.

It does seem to be a lot of time and expense for lunch... oh ...and a drive. I'd also have assumed he'd have picked you up as he suggested the activity of going for a drive.... which meant he was already in the car.

keepingbees · 17/04/2019 16:56

If he drove before and won't this time it sounds like he's losing interest and it's all too much effort for him to be honest. You don't sound bothered about him either. It doesn't seem worth the effort on either side I'd just cut my losses.

KC225 · 17/04/2019 17:07

I think you offering to meet him at the main train station was fair enough but his insistance of you taking another train is cheeky. He is not making enough effort and you don't seem that into him.

Let us know what he says.

happinessischocolate · 17/04/2019 17:16

Is he worth £36 for an awkwardly quiet drive in the country because you’re secretly reeling you had to pay £36 just to look at his lazy face at a different location?

😂 @ lazy face

Bin him OP, if youre going for a drive anyway he can bloody pick you up as part of that drive. Or he can fuck off.

BrilliantYou · 17/04/2019 17:27

Hmmm date 3 and he can't be bothered Hmm

I would suggest either he drives to you then go for a drive/lunch close to where you live then he can drop you off and drive home. Offer to pay towards fuel? Did you say it was 25 mins drive from him to you?

Or, meet him in his city where you can get train to and have lunch there?

Or scrap the drive all together Confused

TooBusyHavingFun · 17/04/2019 17:28

Well he's not bothered about trying to impress you....

Thank U Next....

NewPapaGuinea · 17/04/2019 17:33

He suggested the date. Honestly at this early stage where you go is pretty irrelevant. He should just pick you up and go for said drive wherever. If he’d rather go to the original place then great, that just becomes part of the drive, as does the drop off home.

woollyheart · 17/04/2019 17:34

He suggested something convenient for him, and doesn't really care if it is inconvenient for you.

Doesn't look promising!

Louiselouie0890 · 17/04/2019 17:36

He doesnt wanna pick you up, you dont want the extra travelling I'd give up now

Itsnotme123 · 17/04/2019 18:03

He sounds a right stallion.. Not.

Before you agree, Charge him the £40 for train fair. Then charge him some more for the inconvenience. . When and if he pays, on the day, tell him the train is cancelled, no more trains running that day, shame, bye bye and block him.

Love This sort, I just love a game with types like this haahaa

mrssoap · 17/04/2019 19:13

Nah I wouldn't bother.

Original poster
simpleskmonwent · 17/04/2019 19:19

Well I'm deffo not going now.
Replacing tracks Easter weekend between two stations.
So my journey would be
Train
Replacement bus
Then another train
Na

OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 17/04/2019 19:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

GreatWesternValkyrie · 17/04/2019 19:34

Doesn’t sound like either of you are mad keen but if he’s not even willing to meet you halfway, why bother.

Have to say I’d be pretty underwhelmed by. 2.5 hour round trip just to go to a country pub for an hour and ‘look round a village’, unless the village is Lilliput and you’ll be made their Queen whilst you’re there?!

Jamiefraserskilt · 17/04/2019 20:20

If he was keen he would pick you up.
Bin him and move on.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/04/2019 20:42

What are you going to do about him op!

Sagradafamiliar · 17/04/2019 21:08

He knows it's a faff and he's banking on you suggesting just going to his instead. He's a chancer.

gingerbeers · 17/04/2019 21:12

Don't put yourself out he certainly isn't. You can do MUCH better.

winepls · 17/04/2019 21:15

Right decision @simpleskmonwent

Imagine what it'll be like in 5 years if this is him now!

Yesicancancan · 17/04/2019 21:24

Meeting Half way is fair. He is being lazy. Bin him

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