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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
Blobby10 · 17/04/2019 09:13

I got my 2 eldest (boys) double beds when they grew over 6ft 4 tall and I felt sorry for them in a single! Then of course, my daughter had to have a double bed too.................... Its a problem now that I'm on my own I need a house with big enough bedrooms to take these double beds

hopelessatthinkingupusernames · 17/04/2019 09:15

I’m 30 and none of my friends had a double bed when we were teenagers. I had no idea this was a thing now!

ifoundthebread · 17/04/2019 09:18

My 3 year old dd has a double bed, ill probably get one for Ds when he outgrow his toddler bed.

Jent13c · 17/04/2019 09:19

We only have 2 bedrooms and my boy had been in a small double since 11 months old. If you dont have a spare/guest room and the childs room is big enough to accommodate it makes sense to get a double and then guests can stay there. We are currently expats in a large 2 bed and hes in a superking at 2 years old.

Sexnotgender · 17/04/2019 09:20

My 15 year old DD has a double but only because we moved house. Otherwise she’d have kept her single.

Yellowpolkadot · 17/04/2019 09:26

Still have a single bed at my parents, moved out (again) aged 25, didn’t do me any harm!

Whodafeck · 17/04/2019 09:27

Mine have doubles because their rooms fit doubles.

We have people to stay a lot and they are expected to room swap to accommodate guests when this happens (and they do without complaint).

The spare room is the small room and it has a single bed in it

Brilliantidiot · 17/04/2019 09:28

My 16 yo DD has had a double since 14, but only because we needed everything and my sister was replacing hers, until it actually arrived she slept on a z bed and I slept on a single mattress on the floor. If I'd had to buy one outright at that time she'd have had a single. I had a double from mid teens, but again only because my grandparents were moving into seperate beds and didn't have room for both.

multivac · 17/04/2019 09:30

Our 14-year-olds have to share a room, and are in singles, because that is the only option (they were in bunk beds up until last year!)

I think they'd love doubles, though. They definitely get bed-envy over their parents' superking...

Bowerbird5 · 17/04/2019 09:31

My kids never had one. We have just told DD we will get one for her room. She is 27! She is home for a while between travelling and her and her partner are living in separate houses just now. She has never asked but if she sorts the room out she can have the bed and hers will go to her brothers house so his best friend’s little lad can have a sleep over in the summer holidays.😁

They will survive. My six footer did until 22. We didn’t have room as his two siblings were still here.
Could they get part time jobs to contribute? Then maybe sell their beds. It isn’t just the bed though is it as it is sheets, duvet, more pillows. Get them to sit down and work out all the cost then suggest a time frame and a job. If they want it they will contribute.

Blooby I can understand your choice for 6’4”+ . If they have moved out it isn’t your problem it is theirs. You could sell them to the OP two problems solved😁

pointythings · 17/04/2019 09:31

Mine have had doubles for the past 5 years - their beds needed replacing, we had the money and the space so we went for doubles.

If the beds don't need replacing and you can't afford the change, keep things as they are. However, as PP have pointed out you can get double bed frames very cheaply off Gumtree/EBay.

plominoagain · 17/04/2019 09:33

Mine have doubles too - all bought virtually brand new ( spare room type use ) from our local auction house , who sell them for a pittance because they’re just not popular . The last two I got were immaculate , unused , and 25 quid each , plus a tenner delivery . Bargain . We’re very fortunate in that our house has very large bedrooms , so I don’t see the point in confining them to a single bed . Besides , by the time the cat , or the dogs jump on , there’s not a huge amount of space anyway ..

JenniferJareau · 17/04/2019 09:36

I never had a double bed as a teen but that was a long time ago, maybe times have changed.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 17/04/2019 09:37

I've also noticed that this seems to be more and more of a 'thing'. Neither I nor any of my friends had a double bed as teenagers.

I've never seen a university hall that offers double beds, so a lot of these teens are going to have to get used to spreading out a little less at some point!

longwayoff · 17/04/2019 09:38

My 14 year old son was suddenly 6'3". Single bed was not an option. If you have young teenage boys have an eye to the future.

PetrichorRain · 17/04/2019 09:39

I didn't get a double til I moved out (actually only had a single at uni too, come to think of it). DH and I share a double and there's plenty of room, but then we like to spoon! When we're in hotels with a king or super king, we don't actually like it as much because there's too much space between us.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 17/04/2019 09:40

I went to a university where everyone lived in for all three years, and every single room had only a single bed. The 6' + boys probably weren't terribly comfortable (and me and my boyfriend, who shared a single bed every single night for some mad reason/young love, definitely weren't), but it certainly was 'an option'.

HoppingPavlova · 17/04/2019 09:40

Well, we got one of our a queen. A teenager over 6’ in a single bed either has to sleep scrunched up or have their feet dangle over. So our options were get them a king single with the added length or a queen. A double was out as the length was the same as a single so that wouldn’t solve the problem.

We had the room for a queen so got that as there seems to be more choice for sheets, doona’s etc in queen size than king single. If we didn’t have the room we would have gone king single to give them the additional length.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/04/2019 09:42

I had a single until I was about 17 by which point my boyfriend was allowed to stay over, my parents weren't in a position to pay for a new bed that didn't need replacing so I bought my own. I left it there when I was at uni and kept using it when I came home, but took it when I properly moved out, I did offer to leave it, but my parents were in a much better financial position by then and actually gave me all of the other furniture from that room to start off with in my flat and redecorated my old room as a guest room. I think a small double is a good compromise if you can afford it. If not tough.

Chasingsquirrels · 17/04/2019 09:43

Ds1 had one from 10, when my late-DH moved in with us and brought his newish kingsize with him and ds1 asked if he could have my old double. I brought it in the January sales in 1995 and he is still using it now at 16.
Ds2 is 13 and has bunks, which late-DH also brought with him but we got new mattresses as they didn't have any. He still seems happy with his bunk den.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/04/2019 09:43

Nope, was never even considered. We had bunk beds until the fighting got too much and then singles in separate bedrooms.

My Mum still makes me sleep in a single bed when I stay at hers. I'm 44!

Kokeshi123 · 17/04/2019 09:45

It's not really about what you think tbf... it's about what they want as it's their bedroom!

??? Who do you think is paying for the bed? I bet it's not the kid themselves.

It's a nice to have if you can afford it and have room--it's also fine not to give them double beds if you cannot afford the double bed or do not have enough space. It's not a rite of passage. MN can be such a middle class bubble sometimes.

Jenniferyellowcat · 17/04/2019 09:45

My friend had a double bed when we were teens and it was nice for sleepovers. Can imagine nice to laze about on watch stuff oniPads too. I have considered it for my younger kids but DH thinks unnecessary. He is right, they aren’t necessary though and I never had one!

KurriKurri · 17/04/2019 09:46

Mine never had doubles, I didn't have a double (I had a second hand single that 'someone had died in Grin) my 6'2" XH had a single bed all the time he lived with his parents.

It's just a new thing, people can manage perfectly well in singles, even tall people. If you can't afford it you can't (or even if you can but would prefer to spend your money on something else) It's an unnecessary indulgence - so I'd say if they want one they save for one themselves. usually things become a bit less 'essential' when they are the ones footing the bill.

If they go away to university/ college etc when they are older, they'll most likley have singles in their uni accomodation - it isn't odd or unusual for a single person to sleep in a single bed.

LetsDoThisAgain · 17/04/2019 09:49

I had a California king size bed as a teenager over 20 years ago.

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