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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not going on date if he won't pick me up?

356 replies

simpleskmonwent · 17/04/2019 12:40

It's my 3rd date with this guy.
He suggested on Saturday to go for a drive into the country and go for lunch and look around this village.
I thought that sounded great.
I live 25 min drive from him or 50 min train journey to his local city.
He said can you meet me at (his local train station) so that's a extra train and another 20 mins.
I said can we not meet in your city centre train station (as only 1 train for me) he said he couldn't park easy there.
So I have to get two trains and a 1hr 10 min journey to then go on a drive.
It's just putting me off.
Aibu here if I didn't go.
Then after a hours drive in the country he will drop me off at the train station for a 1hr journey and he drives 5 mins home.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2019 11:06

Your only in the 3rd date, just cut and run, you owe him nothing. He CBA, now, he never will. Don't be a mug!

Belenus · 18/04/2019 11:12

at first he suggested the megabus???? I'm assuming that's like the national express

Back in the 1990s it was a local bus company that operated around Manchester. I don't associate it with the word "Express" that's for sure. It may have changed in the last 20 years but it was grim back then

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2019 11:12

Value yourself, you deserve better.

MRex · 18/04/2019 11:23

"No, you absolutely should not come to my house. I've lost interest in you because being such hard work this early on doesn't bode well. Goodbye."

What a bell-end.

Justmuddlingalong · 18/04/2019 11:36

If he has to?
Tell him he doesn't have to do anything as you're cancelling Saturday's and all future dates. He sounds like an arse.

Sagradafamiliar · 18/04/2019 11:43

I'd take pleasure in giving this dweeb the brush-off.

Hutchismo · 18/04/2019 11:46

Take the National Express, when your life's in a mess...

Bin him off!

gilchrist168 · 18/04/2019 11:47

Blimey. The Megabus. If he has to.
Get some dignity gal and ditch the loser.

GarthFunkel · 18/04/2019 11:48

Now he's sounding like the car salesman who said to me "I don't have to sell you the car." Well I didn't have to buy it either Grin "If I have to" no wonder he's single again Grin

Tink88 · 18/04/2019 11:52

If I have to?

Block

Xenia · 18/04/2019 11:54

I am not sure I would date someone who doesn't drive / have a car so perhaps that was his mistake in the first place. It is not going to work easily for either - he may not want to have an extra 50 minute drive to pick you up. The distance is always going to be a problem unless you learn to drive and get a car I suppose.

Lweji · 18/04/2019 11:59

The issue isn't whether the OP has a car or drives.
If she drove, I bet he'd expect her to drive to his anyway, then he'd insist on doing his own driving wherever he wanted.
The OP was happy to take one train to his nearest town, and that's fair enough, IMO.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2019 12:02

I bet that if op did drive and have a car, she would be doing all the driving in the relationship, despite him driving and having his own car. He is showing her this early, who he is, listen op! She compromised and offered to meet him in the middle, but still he was too lazy, no thank you! Big red flag op!

Belenus · 18/04/2019 12:41

The distance is always going to be a problem unless you learn to drive and get a car I suppose.

The OP has already said I do drive I just don't have a car at the minute since my old one failed it's mot. Will be getting one soon. So this would only ever be a temporary problem anyway. The bigger issue is that very early on in the relationship he just can't be bothered.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 18/04/2019 14:10

Have you told him to sling his hook? Megabus. Haahaa.

Mapril · 18/04/2019 14:12

Megabus.

And they say romance is dead.

Branleuse · 18/04/2019 14:16

you can do way better than this one

BadPennyNoBiscuit · 18/04/2019 14:18

Is this some new kind of extreme negging?

Margot33 · 18/04/2019 14:20

A, "megabus"?! Or, " if he has to he 'll get you"?! Wow... im sorry but i think you should forget him and find someone who's more keen. Otherwise he'll think that you 'owe' him.

Purplejay · 18/04/2019 14:30

I wouldn’t go. I would pick someone up in this scenario without reluctance and expect the same from them. The time to get the train would be for a meet up in the city perhaps. If by the 3rd date he is saying ‘if i’ve got to’, it does not bode well!

Youmatter · 18/04/2019 14:34

I don’t even know what the megabus is but I do not like the name.

It’s like he’s pushing you into making all this effort like he wants to see if you’ll do it.

What a little shit. The megabus. It’s a megafuckoff from me.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 18/04/2019 14:42

*Youmatter's mega fuck off sums things up rather nicely methinks.

SandAndSea · 18/04/2019 15:08

The more I think about this the worse it gets. Surely, if a man fancies a drive, that includes the drive to pick you up?! I can't think of anything less romantic than being expected to get the rail replacement service or megabus!

These are not the actions of a caring and considerate future life partner.

HairycakeLinehan · 18/04/2019 15:34

You sound clued in OP, I hope there’s women reading this thread who will take something from it

NWQM · 18/04/2019 15:42

Honestly if you mentioning that there wasn't a train replacement service wasn't even for him to decide to the do the decent thing then you need to decline.

Even if you thought that he was amazing - and you don't - then this should put you off.

What a daft suggestion....can you get 2 trains so we can go for a ride in the country....honestly, you can do sooooo much better.

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