Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
Shutuptodd · 17/04/2019 22:45

My dds room has a single bed with a tall chest of drawers at the end, a wardrobe and bedside table and that is all that will fit in her room she cant even fit a desk so a double is never going to fit she only has a foot wide path of floor space to the door.

As for my sons their room fits two singles parallel to each other against each wall with two bed side tables touching. My room can barely fit a double either but I'm only in it for sleeping and am on my own so have a smaller one. They have just built some new places nearby with even smaller rooms so God knows how they fit anyone in there.

CherylCheshire · 17/04/2019 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gamerchick · 17/04/2019 22:52

Bet it's bundles of fun in your house Cheryl Hmm

CoolCarrie · 17/04/2019 22:53

Our DS is 16 and. he got a double last December as he shot up in height to 6ft 3” but as far as I can see his friends still have singles. It reall depends on the size of their rooms and your budget,

notacooldad · 17/04/2019 23:30

I'm not understanding some of theses comments. I can't believe that a bed could cause so much angst and debate.

I've flicked through the comments and some people seem to think that everyone's bedrooms and living space is the same as theirs. It's back to people being in their own zone bubble!

'Where do.people live that 'they might as well as a double' in the North West o England.

majority of a third bedroom are too small for a double some people live in four or five bedrooms where I live! Some have decent size 3rd bedrooms but small fourth bedroom , like my mum and dad's

If they want a double let them pay for it!. Lol, they never asked or demanded a double bed! Why would I charge? Would I pay the price for a single and they pay the difference. What about when they leave home, who gets ownership if they have invested towards it?

Why do some parents actually seem to encourage this? This was the funniest comment. I really don't get it. I bought a double bed because it was clear when I came to change the beds from bunk beds that the lads were growing and they may as well be comfortable one bed was bought from a friend of ours who was a driver for a bed company in our town and the other was from IKEA so they hardly broke the bank in terms of costs.

MN isn't the real world. my two teenagers bedrooms are too small for double beds I live in a real world and guess what......all bedroom sizes are different. My bedroom is huge and so was DS1s. DS2 was tiny but he has the largest since we built an extension.

I think it's a bit over the top and indulgent. It's a bed! Not a stable full of ponies!

i just wonder if the kids all get used to 4ft 6 inches of width if they will. Then struggle to share with another adult later in life my two lads seem happy enough with their girlfriends and the girlfriends who also had double bed seem to be coping. So, it appears there's no damage.

wait till they go to uni and are sleeping in a slightly less than single size bed Another assumption, not all kids go to uni. Mine didn't.

Do all of the teenagers with double beds also have decent sized desks in their room or is the bed more important. It's not relevant to us anymore but the boys didn't have a desk in their respective rooms. They did most of their homework in one the quiet room downstairs where the computer was ( in the days before they had laptops) I wanted this so that it was easy to keep an eye on what was on the screen rather being in a bedroom in a different part of the house

Idon't understand this, most modern houses are often very small!. Maybe not everyone lives in a modern house. I don't, mine is very old. I haven't got any friends who live in a new house. They live in big cottages, a barn conversion, big Victorian terraces or 1930s semis. There's lots of styles that can incorporate big bed rooms.

what are your views about sex? completely irrelevant when I was buying a double for my then 8 year old. A double bed isn't going to encourage teen sex. I had plenty of sex as a teen, however I can't recall doing it in.a double bed until I got my own when I left home.

What a lot of fuss! Everyone does what suits their space, budget and needs surely?

JasperTheFriendlyGhost · 17/04/2019 23:41

My DD used to have a single with a double duvet. For her 15th birthday she asked for a king size so that’s what she has now

PickAChew · 18/04/2019 00:45

Teenagers don't need a double bed unless they're thinking of spending a lot of time in it with their legs apart.

Yep, that's exactly how my 15 year old son sleeps, funnily enough.

Waveysnail · 18/04/2019 01:18

I got my first double at 17. I paid for it myself with summer and weekend job. My parents couldn't afford a new bed.

thethethethethe · 18/04/2019 01:23

A single bed is roomy - more than enough room for an adult. So what's the point of a double? Let alone for a child. Try the bunk beds in the YHA and you'll appreciate the ample dimensions of a full size single bed.
What I find weird is the parents on here annoyed because their teenager refuses their offer of a double bed. I'm guessing that it's part of that attitude that you want to give your child everything that anyone else's child might conceivably have. The ones whose children started swimming lessons at 6 months, ballet at 2, got their first mobile at 4, etc.

Raspberry88 · 18/04/2019 06:33

some people live in four or five bedrooms where I live! Some have decent size 3rd bedrooms but small fourth bedroom , like my mum and dad's

Of course they do. People live in lots of different houses. The vast majority of housing stock in this country, however, is 3 bed and an awful lot of it has a box room for the third bedroom. So no, not all teenagers have a double bed. I get what the pp was saying about the 'real world.'

BarbaraofSevillle · 18/04/2019 07:09

Bedrooms 19ft by 15ft or thereabouts

That's about the same as the footprint for my entire house, which is admittedly a fairly small 2 bedroom semi, but the rooms are spacious by modern standards, being from about the 1950s - ie we have 2 double bedrooms that fit a double bed and a wardrobe, a pantry and a walk in overstairs cupboard, none of which is typical of 2/3 bedroom new builds, where people often complain about no storage and bedrooms too small to have wardrobes and beds in them,

Agree that a 3 bed semi with 2 doubles and one single is a fairly average house and that a five bed house with several enormous bedrooms each big enough for king size beds plus other furniture is by no means typical, except on MN. I also don't think double beds for DCs is the norm in the real world either. This thread has been a real eye opener.

notacooldad · 18/04/2019 07:48

I get what the pp was saying about the 'real world
The real world is a mix of all different things.
My first house was a 2 bedroom terrace where I could have fitted 2 double bedrooms in one room but a single in the other. My friend lives in a one bedroom flat
My point is quite few people have come on here appearing to believe that peole only live in modern huses and also have big bedrooms for teenagers don't exist.

madcatladyforever · 18/04/2019 07:53

Well they have to learn that it's your house and your rules but if they are adamant maybe they could do some extra chores to earn the money for a bed. Or maybe get a beanbag instead.
I slept in the spare room single bed a few weeks ago after being used to my king sized bed and found myself on the floor in the night. You do get used to spreading out.

PetuniaPetunia · 18/04/2019 09:01

What size is a double exactly? Our singles are 90x200cm, don't think doubles are longer than that,

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/04/2019 09:09

Doubles aren't longer but tall people can sleep diagonally without their feet sticking over the edge. A king is longer.

user1511042793 · 18/04/2019 10:42

Both of mine starting to ask for double beds and these will be provided when we decorate. However if you can’t afford it they can’t have one. Just explain that.

Funnyfarmer · 18/04/2019 12:44

My dd had a double bed from being about 12. I think she just had our old bed when we bought new, we upgraded to king size, so she had our old bed, and dd2 had her old single bed, who was 2 at the time and was in her toddler bed, so everyone got a new bed for the price of one.

Purplegecko · 18/04/2019 17:27

I had a single bed til the day I left home at 17. 18 year old sister has had a double bed for 2 years however it's used as a guest bed, otherwise she'd also have remained in a single.

DeniseRoyal · 18/04/2019 17:28

Wow, I am surprised so many of you think its ok for a teen to demand a double bed!! Its not ok its still OP's house, and if she can't afford double beds then so be it. I never had a double bed as a teenager, neither did anyone I know. But heaven forbid our precious offspring slum it in a single. Hmm

kazwelch · 18/04/2019 17:28

My two sons have to share a bedroom so not enough room for 2 double beds.

Putthekettleonplease · 18/04/2019 17:28

My kids are 5, 5 and 7 and they all have double beds.

physicskate · 18/04/2019 17:32

YANBU - I didn't have a double bed until I was about 26!!! None of my halls/ rooms at uni had double beds and then I worked somewhere I lived in (and they gave us single beds). My quality of life was a serious regression in many other respects - but why get them used to a lifestyle they may not be able to sustain once they move out of your house!?

Kids get given a lot these days (hell, kids always get given whatever the parents CAN give), but their 20s are then a MASSIVE shock to the system. It might be one of the reasons Millennials get a lot of shit.

DaisyBD · 18/04/2019 17:34

We've got a houseful of teenagers and six double beds. It's a lot of laundry. On the other hand, it's handy if we have lots of guests as we can shove the kids into each others' rooms. Anyway OP I think it's largely up to you, plenty of teenagers don't have double beds.

pointythings · 18/04/2019 17:38

Wow, I am surprised so many of you think its ok for a teen to demand a double bed

I don't think anyone here said it was ok to demand a double bed (or anything else... But its absolutely ok to ask. If the answer is no, then it's no. FWIW my DDs didn't ask - I suggested (because we had the space and the money) and they said yes.

And yes, they may need to sleep in singles for a bit at uni, but none of my younger colleagues who are house sharing have singles. Most hotels, even cheapo ones, have doubles these days. The world has changed.

Maybe, given that I am a respectable widow, I should trade in my lovely double for a single to prove my asceticism to the world?

Lyver · 18/04/2019 17:39

A single bed does definitely not prevent having sex.. trust me I know ;) however I was perfectly fine with my single bed all my life.. I've had a double bed every now and then when I was an au pair but it was not difficult to get back into a single bed when I got back home.. when I had the bed for myself I tend to sleep in the middle however I am now sharing it with my partner.. it's not difficult to change from alone to 2 people or from a double to a single..

My partner had a double bed from when he was 8 it takes all the space in his bedroom at his mom's (he doesn't live there any more but still has the room). If they don't need it yet (not having a boyfriend that is allowed to stay over) then if they really want it let them save for it themselves.. especially if you don't have the budget for it..