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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
starsparkle08 · 18/04/2019 17:39

My son is 7 and has a double bed . Has had it since he was 4 . He has autism and learning difficulties and sleep has always been very difficult and still is so it was in case I needed to settle him etc.

Perhaps make them wait for birthday or Christmas to change the bed or ask they contribute in some way to the new bed?

KickAssAngel · 18/04/2019 17:43

Never had a double bed as a teen and my bed at college was 2'6" wide, 5'6" long.

I have no plans to buy one for DD, who is nearly 16.

Tweedypie · 18/04/2019 17:45

My kids have doubles, and have done since they were 9 or 10 simply because we have family far and wide and both double as guest rooms when guests come over, its much more practical for us and that's why when they grew out of the bunk bed / cabin bed phase we replaced them, actually my son has a king as it was on offer and had lots of storage underneath for his nerf, lego & sports stuff.
It is more comfy also for my son who is 6ft and still growing, its practical for us, but each to their own.

ToftyAC · 18/04/2019 17:45

It’s not unusual for kids/young teens to have doubles. But neither are you BU if you don’t have the budget.

Missingstreetlife · 18/04/2019 17:47

No , still using single bed at my mums, partner uses my sisters. She does same when she visits. Our kids/grandkids will be the same, no room for double. You can replace if needed, or as a favour/gift. Not a necessity, new bedding too!

Seejay220 · 18/04/2019 17:48

Both my sister and I had single beds until we left home to go to uni at 18. Even then I didn’t have a double until I moved into a shared house in the second year as all the student halls had singles. It didn’t really occur to me to ask for a double when I was at home as I was the only one sleeping in it and it would have taken up most of my room! Also my parents wouldn’t have spent the money on it. At the end of the day it’s your house and money. If they need one that much they should pay for it imo, ‘because my friends all have one’ isn’t really a good enough reason I don’t think x

ferrier · 18/04/2019 17:48

None of mine had or have doubles. Some of them have pull out beds under their single bed so in theory it can be turned into a double, but regardless of bfs or gfs they don't use them and seem to manage just fine in a single .... as did I at a similar age with bfs... just get to snuggle a bit more Grin

BlueSkyBurningBright · 18/04/2019 17:51

My DS got a kingsize when we moved house, he was 12, and were moving in as a blended family, so we had two kingsize beds. I thought it made more sense for him to get rid of his single and he could have one of the kingsize

DD got a double when it became apparent that her cabin bed was too small for her. I thought a double would make sleepovers easier and she loves the space. I bought a cheap one and a year or so later bought a more expensive mattress.

DSS, got a new bed when his cabin got too small, he chose a single and did not mention a double at all. He is the only one in the house with a single bed.

Missingstreetlife · 18/04/2019 17:51

Bunks better for sleepovers

HippyMama90 · 18/04/2019 17:54

Not being unreasonable at all!, you've said no and you don't have the budget for it.

Me and DH shared a single bed when we were teens and living in one room. when they move out they can buy their own, they'll survive until then in a single bed.

Nearly47 · 18/04/2019 17:55

YANBU, It's really wasteful and I definitely wouldn't buy just because his friends have either... Ikea single beds are quite wide and long for teens.

Arkenfield3001 · 18/04/2019 17:56

I had a single bed as a teenager as it part of a built in bedroom set and loved it, but my brother was 6”3 as a teenager and had a double bed! This has really paid off for my Mum as my kids now use the back bedroom and share the double bed!
I’m sure you can find a good deal for double beds if you shop around ...

Vicki7974 · 18/04/2019 18:00

My teens all have double beds - their rooms are big enough and their partners are allowed to stay too - my choice

YouJustDoYou · 18/04/2019 18:01

"Sure you can have a double bed. This is how much it'll cost you. I guess you'll have to get a job to afford it, huh".

TheLittleDogLaughed · 18/04/2019 18:02

Haven't read all the replies but my dd is 5,10" and so has a double bed. She's 16 now but has had it since 15. Most of her friends have doubles.

cantkeepawayforever · 18/04/2019 18:06

We bought wooden bed frames - singles - when the DC moved out of the cot at c. 18 months - 2 years old.

With replacement mattresses every now and again, we expect them to last until they leave home - that's what they were bought for (plain, sold, well-made single wooden beds).

I can see that if you did the whole toddler bed / cabin bed / whatever rather than buying an 'adult' bed as a first bed, you might have to buy a new bed for a teenager. But if you bought a decent adult single - why bother?

DS - very, very long, thin 18 year old - does have a double duvet as he finds it warmer and turns it diagonally if he needs the extra length. DD, 16, just has a single one.

lillymunster · 18/04/2019 18:12

I'm in my 30s and my single bed which I got when I was 6 is still in my bedroom at home, I still sleep in it when I go back. I do find it a bit small nowadays but that's probably because I've got used to having a king size bed to myself for the last couple of years!

Gwenhwyfar · 18/04/2019 18:13

"Double beds are quite normal for teenagers to have. "

Since when?
I was completely shocked by this after watching a TV programme and coming on here to say it was unrealistic, only for other posters to say it's normal. It was never normal in my time for a teenager to have a double bed in their bedroom of to have one in student halls.
When did this change and why?
Or is it just to do with mumsnetters being quite a lot richer than average and therefore having larger rooms?
I have a double bed and wish I didn't to be honest, it's a waste of space in my small-ish bedroom and I never share it so what's the point?

TessaL23 · 18/04/2019 18:14

As soon as my kids grew out of their cribs we bought them double beds (well queen size American beds bc we were in the US). They look teeny in their beds but we wanted to invest in good bedroom furniture that they can keep when they are older. They both have huge bedrooms though so space isn't an issue. The baby just started climbing out of her crib so I'll probably buy her a big bed too soon. Only downside is it's impossible to get cute kids sheets in queen size but oh well.

Anyways they are not babies - get them proper sized beds.

Pawsandnoses · 18/04/2019 18:15

I bought DD a small double when she was 5 and I moved in with my partner. It was really useful when our bedroom ceiling came through last year as it meant we had somewhere to sleep. Not sure why everyone thinks a double isn't big enough for 2. We don't take up the whole bed and we're normal sized people.

MattMagnolia · 18/04/2019 18:15

Double beds for everyone would be ok in a stately home. As British homes are the smallest in Europe and getting ever smaller a double bed would fill most bedrooms.
I suppose they’re desirable for kids who spend all their time on their phones and need nothing Else in the room.

Jzpap · 18/04/2019 18:18

It’s their bedrooms and if you’re doing them up it should (within reason) be how they would like them to be, so if that’s what they want get them double beds but try and get them to pay for at least part of the cost. I let mine have double beds as teens as my boys were over six foot, my poor daughter had to make do with bunk beds and she was the one always having friends to sleepover! If you have the space it’s probably worth it with lots of provisos about keeping their rooms tidy.

jwpetal · 18/04/2019 18:18

My 12 year old has a double bed, but his is also the guest bedroom So when guests come, he has to move out. that was the deal when he moved into the spare room from the box room. We get visits from abroad for long stays.

As for what your children want, if you can't afford it, then don't do it. Give them the option to earn some money to buy their bed. Mow lawns, wash cars, help the older neighbours with chores. that is what my son does to earn pocket money. If they don't want to do it, then I guess they don't get a bigger bed.

daisypond · 18/04/2019 18:19

To be fair, lots of posters have said it’s not normal to have double beds as well. As I have said, most teens I know are still sharing rooms with their siblings and are in bunk beds. Though I do know one set of siblings who actually have to share a double bed.

Heyarnold91 · 18/04/2019 18:21

If you don’t have the budget for it then they just need to accept that they can’t have what they want