‘So happy little Johnny got his 1st choice school’

[Mangetoutrodney]

All over social media today with photos ‘So happy that little Johnny got his first choice primary school’

Aibu to think it’s not a bloody competition & it just rubs it in the faces of all the parents that didn’t get any of their choices etc. When did it become a ‘thing’?

Both my kids got their choices of school when they went to primary and start secondary in sept but I never would have dreamt about putting it on social media particularly because I know devastated people that had to go through the stress of appeals. Absolutely bonkers.

Yes BUT if a friend was upset at X news you wouldn’t be jumping up and down excitment in their face would you? Yet it’s OK because it’s ‘just’ FB

If your FB friends consisted of that one person YWNBU

Obviously they don’t

Facebook isn't remotely like jumping up and down in someone's face though. Clicking on it is voluntary. Being friends with someone is voluntary. If you are feeling sensitive you can a) do something else b) scroll on by.

I found it odd that one of my friends posted that her DC got into their (only) village junior school, when the DC already attends the feeder infant school Surely that just happens anyway! We also have the infants-juniors & iirc all we had to do was sign a list in the reception area of the Infant School!

However, she's a worrier, so I'm pleased she's pleased.

My Facebook is a sort of family diary. I print the posts out as books and my kids love looking through them. I am just as allowed to be happy about a pregnancy or a school place as I am entitled to be sad about a miscarriage or failed exams. I am sick to the back fucking teeth of being expected to censor my little daily joys in case someone somewhere is offended or hurt. Fuck the fuck off or unfriend me. Why is your envy or sadness more worthy than my happiness? It's not like my life is a bowl of cherries.

Should a friend not post a mother's day message to her mum because mine has died? Should a new baby not be celebrated because I had a miscarriage 5 months ago? Should a university place not be announced because my son isn't going to make it to uni?
Grow the heck up people, or don't use social media.

I saw a bloody video of a ‘happy’ child.

What would that poor thing have thought if he hadn’t got into his not in catchment school.

We never got any of our choices a few years ago and I was devastated. It really works out for best though and I think my DD is actually in a better school.

We got 1st choice today for youngest not posted that on FB.

@confusedofengland - very occasionally some schools fill up with siblings only, who might come in at a higher criteria than the feeder infant schools. Unlikely though!!

DS1 didn’t get into our preferred (and nearest) primary school a few years ago. It was all very stressful and upsetting. But it never occurred to me to feel offended about this sort of post.

It’s something I perceive as people sharing their news rather than boasting. And it’s a common topic of conversation in the run up to the offer day, so it’s a quick way of letting friends know.

It's not boasting. Its just massive relief, along the lines of "results in, no STI!"

@Princess there is an older sibling already there, and they live in the next street to the school! So I couldn't see that there was ever any doubt. But, like I say, she must have been worrying to post it on Facebook, so I'm happy for her.

I’m so glad we don’t have to go through all this, it seems so fraught.

One of my friends posted that her kids got the schools they wanted. It was their choice as their big brother was at one and used to go to the other. She is not in the least bit boasty, and it was definitely a post about how relieved she was rather than it being any great achievement.

I think it is the sort of thing friends & family chat about. It’s holiday time so no maybe not seeing those friends to chat. I think it’s a fine update.

I like seeing the posts about where my friends kids are going, I also remember when DD didn't get any of her choices (and in fact got the only school in the area that I really disliked) a self pitying fb post helped, partly coz I needed to whine but also because of the amount of advice I got on appeals.

I aonly have close friends and relatives on my Facebook and I did write-this when DS got accepted to high school in March just so I didn’t have to write 30 messages. There is no skill it’s basically where you live. I was just super happy for DS as he’s autistic and would have caused a hell of a lot of problems if he didn’t get in. It isn’t harmful at all just people happy they got thier choices. I think you need to get a grip on yourself if a harmless comment like that makes you angry. You don’t get everything you want in life...

Fakebook - nuff said.

Yup
It’s worse at SS age
Facebook and worse —- WhatsApp gloating

We had to appeal and tbh it didn't bother me particularly to see other people pleased with the allocation they had. Some of them were happy to have the school we didn't want.

It can be a weight off your mind when you get the school you want so a quick post on Facebook isn't unreasonable.

maybe they are just happy they got his choice - so what? Maybe if FB is getting to you that much, best to come off it or unfriend them...

Huh?
Must admit I put on fb that dd had got a place at the secondary we wanted. But I use it to pass on that kind of level of news to my family and friends. Don't most people that use it? I don't post pictures of a new car or piles of Xmas presents or holidays. But telling people news is surely different?

We didn't get our first choice :( Only had two primary schools to choose between, a lovely little village school that offers good emotional support or the huge local primary with a bad reputation and scares the crap out of my very emotional, nervous DD - we got the latter.

There’s a massive difference between people posting that they’re happy/relieved/excited about their allocated school and posting about how well their child has done to get into their first choice school with subsequent “well done” and “so clever” comments, as if they’ve had some bearing on the decision. When my DS didn’t get into any of our choices I was really upset for him, especially when other children were being labelled as “clever”, it was offensive and as if my child wasn’t good enough rather than it being down to criteria.

It’s very insensitive, especially when posters know for a fact that there are people who aren’t going to have the outcome they want - the admissions are released on the same day (or there abouts) and so some sensitivity wouldn’t go amiss. Yes, there are people who are professionally offended and some things to be celebrated will always upset someone but, as a poster, if you don’t know then it’s not really classed as mean. When you deliberately post something at a time when you know that other people won’t have had a good outcome (because it’s not possible for everyone to have been given their first choice) then it’s twatish.

I cringed at a few of these posts today. Most of us are aware that other people just don't care which school our child gets into!

I think “telling people news” would be; “we heard today that Harry will be going to Hogwarts next year. He’s looking forward to it”!

Twattishness would be; “we are so proud of Dudley who got a place at our first choice school. Clever Dudley”!

The former is a bit boring for most people, interesting to only a few. The latter is cringe.

On a side note though, I don’t use social media at all, (unless MN counts?) and somehow my “news” gets told to everyone who wants to hear it 🤷‍♀️. I don’t “get” SM at all tbh. #dinosaur #blessed 😂.

Hey, I’m getting into this .

Someone I know posted about passing their grade 8 instrument exam. Very thoughtless seeing as I can't play an instrument!

YANBU. Especially as education in the UK is largely state funded. Therefore whichever school your child gets into, the discrepancies between the quality of schooling in an area are insignificant.