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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘So happy little Johnny got his 1st choice school’

164 replies

Mangetoutrodney · 16/04/2019 20:27

All over social media today with photos ‘So happy that little Johnny got his first choice primary school’

Aibu to think it’s not a bloody competition & it just rubs it in the faces of all the parents that didn’t get any of their choices etc. When did it become a ‘thing’?

Both my kids got their choices of school when they went to primary and start secondary in sept but I never would have dreamt about putting it on social media particularly because I know devastated people that had to go through the stress of appeals. Absolutely bonkers.

OP posts:
CupOhTea · 17/04/2019 07:46

Ah but nico, passing a grade 8 music exam actually involves skill. Getting into the school of your does not really. Unless it’s one with an entrance exam.

I suppose you could argue that the parents were skilful at earning enough money to buy a house near the school of their choice... or skilful at guessing where the catchment would begin or end. But then I know some really bright people who do amazing jobs but don’t earn much money.

Am I giving this a bit too much thought Grin?

CupOhTea · 17/04/2019 07:47

*of your choice

brizzlemint · 17/04/2019 07:49

Someone I know posted about passing their grade 8 instrument exam

Reading things like that is great, it's just when parents post about being proud of a children for getting a school place when there was zero achievement involved as they only had to fill in a form to get the place. By all means post that you are pleased that your child has got into the school of your choice but to say that you are proud of them when they didn't have to do anything is ridiculous. Obviously it's different if they have had to pass an entrance exam.

NicoAndTheNiners · 17/04/2019 07:50

Ok, I'll forgive them then! Wink

FlumePlume · 17/04/2019 07:54

At secondary level, with entrance exams, no one mentioned a thing. Not on FB or WhatsApp (though I got asked at the school gate a lot for a week or so). I felt I absolutely couldn’t put on FB how well my dd did, so lots of friends I see less frequently don’t know where she’s going to school and I’m still being asked in person when I see people.

ReadMyLipss · 17/04/2019 07:55

It’s just incredibly insensitive when lots of people don’t get what they want.

YABU

So people shouldn't announce their engagement because they know women who can't find a decent relationship let alone someone to marry them?

Or never be allowed to announce their pregnancy /arrival of new baby because they must know some couples have fertility issues?

Or be proud of their child going off to the first day school because there has to be people out there who never had children even though they wanted them?

Where do you draw the line? There's always going to be someone in the opposite position to you that you could potentially offend. You might as well say that you can't say post ANYTHING at all because it could offend someone.

sugartitz · 17/04/2019 07:58

I really think some people need to stay off social media if they get irritated and wound up by things like this. For some people, it's a source of stress and when their child gets into the school, it's tried and happiness, and why the hell shouldn't they write about something they're happy about on their own social media? As for no one being interested - I had multiple messages from friends asking me if my youngest had got into the school we wanted, so obviously some people do care.

And as for saying it might upset people who didn't get in - do you live your whole life constantly worrying about that? Have you never posted anything about an achievement, a holiday, a nice meal, anything, in case it upsets someone else?

glueandstick · 17/04/2019 07:59

This is mumset. Surely all the kids are in the prep’s nursery and just move up with a large deposit fee to be paid ;)

NameChangeNugget · 17/04/2019 08:00

Unfollow them, if their happiness offends you

Sirzy · 17/04/2019 08:00

I care about the people who I am friends with on Facebook.

I know how important the right school is for a child.

Therefore I fully understand why parents would share their happiness at the school allocation, or despair if they haven’t got what they want.

londonrach · 17/04/2019 08:02

Ive not seen a single person on my fb say that but the other way with people asking how to appeal and everyone offering advice.

rainbowstardrops · 17/04/2019 08:09

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I assume that people are just happy/relieved that they managed to get into their chosen school.
With regards to it being insensitive ..... well, nobody would be able to post about anything! Should people not post messages wishing their mum's a happy Mother's Day because mine isn't here anymore or should a FB friend not post saying he's been out for a lovely walk with his dog because mine has just died?
You just need to read and be happy for them or ignore it. Simple.

DameSquashalot · 17/04/2019 08:10

I don't see it as boasting either.

I also love seeing all the first day at school pics from friends and family. 😊

NeverSayFreelance · 17/04/2019 08:15

I'm glad I live in Scotland - I think those kind of posts would drive me up the wall Grin

OKBobble · 17/04/2019 08:18

It doesn't bother me. After the months of waiting it is usually a "relief post" rather than a boastful post. I actually like knowing where friends kids are going and it does mean you don't have to ever ask.

MorrisZapp · 17/04/2019 08:19

I came on to say the exact same thing :) This isn't a thing in Scotland. Have a kid. Send them to your nearest primary school. The end.

What an absolute palaver England makes over kids and schools. Plus the roads must be utter carnage with everyone driving five miles to get to fecking St Sebastians.

Daffodils07 · 17/04/2019 08:21

Oh do fuck of, so what are you allowed to post about on Facebook? Because it seems on here people have issues with everything!
Yes I did post that I was happy my child got a place at my first choice.
Mainly because it stopped me worrying how I was going to be in 3 places at once with a disabled child.

CupOhTea · 17/04/2019 08:21

I have lived all over the UK and while in England it is definitely a thing, it’s not the only place. In NI the furore around getting the pre-school (not primary) of your choice seems to be completely bananas. Or maybe that’s just among my NI friends?

Witchtower · 17/04/2019 08:22

@Nellie007 the discrepancies between the quality of schooling in my area are very much significant.

weekfour · 17/04/2019 08:23

I was relieved. I rang my mum and told her. I know we're lucky to be able to afford a house close to the good school.

4 of my DC's nursery friends don't have places. Their parents have divorced/separated and they can't afford to live in catchment. They'll now go to a different school from their older siblings because of the way admissions work in our local authority. I really feel for the families. It can't be easy managing two school runs.

I didn't post on social media. And I have judged posts I've seen. I can't help but see them as a post that actually means I'm so rich that I live on such a such road.

SofaSurfer20 · 17/04/2019 08:24

Get a grip.

Its happy news for some shit news for some others.

Same as everything else.

Dont be a snow flake.

apleasantdayout · 17/04/2019 08:28

That's the problem with social media. When you are talking to someone in person you can edit what you say depending on their circumstances and what might upset them. But on social media it goes out to everyone.

user1467530877 · 17/04/2019 08:33

Yep this bugs me. Especially where I live there is one school here and there were posts up about their kid getting into the school, when they went nursery there, have older siblings there and it's in thier catchment area! Well of course they got in 🙄. I have 4 kids 3 already in school and not once have felt the need to post that my kids have got in to the only school they could actually do to around here lol

Mummadeeze · 17/04/2019 08:33

No one I know does this. It is far too sensitive a topic. Even if I was pleased we got into somewhere I wouldn’t dare post about it for fear of pissing loads of other people off. I agree with you as it is really stressful and upsetting for people who get their 6th choice or none of their choices. If we get our desired secondary school next year I will be telling my nearest and dearest off social media.

Eliza9919 · 17/04/2019 08:34

It’s just incredibly insensitive when lots of people don’t get what they want.

Oh do fuck off. So no one can ever be happy about anything because someone, somewhere doesn't have the same??

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